#padshanks

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

sirius' best friend for a year was a cat and i think we as a society should bring that up more

[impishtubist]

what if crookshanks was in ~love~ with sirius

HAHAHAHA I do ship Padshanks, yes. I think that Padfoot and Crookshanks could have had an affair going on. And when Sirius is in human form, Crookshanks has a big ol' crush on him.

[lynxindisguise]

Important question: Padshanks or Padbeak? Or both? Do Crookshanks and Buckbeak share Sirius, or are all three of them in a relationship?

why not both! crookshanks isn't thrilled to discover sirius's affection for a big stinky hippogriff, but what sirius gets up to when he's not around is none of his business, really.

[impishtubist]

Remus walking in on Padfoot fucking Crookshanks send tweet

[lynxindisguise]

Um okay so sometimes whenever Sirius is talking to someone, and Crookshanks comes into the room, Sirius starts stumbling over his words and rambling and he gets all red and flushed because Crookshanks is just so handsome, you know???? And Sirius REALLY likes him, and his crush is getting WAY out of hand.

okay

okay I'll play

so everyone assumes that sirius, as a human, is allergic to cats. and remus is a bit suspicious because he never used to be, but allergies change over time, and he WAS in prison for twelve years...

and sirius really plays it up, I'm talking THEATRICS. it's a great distraction from his real feelings, so he's now deathly allergic to cats, and everyone is being so good about keeping crookshanks away from him

crookshanks, of course, must expose this charade and hatches a little plan to expose him. I can't be fucked to think of what this plan is but it's super brilliant I promise, and it results in everyone realising that sirius is not allergic to cats, and him having to explain why he pretended to be, resulting in harry thinking his dogfather is secretly terrified of cats, and remus having vivid flashbacks to the time in sixth year when sirius pretended to be allergic to werewolves.

chaotic ask night

[lynxindisguise]

padshanks

ok. now this is an interesting one because crookshanks has strong dom energy, but we know that their relationship primarily revolved around crookshanks doing tasks for sirius.

therefore, one must conclude that crookshanks is the sub and sirius is the dom.

however, this is absolutely one of those situations where the sub has all of the power. crookshanks is the sub who knows how to get things done and will do it on their terms. sirius is really just there to look pretty (listen, crookshanks likes that post-azkaban rizz) while giving praise and scritches.

dom/sub game

[impishtubist]

sirius sleeping with remus, james, and fudge and playing eenie meenie miney moe to pick the father

And then, surprise, the father is Crookshanks!

[impishtubist]

it occurs to me that the real barrier to padshanks endgame is that the dynamic is inherently brat4brat. thoughts?

hmmmmmmmmm I don't understand the question, Sirius and Crookshanks are perfect for each other in every way. Crookshanks is a million times better as a partner for Sirius than that coward Remus.