Reflection|What if you Overblotted?
-Twisted Wonderland one shot/ Gender Neutral reader
-in this ficlet, you overblot and the darkness takes control of your once innocent heart.
🤎warning: Lots of Angst
You didn’t recognize yourself. This world was changing you, and as much as Dire Crowley tried to convince you that you were changing for the better…it didn’t suffice.
The heartache that you could feel within your very soul was bone chilling and you hid it all with a nonchalant façade, the black ink filling your mind each day your eyes set upon yourself, your reflection in the mirror.
The mirrors were a cursed relic to you. This very contraption was the reason you felt the way you did. It was the sole reason you’re here in the first place. It gave you nightmares each night, predicting the overblot of your dear friends.
You never considered that you, yourself could overblot. You have no magic! That was the problem—the second drop of that damned ink filling your once red-beating heart. The feeling was suffocating and you wished you had a purpose.
Look at me,
I will never pass for a perfect friend, or a perfect student.
Can it be,
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself,
I would break everyone’s heart.
Surely you were sent here for a reason! Grim would always assure you, and then he would proceed to call you his henchman. Having a familiar like Grim filled a tiny hole in your heart but it was not enough to fight off the darkness. Having Grim rely on you was a nice feeling. But even Grim had magic and he was powerful as well, next to him…you were just another lowly human.
You started to avoid your first year friends. Ace and Deuce would show up to Ramshackle dorm to give you the gossip of Heartslabyul and they would bring you some of the Tarts that Trey would make, or what was left of the tart because the boys would always eat it.
You did attend class. You never raised your hand or was fully involved in lecture, your mind was on something else. It seems like ever since the first droplet of ink which plagued your mind, you had been almost obsessed with your reflection when this wretched “First Death”, this curse…this blot, began to take hold, and you quite found yourself beginning to take a liking to the little changes in your appearance at first, the deep dark lines which stained your cheeks, the tears sometimes would flow and drop onto the wooden floors of Ramshackle and when Grim would hear you sniffle, he’d scamper into the room..but you quickly dropped to your knees ans scrubbed the tears away so the Familiar wouldn’t notice the sobs from you.
This morning, it was an off day. Ace had invited you to an Unbirthday party for Cater and you politely declined via text message. It’s not like he expected you to show up. You never spent time with them. Instead you took a walk around the empty and idle grasslands of the lawn which Night Raven was built upon. The statues of the Great Seven line up down the breezeway, each of their cavalier expressions sending another chill down your spine making you want to crack down and scream.
It’s all their fault. Somehow, the great seven had a hand in your blot. You could feel the ink seeping through some of the pores of your skin along with a few drops leaking out. The onyx colored liquid staining the concrete ground, leaving a trail that could be seen as tainted blood. You weren’t yourself and you knew it. This world was breaking you.
Why are you blotting?
You began to ran as fast as your legs could carry you towards the Wishing Well in the center of the schoolyard. Gasping for air as it felt like you were suffocating. It was a hurting feeling, as if your First Death was not enough, the second drop of blot was always the more painful.
Who is that person I see,
staring straight back at me?
You looked down at your reflection, beginning to cry harder than you had since you first came to Twisted Wonderland. Why could you not recognize yourself? Why was this damned world changing you?
You found yourself to being powerless, you felt small and not wanted and you wished you could do more. All the while, these nightmares plagued your once innocent heart, revealing the Overblots of your friends. It was like you were cursed. Cursed with knowledge that no one else could know, yet you still felt like you were weak. There was nothing you could do but stand idly by as they tried to fight the darkness within themselves.
But slowly…that darkness was within you.
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am, though I've tried.
When will my reflection show, who I am, inside?
Gripping the stony Wishing Well, you watched as the ripples formed within. Black mixing with the clear waters and showing someone you could not even recognize. Surely that wasn’t you, right? Your appearance was tainted and so was your heart. You couldnt decide if you should run away from all you’ve know but what do you know? This world is foreign and so are the feelings which were now apart of you.
Must there be a secret me,
I'm forced to hide?
Telling Grim and the others would be scary. Would they still love you? Would you still be the sweet Y/N they have always known? Are you going to die?
Must I pretend that I am someone else for all time?
What does it matter now? You’ve finally given in to the overblot. This darkness is yours. You must embrace, and for once in your young life, you felt magic seep within your veins. Magical pathways shooting through your fingertips and you knew then that no longer were you weak, no longer were you unsure of your purpose. You look at your reflection within the no longer rippling water and wipe the side of your face which was stained with an abundance of black ink, and slowly your lips turned up into a smile.
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Black wings drenched in ink and a beautiful swirl of white and grey lines adorned your newly attached limbs. Your hair grew longer and once your eyes were a bright and hopeful E/C which are now completely black. Your Irises and your sclera now a pitch black color, with un ironic inky tears dripping from them. Nails growing like the claws of a Bird of Prey and a long black cape which was tattered with holes trained down your back. It was a horrific but beautiful sight and your Blotted heart was just getting started.
Why must we conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
Your reflection was clear, you could recognize the person you seen. It was Y/N! You were finally yourself again, your purpose was apparent and you cried tears of joy. The sighs of relief escaped your chest as you clumsily landed down on the ground from attempting at your first flight.
You embraced the darkness, fickle as it seemed, it was yours. Those were your own demons, and you greeted them with open arms.
