#panic m

[sighingtavern]

❝ ... ❞

Bailey expected this to be a good party. But everything was failing, she was going into the corner. Cortex...where was Cortex? As much as she pressed her back against her corner...something was...WRONG.

[ghostboy-00]

Me: am I panicking because I am too hot or am I too hot because I am panicking?

My brain:

[gurgies-blog]

i feel a panic attack setting in lol 

[sentimnt]

tell me about the tiny details of your day

i was panicking during break and i couldn’t find anyone so i hid in the band room an d got really scared and lonely and then during lunch i skipped club fair and got pizza and salad but didn’t eat much i just sat with john and henry and connor and eliza and laid on john’s lap and then john left so i laid on elizas lap watched videos of dogs and it made me feel better  then during an allschool meeting i fell asleep on tara’s shoulder holding her hand and there were a lot of people and i was really scared but i was ok and i ended the day with most everyone i know upset with me to some extent for some reason or another so i sat by a window at school until the bus came and now i am hiding in my room from my mother and trying to calm down kinda

thank u i needed this 

[gurgies-blog]

its p funny at this point. i think even my parents are starting to worry i mean? ive always kinda been “lazy” and “different” but when i was younger i had boundless energy (it seemed) and it was more of a quirk even the bad things were just that. quirks id scream abt light or textures or people touching me i never smiled at ppl ever id just stare at them id cry and panic if i had to make a friend even though i desperately wanted to (but of course no one mentions that) i refused to wear things with tags or odd seams in them id get in trouble for getting cute clothes but not wearing them bc of seams or tags nothing. ever. registered for me. i hardly rmbr anything my whole life has been. so. fucking surreal i hate it id overload easily all just quirks and now that im older and understand the implications of what this is doing? like idk im older and ive matured a bit but the way u function hasnt and it still sucks just more so and now that i can see this it just weighs me down and i never smile at home or anything like im a traditional Rebel Teen™ outside my room but catch me in my room lying on the floor w bags under my eyes staring at the ceiling unable to process sound. like idk i just. meh and its funny bc now when i say shit as a response ie “what were you doing” “absolutely nothing” my parents immediate response isnt negative its just hesitant. mom doesnt know how to respond. like. idk. if i didnt know any better id almost say shes worried funny. anyway edit: i was also really sick as a kid so honestly i was a trooper like. i actually went about my day pretty well considering i didnt have much energy

[sentimnt]

tell me about ur day

today was rough i took a french exam that was so so much harder than i thought it would be and like i know i did fine but i know i could have done so much better and my writing could have been so much better and it really got to me and after i got out of the exam i went to the art room and started crying and freaking out and trying to calm down and i was shaking and it was really messy and then tara came in and tried to help me calm down and went with me to get food since i hadn’t eaten and she listened to music and i watched netflix and laid on my backpack on the ground and calmed down a little and by the end of the day i was laughing again and i got home and took a nap and i feel a lil bit better

thank u for asking!! ah

[gurgies-blog]

catastrophe thinking!!!

[gurgies-blog]

i hate getting super nerv n panicking bc i either a) shut the fuck down or b) start crying and doing this weird. half scream while flappin my hands and dangerous speeds. why