#imp tag

[imminent-danger-came]

I don't want a cast of healthy characters I want them all to be varying degrees of suicidal

[lynxindisguise]

Sirius asks Remus to move in with him after Hogwarts, because he figures the best way to let Remus know he's interested in him is to make a big move. Remus accepts, and Sirius thinks great! We're dating now! Remus does not know this, however. Sirius proceeds to romance the fuck out of Remus for the next year, which Remus misinterprets as Sirius just being a Really Good Friend. They don't have sex bc clearly Remus is shy and Sirius is willing to wait for him! Anyway Remus doesn't figure out they're dating until their first anniversary dinner. Is this anything.

oh my god, sirius makes dinner reservations and tells remus ‘wear something nice ;)’ and remus thinks this is a dig at his wardrobe but well, sirius isn’t WRONG, so he puts on his best jumper and the cords without the holes in them, and they go out to a fancy dinner together, and sirius orders the good wine and surprises him with a thoughtful gift, and remus is feeling a bit overwhelmed by how good of a friend sirius is being! sirius looks a little hurt that he didn’t get him something, which is odd bc he of course loves to give sirius little gifts when he finds something that he thinks sirius will like, but it’s never a formal thing? and then sirius is asking ‘you forgot, didn’t you? :(‘ and remus is so confused bc he can be a bit forgetful sometimes but he of course knows sirius’s birthday and padfoot’s birthday and any other day that could possibly be important to sirius! so remus is all bashful like, ‘i’m really sorry I have no idea what I’ve forgotten” and sirius is all shocked kitten, ‘our anniversary?!?!’ and now remus is very confused bc their friendship anniversary is an Event with james. so finally sirius reminds him that he asked him out exactly one year ago today. and remus is now thinking of all possible other definitions of asking someone out when it finally hits sirius that remus has no idea they’re dating. sirius is now mortified, but remus is very excited to learn that sirius is his boyfriend! and then he’s like “but we’ve never had sex???” (they’ve done other things and usually share a bed but that’s just friend stuff!) and sirius says he thought remus was just shy. and remus is like “I am not that shy I would fuck you on this table if you asked” and then everyone else in the restaurant has a very awkward night the end.

[arliedraws]

Sirius getting his freedom pre-Sorcerer's Stone and going to Privet Drive to meet Harry for the first time, and Harry excitedly taking him by the hand and dragging him to his cupboard to meet all his spider friends 😭

ok thanks i guess FUCK. And maybe Harry's like, "Can we bring them?" And Sirius is thinking to himself, What the fuck, what the FUCK did they do to him? What did they do to his kid?

Oh man though, I wrote a scene like this in an ancient fic of mine where Sirius brings a six-year-old Harry to Grimmauld Place who has brought all of his most precious items with him. He pulls them out one by one, proudly showing Sirius all the broken toys he has. None of them work or are missing limbs, but Harry is so thrilled to share with him. And Sirius is horrified but can't show it because Harry is so happy that someone wants to play with him for once.

There's something devastating about Harry being really excited to show Sirius stuff that's fucking depressing as hell.

[soloorganaas]

Remus being so much of an ally at a Pride event he attends with Tonks that he ends up blowing the hot bartender Sirius.

he allied too close to the sun and somehow the charming guy behind the bar he thought he was jealous of is someone he wants to get on his knees for and now he’s behind some cellar shelves with a cock in his mouth and it’s fucking amazing actually

[elder-millennial-trash]

a very late birthday gift for my love, @impishtubist. I adore you, my friend. here is some wolfstar and jegulus dads for you.

Little League

“If this is how our husbands act for little league Quidditch, can you imagine how it will be when Harry and Teddy are on a house team? Or Merlin forbid, if one of them plays professionally?” Regulus rubbed his hand over his face. “I’m not sure I can handle this. James is already insufferable and Harry doesn’t have a clue as to what's going on. He’s only six years old! He only learned how to properly say Quidditch about a year ago. Imagine if Harry starts to like the sport? I may have to divorce him.”

[acewitch-writes]

You are so correct. As someone else who is also chronically ill, I don't understand how fandom managed to take lycanthropy, a chronic illness, and turn it into something that makes you huge and strong and buff and horny. I can only conclude that none of these people have ever been ill in their lives, because that is NOT how it works.

Thank you!! It drives me insane the way this fandom pretends to be so progressive and subversive and yet the undertones are SO fucking ableist and comphet??? And yet I'm the one who is ableist for not vibing with the mainstream angry characterization of Remus (or so I have been told many, many times by Fanon Remus stans).

Lycanthropy in canon isn't the best chronic illness rep, but it has so much potential that we could expand on. Instead, fandom fetishized it. Remus' chronic illness gives him superpowers now and makes him huge and muscular with a cock to match. I just can't understand how so many people are blind to the blatant ableism in these headcanons.

[neongreenllama]

Llama! How is pregnant omega remus doing today?

why thank you for asking, imp. i know you care very much about our pregnant man and he appreciates it.

let's see .... remus woke up very grumpy because he is so big now that he cannot roll on his side anymore and he hates being forced to sleep on his back. he also had a hard time getting up from lying down. sirius tried to help him which then led to remus telling him he's not an invalid and he can get up on his own thank you very much (he can't. sirius has to help him)

to make up for all the discomfort sirius's super sperm is causing him he makes him tea and a very elaborate english breakfast with extra pickles on the side and jam for the sausages (don't ask, he's been craving it) ((no eggs because they make him nauseous)). remus is a little less grumpy after that but then sirius sadly has to leave for work since he is doing a Very Important Job and has many Responsibilities (but not without saying goodbye to remus AND the baby)

remus is way too pregnant to work so he busies himself watching tv, reading, calling lily and asking her when this will all be finally over, going to pee every five minutes and still peeing in his pants a little bit when he sits down, and nesting. so far almost every inch of their home is covered in pillows and blankets and stuffed animals and the pantry and kitchen are close to bursting at the seams with all the food he's been hoarding (mostly canned so it doesn't expire quickly) and so much formula they could feed ten babies even if the world ended tomorrow (you never know what could happen okay??? he needs to be prepared!!!!! the baby must eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

the rest of the day he sits in his comfy nest, eats, and misses sirius terribly and texts him a lot until he finally comes home and remus can bury his face in his neck. he complains to him about his aching back and his swollen feet (sirius gives him a feet massage and then a blowjob) and that he looks like an airballoon (sirius tells him he's beautiful and lets him sit on his knot). and then he goes to bed early :))))

[hihimissamericanbi]

Hi tell me more about leather daddy Alphard Black and boy toy Fleamont Potter 👀

Eep Imp in my ask box 🫣

Okay so this started because I imply that Uncle Alphard was an OG leather daddy type back in the day my r/s big bang fic The Homecoming of Sirius Black

@emeryhall read it, and as a New Yorker completely agreed with the characterization of Alphard as queer leather daddy on the scene in the West Village in the 80s. And isn't that a great headcanon for Sirius? That he gets his long hair and rebellious streak and leather jacket and motorcycle from his queer elder?

And, as Emery is Queen of Crack Smut, ofc she jumped right to "okay how do we write leather daddy Alphard who do we ship him with??" and I was like obvi Fleamont Potter like tie that man up.

And because I love poly smut we go with the angle that Euphemia "loans him out" to Alphard for some "enrichment activity" if you will. Like father like son and those Potter boys need A LOT of stimulation.

So. Thoughts?