#ovethinker

[motivatedaily]

[chuuverse-orbit]

overthinking should at least burn calories

[non-unsual]

Sometimes, "you deserve better" is code word for "you're not worth the effort."

Walk away.

[adrunkpoetwallowing]

I don’t really feel happy, ever. I don’t think I know the feeling, just a kind of uncomfortable sense of calm.

When ever I feel joy, disgust or just sadness (crying) I over think it, I over think my emotions and don’t really get to feel it

[justcallme-oleen]

do i need to be less in order to be more?

if i am more, what do i need to be less?

will there be a balance in between?

and if there is; what more or less do i need to remove and add a part to myself?

-

The bottom line is: i do not know how to appreciate myself on the little things that i do. There could be a possibility, somewhere on the crevices of my thoughts, that maybe a validation is needed for this person to function. I tried discipline, but it feels more like a punishment when I do an established or planned routine. I always look at my fingers, just to check if my state is okay, since I also have a fixation on biting my nails. It's just that, I question things a lot if the people that I talk to, a lot, would still talk to me if I did not. No, I refuse to say it's sadness. It's more like a wonder, a melancholic inquiry. Because those types of thoughts are the most dangerous to me: it can easily corrupt. It's like...cleaning a fragile glass, except it's not a glass but a sugar glass. And I can't really talk about these things to anyone now—it's not that I have no one—it's just the fact that no one asks about me. And that also leaves me questioning things—little things—that I shouldn't question about because they are dangerous and melancholic and stupid. Somehow, I am hopeful. I know I'm not the same as before. I don't even know if the people I knew before know what I am now. I am a river flowing, and it's just sad that I can't stay the same for some. I have a lot to say, but I say it as goodnight.

-

I have my answer: i could be less or more to others, i think what's important is that I'm enough for ME.

[kaffeekatzenliebe]

Still alive after the first meeting of our group to do our presentation on friday, first i felt really awkward bc i couldn’t really add things to the conversation, partly lack language- and   of self-confidence, but then i tried to say things and they weren’t total bullshit ( i hope)

and then a girl from the group asked where  i come from, and then the guy who spoke the most and who is really selbstbewusst told me that he didn’t even recognised i’m not from austria, (maybee bc i didn’t spokethat much) and that he could understand everything (i said like 9 sentences) and then i blushed and said naaa it’s not so good, like always, but jeez i should see that i am good and can speak good and kann mich gut ausdrücken, and when i speak more even when i feel unconfortable i gonna just ‘evolve’ and nothing bad can happen (except maybe i cry, jup i almost cried today too, and gestern at night when i went to bed too bc i felt i can’t do it and i’m gonna fail bad)

jup okay trying to keep my head up and do my things and other things and others too