#overspending

[respectissexy]

Some thoughts on being broke because you spent all your money on dumb bullshit and forgot to budget for the things you actually needed.

I have “spending all my money on dumb bullshit and then being broke” disease; not one but TWO DSM diagnoses that have the word “impulsivity” in the description, as well as what the more pop psychology inclined might call “addictive personality.” I quit drinking in 2018 and in the three years afterward I had shopping binges that fucked up my credit and my relationship. Broadly speaking, in my 20s, if I had $25 in my checking account with two days to payday and saw a $20 skirt I liked at the thrift store, I was buying it. Things are better now, but I still would never be accused of being “good with money.”

When I was at my brokest, it was an undeniable fact that my real problem was not making enough money. I entered the workforce making $9 an hour at the daycare before crawling up gradually to $16 answering the domestic violence hotline; then I finished grad school, moved to a place with higher salaries, and suddenly jumped up to professional wage employment. Even though my spending habits have only improved a little, it’s much easier to live a stable life in spite of this vice when I’m making a living wage. 

However, it is also a huge problem for me that I live in an environment engineered in every possible way to make me buy crap constantly! Extremely smart people are getting paid a lot of money to convince me to pay to have whatever food I’m craving delivered to me at great cost, or to buy a new product to make my face look younger. They do not care if I can afford to pay my bills after buying all this crap.

I used to be extremely triggered by any discussion of “frugality,” as I saw “being frugal” as basically a moral virtue that I did not possess. I think a lot of people have the same knee-jerk reaction to discussions around overconsumption and trying to consume less or more intentionally. “No ethical consumption under capitalism” has become a thought-terminating cliche. 

I think it’s fine and valid to say “being frugal isn’t a solution to poverty” and also “it is not a moral failing if you succumb to the many forces in your brain and environment pushing you to buy crap." Yes, poor people deserve nice things. Yes, sometimes a little treat is needed after a hard day. But… I also do not want to be a person who is always buying crap at the expense of her long-term financial health. I don't want to need to spend money in order to emotionally regulate. I don’t want to be lining the pockets of the people at DoorDash. I don’t want many pounds more plastic waste produced on my account. So what if Taylor Swift or the US Military pollutes much more? I don't control Taylor Swift or the US Military. I control me. 

For me at least, getting better at delaying gratification is a valuable goal even though I may always struggle with it more than other people, and even though I arguably shouldn't need to always be practicing so much willpower just to not go broke. Maybe one day I won't have Instagram showing me a new dress that is exactly my style every 15 minutes. But until then I do need to find a way to self-manage.

[lilacletterss]

I love spending my money on stuff I don’t need but I so desperately want

#iloveoverspending

[loveshickk]

[goddessdiary]

How to Declutter Your Life and Escape the Cycle of Over-Consumption:

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

𐙚 Start by identifying the areas of your life that feel most cluttered.

𐙚 Set clear intentions on what you want to keep and why.

𐙚 Use cash instead of cards to create a tangible awareness of your spending.

𐙚 Go through your closet, grab things you haven’t touched in over a year and decide whether or not to donate it or sell it

𐙚 Go through your room, house, garage, drawers, etc and gather items to donate, recycle, or throw away.

𐙚 Create a one-in-one-out rule for new purchases.

𐙚 Invest in quality products that truly add value, not trendy things.

𐙚 Limit online shopping to avoid impulse buys.

𐙚 Practice mindful consumption by having a list of what you need when shopping to keep you on track only buying things you need.

𐙚 Unsubscribe from marketing emails & unfollow brands to reduce temptations.

𐙚 Reorganize and deep clean your space to create a calming, functional space.

𐙚 Avoid emotional purchases by finding healthier outlets for stress.

𐙚 Cultivate hobbies that don’t require material goods, like reading or journaling.

𐙚 Set a weekly budget and stick to it.

𐙚 Implement a 30-day rule for non-essential purchases to avoid impulsive buys.

𐙚 Track your spending habits to identify areas where you overspend.

𐙚 Shop secondhand or thrift instead of buying new items.

𐙚 Learn basic DIY skills to repair or repurpose items instead of replacing them.

𐙚 Practice gratitude for what you already own.

𐙚 Adopt a minimalist mindset, valuing quality over quantity.

𐙚 Borrow or rent used items instead of purchasing them (like books).

𐙚 Consider the environmental impact of your purchases before buying.

[18thcenturythirsttrap]

King Charles’ €500K lobster dinner blows hole in French presidency’s budget

A state dinner with the U.K.’s king cost the French nearly €500,000.

Why is it that the 'tough choices' politicians across the world talk about never involve saving on luxury dinners and travel?

France, you were once better than that. Round about January 1793.

And yes, we on the other side of the Channel need to get the spirit of January 1649 back, too.

[daniel-oneiroi-daily]

Lemme tell you the 4 Shampoo Problem

I have very short hair. Each larger bottle of shampoo lasts me 2-3 months. You can do the math.

The larger bottles are often on sale, have coupons, and generally are much cheaper than small ones. They are also the only ones that come with pump-style bottles, which is necessary when you can't actually lift or manipulate caps safely or reliably. Buying a smaller bottle is not a solution.

Here's the 4 shampoo story, for people who never heard it (ie, most everyone:)

Shampoo was running low. I go to the store about once a week, so I made sure to get shampoo so I don't forget and run out.

But the shampoo in the shower wasn't out yet, so I put New Shampoo 1 under the sink behind a closed cabinet (this is important.)

In a week or so, Shower Shampoo did run out.

By then, I had totally forgotten about Shampoo 1. I went to the store as usual, and remembered to buy shampoo.

The shampoo had a sale on two of them! So I got two! Then I don't pay as much later!

I now have Shampoo 2 and 3. I put one in the shower. New Shower Shampoo activated!

Shampoo 3 goes under the sink... where I re-discover Shampoo 1.

I now have 3 unopened bottles of shampoo: 1, New Shower, 3.

Well, if I forgot about the 1 shampoo already under here, what else did I forget? I should take a quick inventory of toothpaste, deodorant, etc. on a big sticky note so I can check that before I buy more (assuming I remember this later...)

There is also a bottle of shampoo behind some other things, which I had bought on a long-ago trip, likely on discount + coupon with original shower shampoo. Four bottles completely full.

Again, these bottles last a couple months, so the original would have to now be around 3 months old. If I forgot these things within a week, what did 12-13 weeks mean?

NO, "writing it down" does NOT help. It *feels* like it does, but that's 1) more steps to remember to take, 2) more steps to actually perform, and 3) i will have to remember that i even did those steps in a few months.

lol that is why ADHD is a disability. It's hit and often miss. I still try but it is NOT in ANY WAY a solution.

No, not just a "social disability." I know what some big name ADHD bloggers say. Even if every single social aspect was resolved, I would still have working memory and memory formation impairment. I would still have sleep disorders directly related to the dopamine dysfunction. I would still have circulation problems directly caused by dopamine insufficiency.

That's how you end up with 4 full bottles of shampoo when you have ADHD and have poor working memory for what you did already, plus your brain forgets about things you can't actually SEE.

This is often called the "ADHD Tax," where having ADHD causes us to spend a lot more money that we do not have on things we do not need. It causes us to lose money because we forget things so often.

It costs us money when we throw out food constantly because it goes bad. We literally forgot we have it. While we are actively hungry and sometimes even when looking in the fridge. Depending on how that dopamine issue is going, we can see "ingredients" but not "foods," if that makes sense.

It costs us money because we'll intend to cancel that $15 subscription but it takes a lot of steps to figure out how to cancel, if we remember to cancel it in 20 minutes after we thought of it.

It costs us money when we mean to help ourselves get shampoo and then somehow end up with 4 bottles. (fuck, i know better, why couldn't i have just CHECKED, why do i do this to myself, i don't have money for this crap... ::recalls so many instances where i needlessly wasted things::)

And I feel compelled to KEEP all 4 bottles because I spent so much money on them that I don't have for stuff, and increasingly we can't return anything if we didn't keep the receipts (okay but probably i could eventually probably use them and it's just shampoo so i mean, it isn't really a waste, right?) it helped a lot to write it down, tangibly, not on the phone or computer, the math: each one takes 3 months to use. there are 4. 3 months x 4 bottles = 1 year. 1 year is about how long it takes to go bad. So get rid of just ONE of the bottles... but wait, again the money. (and it'll probably be okay for a little over a year before it starts really having breakdown problems anyways, under the sink is dark and it's an air conditioned apartment, i just won't buy any shampoo for the rest of the year...) Well if I keep it and can't use it, it goes bad and becomes useless and I can't use it. But if I give it away, someone uses it, and I can't use it. At the end, no matter what, I can't really use it.

and then i just hope that i can move on from that and actually DO the thing instead of just piling up stuff to donate by the front door in a box. (executive dysfunction. thank you, adhd.)

Edit:

By the way... if this sounds like you... you are already prone to hoarding, just by virtue of overbuying stuff and not being able to use it all.

You are allowed to help yourself and do things to make your life easier.

You do not need to have ADHD to do them.

You do not need a doctors' approval to label clear tupperware, make pictorial easy recipe notes for yourself, or even put little sticky notes on high-up cabinets so you know what's in them. You do not need anyone's approval to use a pomodoro timer or multiple laundry baskets.

(And if you have 4 bottles of shampoo, think about looking up local mutual aid groups. I swapped some things for bars of soap and some dishes.) 💛

[bamm072]

[thestoic8]

“You’re Not Broke… You’re Living a Lie (8 Signs)” A brutal Stoic breakdown of the habits silently draining your life. If this hits you, stay tuned. You’ll want to catch this one.