#over functioning

[unwelcome-ozian]

[katimorton]

Are you the person who always plans every event, cleans up the mess, and anticipates everyone else's needs...only to end up completely exhausted and resentful? In this episode, we expose the vicious cycle of over-functioning and uncover shocking clinical research proving that suppressing your needs does measurable damage to your physical health.

In this deep dive, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Kati Morton shifts to a single-topic podcast format to dissect "over-functioning" doing more in a relationship than the other person to feel safe or earn love. We discuss the psychological roots of extreme people-pleasing, toxic independence, and how fawning acts as a childhood trauma response. Kati reviews thirty years of data on "unmitigated communion" (focusing on others to the total exclusion of self), a 7-year study of 1,340 couples showing how over-giving traps people in unhappy relationships, and groundbreaking 2022 medical research linking self-silencing directly to carotid plaque. Finally, you'll get a 4-step actionable framework to break the loop using deliberate under-functioning and specific boundary setting.

[bearhedge]

Bear: What's the book called? 'Just Enough'?

Hedgy: 'Too Much'

[Both start cracking up.]

------

Technically....'Just Enough' is a brilliant title for the book.

(Though Terri's publisher might think otherwise.)

I checked with Bear and she confirmed that it seems like the book is really helping me be mindful of my over functioning tendencies. Because I was latched onto solving Bear's schedule conflict.

Bear emailed, but then I wanted to go have Bear ring. Because the appointment was in an hour.