Sep 3, 2019
Patcake from Emmer
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Patcake from Emmer
Ezraaa Millerrr!!!! Kidding Pogi Pattycake! I miss you!!! I just wanted to keep my favorite pics of you here in my private blog for lots of strength and guidanceee. Yep, this week is going to be super tough for the both of us.
Always know I love you b! I’m here for you. Thank you for being here for me too. You are my place of comfort even when you’re so far away. But I never felt lonely, not even once. It really hasn’t been that long since we got together, yet you’re everything I wished for and more. You’re just being yourself yet I feel really spoiled. And It’s already August! I believe we’ll make it through, like we decided last May. 💕
I can’t wait ‘til our next one-on-one date!
Say whaaat!
I feel so tired. The past month exhausted me physically. Lack of sleep, finishing work at 4 am, rush work, making mistakes etc etc. Emotionally, well, I really feel elated and supported. He gave me the strength to keep going and inspired me to do my best. I feel so bad I made him wait for more than 3 hours on an unpredictable work day. Plus, his travel time to get to me and go back is crazy. It’s weird how my new job also changed my perspective on both my lifestyle and love life. It took me 2 months to move on to my new job, and it took me 2 months to move on to my guy. Haha, life. I love them both!
He’s waiting hours for me, going out with both his friends and my friends, trying to make things easier for me, taking care of me, all while remaining so lively! And so many other things. Isn’t he tired? That’s beyond sweet. I keep thinking, what in the world did I do to deserve this? Why me? Did the universe hear me out on that night I wished out loud? I met him two days after that. But I think, it’s because of how strong I was. I held on to my belief of love, even though I was burned so badly. That love is ultimately wonderful. That someone out there has the same heart as I do. That I’d wait for that loyal person who brings my creativity into life. That I deserve the best. And he does too, so I will do my best to make him feel it. It’s scary and amazing at the same time! How the eff, how often does it happen that you meet that certain someone who brings out the best in you, so quickly? He speaks the language of my heart and soul too. That’s so cheesy right? But nothing’s too cheesy for us. Up to now, I still find it unbelievable. Through my pain and struggle from enormous changes, the path to him opened up. It was worth every tear, Pat. Don’t be scared. I won’t let go, now that you’re here. And we’re both super clingy! Patcake and Donut all the way. ;)
I just hope for the best this coming month. I have to prove myself worthy of keeping my new job. That’s a lot of pressure! But given what’s happened to me, I’ve proven myself to be a determined creative. I survived the worst days, and I hope the best ones are yet to come! I’m fighting for my happiness in all areas of my life. My life threw me lemons, and I made orange juice! Even I don’t know how exactly that happened!!! WTF HAHAHAHAHA.
Donna, you go gurl~
Huhu it’s so weird I’m talking to myself. But I can’t help it!
I’m just so proud of myself, that I had strength I didn’t know I had all along.
Now, let’s continue to fight for the future!
Falling.
I can’t sleep again. But this time, I think it’s the realization that, yes this is it. I am falling again, and it feels like a dream. This is amazing. I didn’t think this was possible. That he was possible. But I’m so scared. I don’t wanna get hurt anymore. Last time someone promised me that, that someone hurt me in the deepest, most profound way possible that it changed me physically/emotionally into this me that I could best describe as Donna 2013 2.0. Even my weight is the same at 119 lbs. I haven’t been this skinny since that time. I’m in danger of not eating enough and skipping meals, so he’s been trying to get me to eat good food. He knows the trauma. -inner monologue- Anyway, here we go again, Donna. You survived 2 months keeping busy. And now your 11:11 wish was answered really quite fast. He is here for you. Why should you think that he’s gonna be like the rest? Recently he has shown you that he’s more than capable. He is a sharer, sweet, expressive, extroverted, and passionate. So why are you so scared? There’s nothing to hold you back, and he is unlike anyone you ever met. He is actually what you wanted in the first place. You have a lot to express and so does he. I think you will be happy with him.You are in good hands.