Was I supposed to be writing? Let alone a new story? No. Did I anways? Yes. Chapter 1 of CaZ is up!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
Life and Death, two very contrast things. Or are they? In the zombie apocalypse, what is death? What is life? Is anyone truly living? A scientist searching for a cure to his mistake, a firefighter bent on helping survivors, two supernatural brothers struggling to adapt and survive, and two brothers who desperately want to rest and find safety. Will they survive?
Young twins Roman and Remus are playing in the mud! It's King against Duke in a War against the Mud kingdoms. Which twin will be victorious? Or, will the twins become one kingdom?
Tickletober day 21: Playing Dirty
“I AM REMUS! DUKE OF MUDDY CASTLE!” Remus shouted, standing on a pile of mud.
“WHAT?! WHAT ABOUT ME?!” Roman shouted, standing on another castle.
“You’re the king, silly! BOW DOWN TO THE KING OF DIRT STAIN!” Remus declared, bowing down himself as well.
Roman giggled and cheered. “Yes! Thank you, thank you all! As your new king, I will give you all farm jobs! So you can become rich!” Roman declared.
“Or, you all can join ME! Where you can become rich, WITHOUT working hard!” Remus declared right after him.
“But- you get to work with animals! What could be fun about NOT doing work? You’d get bored!” Roman reacted, feeling annoyed.
“Not if we have mud wars to start…” Remus replied as he made multiple mud balls. “I DECLARE WAR ON DIRT STAIN!” Remus shouted.
“COME ON, MEN! LET’S SHOW MUDDY CASTLE WHO’S THE #1 KINGDOM!” Roman shouted to his fake audience. Roman and Remus both let out loud war cries and started throwing mud balls at each other.
The creative twins were shirtless and completely drenched in mud! The mud ball war only made their muddy exterior even worse. Roman kept throwing mud balls at Remus’s chest and legs, while Remus was aiming for his chest and face! While Roman was well aware getting mud in the eyes really hurts, Roman was also aware of how strong he was! So, he could handle some muddy eyes!
It didn’t take long for the kingdom leaders to gang up on each other. “Surrender now, King!” Remus ordered.
“NEVER!” Roman shouted back.
“Then I shall unlock my most powerful weapon…” Remus warned.
Roman giggled as he went along with it. “oH nO! It CoUlDn’T bE…” Roman reacted.
“That’s right, King Roman…” Remus said with an evil giggle as he rolled up his mud-made sleeves, “Fear! My! FINGERS!” The Duke shouted.
Remus started squeezing Roman’s sides and tickling Roman’s belly button! “hehEHEHEHEY! NOHOHOHOT THIHIHIHIHIS!” Roman shouted.
“But of COURSE! The most evil of weapons MUST be used to take over your mud kingdom! My weapon? TICKLING!” Remus declared proudly.
Roman squealed and only squirmed around more in the mud. “REHEHEHEHEMUHUHUHUS! IHIHIHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLEHEHEHES!” Roman laughed.
Remus gasped. “WhAaAaAt?! It’s not SuPpOsEd To TiCkLe! It’S sUpPoSeD to HuRt!” Remus reacted sarcastically.
Roman shook his head and tried getting him back. He reached his arms up and managed to give him a hip squeeze! “aaaAAAH! Ohoho!” Remus jumped before grabbing his wrists. “Not happening, bro!” Remus said with a smirk.
In an attempt to get the upper hand, Roman placed both his feet against Remus’s chest and gave his body a push! It actually worked miraculous wonders and managed to push Remus right off into the mud puddle!
SPLASH! Remus went! If he wasn’t covered in mud before, he DEFINITELY was NOW!
Roman quickly crawled himself on top of Remus and started successfully squeezing his hips. “Wahaha-HAHAHAHAHAIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! UHUHUHUHUNFAHAHAHAIR!” Remus shouted.
Roman scoffed. “Since when was war ever fair?” Roman reminded him.
Remus guffawed at that statement amidst his laughing. Remus knew very well that Roman had a point. But he couldn’t actually tell him that because of Roman’s constant tickling. “THAHAHAHAT’S TRUHUHUHUE, IHIHI GUEHEHEHESS.” Remus managed to tell him.
Roman smiled and gave Remus a small break. “Glad to know you agree!” Roman reacted.
“Joseph Stalin, tho! He was the most unfair of unfair people!” Remus added.
Roman tilted his head and upper body back and forth in uncertainty. “Eeeehh...Adolf Hitler was also pretty bad.” Roman added.
“But Stalin killed SO MANY PEOPLE!” Remus added. “But someone else managed to beat Hitler AND Stalin COMBINED:” Remus added.
Roman dropped his mudball. “...Who? And how many?” Roman asked.
“Mao Dezong. And 78 million people were killed in 33 years.” Remus replied.
Roman widened his eyes and looked down. “I don’t wanna play war anymore.” Roman told him.
“Those wars happened decades ago.” Remus added, before looking at Roman and noticing his fearful face. “Hey...we can join forces if you’d like. We can be the Dirty Castle.” Remus suggested. “We can be the ultimate duo kingdom! And the best part?” Remus declared.
Roman looked up in hope.
“Little bloodshed!” Remus replied.
Roman smiled and stepped on the mudballs he had created earlier. “It’s a deal, Duke.” Roman replied as he shook Remus’s muddy hand. Remus smiled and made an official shake before taking a bit of mud and rubbing it on his forehead like a type of ritual. “King Roman of Dirty Castle.” Remus declared, holding his muddy arm up. When Remus let go of Roman’s hand, Roman bowed to the new mixed kingdom and put his right hand up. “I, King Roman of Dirty Castle, promise to be a loyal, brave and intellectual leader alongside the Duke.” Roman said to the invisible crowd.
“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TWO DOING?!” someone shouted from a few metres away. Roman and Remus looked to the right and widened their eyes:
Patton had found them! And Logan was with them! UH OH!
Logan took off his glasses and rubbed his nose. “Boys, boys, boys...What am I going to do with you?” He asked rhetorically in slight annoyance but mostly amusement.
Patton stormed up to them. “You two are covered in mud! Honestly!” Patton reacted, rubbing the mud off Roman’s forehead. “Some of it is already dried onto you!” Patton added in horror.
“Aww, come on Dad! We were having fun! We were having a mud kingdom war, and we just made a truce when you came out!” Remus reacted.
Patton groaned. “War games?” Patton whined in worry.
Logan nodded his head in curiosity. “Hmm...Sounds like you two signed an Act of Union and became one kingdom then.” Logan reacted. He giggled as he pointed at Remus. “Scotland, I’m guessing…” Logan then pointed to Roman. “And England.” Logan assigned.
“Awww yeah! I’m a SCOTTISH VIKING!” Remus shouted in a mediocre scottish accent.
“And I’m the Biscuits and Tea Country, known as England!” Roman declared in a fairly accurate english accent while lifting his pinky finger up and pretending to drink a cup of tea.
Logan was giggling at the two, before he was elbowed in the shoulder by Patton. “What?” Logan asked.
“We need to get these two hosed down.” Patton told him. “Where are your shirts?” Patton asked.
Roman and Remus both pointed to the car. Sure enough, their black and green costume shirts were laying on the engine hood of the car, slightly wet and dirt-stained. Patton sighed and decided to grab both kids hands and drag them to the water hose.
When the water hose was turned on towards their bodies, Roman full on shrieked and started shivering right away! “IT’S FREEZING!” Roman shouted.
Meanwhile, Remus didn’t mind it and actually tried to drink the water despite the mud from his face running down into his mouth. “Remus, stop drinking the water. It’s not drinkable!” Logan ordered.
Remus just laughed. “Tastes fine to me!” he declared back, sticking his tongue out to him. Logan rolled his eyes and continued to wash the kids off.
When the water reached their bellies however, both of them bursted out laughing and squirmed around like crazy! “IHIHIHIT TIHIHICKLEHEHES SOHOHOHO MUHUHUHUCH!” Roman shouted, struggling to cover up the ticklish spot with his hands. Logan kept constantly moving the hose around, making it almost impossible to cover up any ticklish spot!
Remus had already collapsed onto the ground, and was kitty fighting the air while he flopped around and rolled all over the place. “Remus, hold still!” Patton begged, bringing the hose water to Remus’s legs and aiming at his thighs. Remus went BALLISTIC after that! “NAHAHAHAHAHA! THIHIHIHIHIHIHIGHS TIHIHICKLHLHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!” Remus shouted at Patton.
“I know, but this would go a lot quicker if you stopped moving!” Patton told Remus.
At the same time, Logan was washing the back of Roman’s scalp off. This was making Roman all giggly and super squirmy. “Ihihihihi cahahahahan’t! Tohohohohohoo tihihihicklihihihish!” Roman giggled.
“Funny...Your brother is getting tickled even worse than you. I don’t think you should be complaining, Ro.” Logan warned.
When the kids were hosed down enough, Patton and Logan summoned them some towels and let them dry off. The kids were all giggly and squirmy by the time the tick-I mean hosing down, had finished. Thankfully though, the giggles seemed to die down by the time they got into the bathtub.
Logan and Patton were both washing the twins. Patton was washing Remus’s hair, while Logan was rubbing a sponge on Roman’s back.
Roman let out a relaxed sigh. “I feel like a king.” Roman told his brother.
“Me too, bro.” Remus said, melting from the scalp massages.
Patton rolled his eyes but giggled at the silly kids. It didn’t take long for the calming bath to turn playful as Patton tickled Remus’s neck. “Mmmm...this feels- BAHA! HAHAhahahaha!” Remus said before being interrupted by surprised laughter.
Patton was smirking and scratching at the back of Remus’s neck. “Feeling relaxed yet?” Patton teased.
“NOOOHOhohohoho! Come ohohohon!” Remus begged, reaching his arms up and over his head to grab Patton’s hands.
Roman couldn’t stop the evil snicker from leaving his lips as a mean idea came to mind. Roman poked Remus’s right armpit and scratched a finger on Remus’s left armpit.
“HahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ROHOHOHOHO! STAHAHAHAHAP!” Remus shouted to him, dropping his arms down and squishing Roman’s fingers. Remus’s laughter and Roman’s evil giggles echoed through the bathroom more, thanks to the poor soundproof walls. Not only that, but the water was causing the sound to bounce all over the place as well! That just made the room almost chaotically echoey!
“Oh, I remember. I just wanted to tickle you.” Roman teased before retreating his fingers.
Remus’s laughter slowed to giggles a little and went slightly limp. But the giggling continued to plague him, thanks to Patton’s nimble fingers STILL tickling his neck.
“Okay, Patton. You can stop now.” Roman suggested.
“What if I don’t wanna?” Patton asked.
Roman sat himself up straight and made himself look triumphant. “I, King Roman, order you to cease your tickle attacks on the Duke of Dirty Castle!” Roman ordered proudly.
“Oh?” Patton reacted with a smirk, before looking at Logan.
Logan gave him a smirk back and wrapped his arms around Roman’s bare chest. “Now YOU listen here, King Roman of Dirty Castle! I am a king too! King of this household! And YOU shall bow to me!” Logan ordered, tickling Roman’s upper ribs in the process.
Roman shrieked and bursted out laughing! “BAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHEYYY!” Roman laughed, squirming everywhere and splashing water all over the place.
“Goodness gracious! We have a fighter here, Padre.” Logan warned. “Should I cease or continue? If I continue, you may end up getting wet or worse: get your glasses wet.” Logan warned.
Patton bursted out laughing at that and leaned back. “You have glasses too! And they’re gonna get wet as well!” Patton added.
“Well, looks like we’ll both have to sacrifice our sight to conquer THIS kingdom…” Logan decided.
Roman and Remus looked at each other with confident smirks on their faces. “I’ll get Logan!” Roman declared.
“I’ll get Patton!” Remus declared back.
“rrRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRR!”
The twins screamed to their older sides and started tickling the daylights out of them! Their wet and soapy fingers only increased the ticklish sensations, and made their fingers more slippery while tickling. It didn’t take long for Patton and Logan to fall onto their back, and for Roman and Remus to jump onto them and continue their war against the other kingdom!
Even after being hosed and bathed...the twins never truly forgot about the war games they played. The only difference was:
There were more players! ...whether the adults liked it or not.
Ahhh ❝ Well, what happened is, I put the kid down for a nap. But I got tired too. So, now it’s 11pm and no one’s had dinner. On the plus side, Spongebob is on.❞ with Virgil saying it to Patton? Please? I’ll love you forever
(Sure!)
Virgil and Patton had been married for ten years, and Virgil was forever grateful that Patton never made him go along to his book club. Everyone there was peppy and loud, especially Roman.
So he kisses Patton before he goes, reassuring him that everything will be fine, once again.
Unfortunately, just as Patton leaves, Logan suddenly goes into tantrum mode.
He screams and throws himself on the floor crying. He refuses to eat the healthy dinner Virgil had cooked in advance, instead trying to get into the snack cupboard.
(Virgil loved his kid dearly, but oh god three year olds were awful.)
He physically removes Logan from climbing the book case, but he’s persistent, and all Virgil can do is try tire him out, until eventually Logan collapses on the floor and falls asleep right there.
Virgil puts him to bed, checks the time, and realises just how tired he is now.
So Patton comes home to Virgil curled up under a blanket on the sofa, cartoons playing on the television.
“...Virgil? You ok?”
Virgil yawns and nods weakly.
“...the place is a mess. What happened?”
“Well...” Virgil sits up, “what happened is, I put the kid down for a nap. But I got tired too. So, now it’s 11pm and no one’s had dinner. But on the plus side, Spongebob is on.”
Patton blinks slowly, then sighs and shakes his head.
“You sleep, sweety, ok? I’ll make a light meal for us. And if Logan wakes up I’m sure he won’t object to snack foods.”
Virgil yawns and nods, smiling as Patton kisses him goodnight.
