A couple weekends ago I was in Buffalo at the NASFIC convention. While I’m not sure it was the most attended convention at which I’ve been on programming, it was the first one with a seriously national draw for program participants and attendees.
On the good side: I saw friends who’d moved away, or friends I’d never met in person, and that was amazing.
On the bad side: I had a lot of imposter syndrome creating performance anxiety going into the convention. I mean. We had panels with online attendees who were in other countries! As a small press and independent author, I felt… insignificant.
While driving out to the convention, I made a note that I wanted to do a post about imposter syndrome, but I had no idea what I wanted to talk about. If I had written the post then, it would have been a very different post than it is now. My brain is always in a different place pre-convention than it is post-convention.
You see, the anticipation is far worse than the reality.
The most important thing to remember—and this goes for any field—is that if you do work in that field, you are valid. Yes, I mean this to include photographers who only work with their phones, or people who research deeply and historically, but may not have published yet, or fans who write tons of fic and know every detail about a show. Do you have a place where you feel like you have strong knowledge, and would love to talk about it? You’re valid.
At this convention I shared panels with people who’d been writing since the 60s, and people who only started writing recently. I spoke with folks who only did fan writing. I met writers who’ve done both independent work and tradpub. I viewed art from artists who made their living by it, and artists who enjoy doing it as a hobby and side gig.
All still valid.
And the best part? Almost every single one experiences imposter syndrome at some point. We all have weaknesses that create little worms that wriggle under our skin, making us itch with anxiety, and tiny voices that whisper in our minds that we aren’t as good, or as interesting, or as… as… whatever adjective you might think of… as someone else.
Even when we think we conquer a fault, it is still there, waiting beneath the surface. (Seriously, ask me, and I will tell you my biggest weakness is that I can neither world-build nor plot… despite knowing I’ve accomplished both.)
Anyway.
The point is, we are all individuals. We all wonder if we are important enough to share what we love. We all wonder if we are good enough at what we do for someone else to be interested in it. Are we unique? Are we worth it? Will anyone care?
Yes. Yes, they will.
So, if you want to share, please know that somewhere out there is an audience for your creation (story, photograph, in-depth essay, or whatever it is…).
If you do not want to share, that’s okay, too. Create for yourself. It’s still valid.
And when you worry about what others might think, remember that the people around you are thinking that exact same thing. We all wonder: am I doing this right?
We are not alone in our fears.
I had a great time in Buffalo. Yes, there were hiccups on my panels (and oh dear gods was I ever terrified when the moderator of my first panel fell ill, and I ended up being a surprise mod for it). Yes, there were things that I wish could’ve gone differently. But overall, I’m pleased with how my own participation in my panels went.
Will I be anxious again at the next convention? Hah, yeah. Will I have imposter syndrome again? Always (in fact, I’m working on a T-shirt design).
As expected, both of my panels are on Thursday the 18th, though the participants lists are not 100% accurate-- I'm not listed on the Gender in Comic Books panel (while Kelly Sue DeConnick is, which she denies), but the times and rooms are all that you need to worry about!
My blogging panel conflicts with the Hannibal panel, though! So don't forget to record it for me!
1:00pm - Room 28DE
Gender in Comic Books
Ball State University professor Christina Blanch moderates a sincere discussion on the topic of gender in comics with Mark Waid (Daredevil, Insufferable, Irredeemable), Kelly Sue DeConnick (Captain Marvel, Avengers Academy), Grace Randolph (Supurbia), Meredith Gran (Octopus Pie), and George Pérez (The Brave and The Bold).
7:00pm - Room 23ABC
Family Feud: The Comics Blogging Panel
With the 24-hour news cycle turning into a 24-minute news cycle, fans are still getting their comics news from the top news sites and blogs out there. Join moderator Tom Spurgeon in a no-holds-barred discussion with comics journalists on how they make-and break-the news, the ethics of journalism, the death of blogging, the uses of social media, and ways you can join in on the fun. With Spurgeon (The Comics Reporter), Heidi MacDonald (The Beat), Tony Isabella (Tony’s Tips), Alexa Dickman (Ladies Making Comix), Rich Johnston (Bleeding Cool), and special surprises!
