Sometimes you turn your head at the same time that they do and you catch their eyes in the hallway when you weren't planning to. And it shocks you like you've accidentally inhaled freezing cold water through your nose in a place you never expected to find water and it fills your lungs for just a second before it evaporates in their gaze, and now your lungs are not a chilling ocean but instead a desert, and you feel your steps grow slower and heavier as you fill with sand, and the hot sun glows out of your eyes and illuminates them, and you worry that someone will notice, that they'll know, and for an even smaller moment you feel like you've been turned inside out, and you're exposed and raw and you feel hideous, but just as soon, it's over, and they didn't notice and they aren't looking at your and you haven't changed at all. You're just walking down a hallway. And it's extraordinary how much can happen in a second.
