"Hello Gertrude here with an important announcement for all new members of the Otherworldly Affairs Bureau. Our mission is to keep every supernatural entity under our umbrella safe and accounted for Now, listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. You know what's scarier than me on a Sunday night wearing only a bra and a mud mask? Unprotected supernatural sex. Yeah, I said it.
I know you're all hot and bothered with those amazing bodies and shapeshifting abilities, but let me tell you, it ain't worth the risk. Take it from my girl Mary, the mold witch. She had a thing for luring mortals into her "bedroom of doom," where they'd become part of her freakin' mushroom garden. (The 60s were a wild time) Anyway, talk about taking the whole "eat, pray, love" thing to the next level, am I right?
Now Mary also had many conquests with other supernatural beings and don't even get me started on her mythical creature conquests....she was a bit of a wierd slut. But let's just say, things got a little too hot to handle. The Magical Accident Department was up to their eyeballs in messes thanks to Mary... So, let's all be responsible adults and practice safe supernatural sex, okay? Trust me, you don't wanna be the one with a mushroom growing outta your hooha.So wrap it up, or else I'll be seeing your face on the shame board in the break room.
