#pathalogical demand avoidance

[unknowablevoid]

need things i can do to ease my pda autism flareup but if you tell me what to do im gonna be mad at you and not do it so that doesnt really work

[bishiglomper]

I wonder if PDA stems from the whole autism's "but why" issue. Like we gotta know why. For what reason. What is the point.

I want a "but for why" pin now

I wonder if those would sell if I made some

[bishiglomper]

And another thing!!

Dad once tried to get me to do my GED by buying a drawing tablet. I desperately wanted one.

That just made me resent the whole situation harder.

It stayed in the closet for almost a decade. At that point mom was like fuck it. (Had had left several years prior lol)

Aaaaaa

[bishiglomper]

I have made another PDA realization

Came across a post about not having any plans for the future and I remember being asked if I wanted to be an artist like of course not, that would undoubtedly take the joy out of it

Oh maybe the reason I have too much anxiety over taking a commission or taking money before completion is because of the whole expectation of it. Like I'm always worried I'll hit a block and not bring myself to finish something but I guess that stems from a PDA aspect....

Might also explain how I get around to doing chores. If I think about it I can't do it, if I just find myself doing it with no thoughts I can.

Sigh.

Well. That's annoying.

[trickibe]

pda's a pain

[glitchmeharder]

Persistent Drive for Autonomy

Aka Pathological Demand Avoidance

Aka, the toddler in my brain that throws fits

I forgot how to do page breaks so u get to suffer. Sorry

Yeah so ive heard that autistics mirror other peoples moods, its like our nervous system trying to regulate itself (?close but dont quote me). but with PDA, not mirroring someone can be a demand. So if im upset and out of spoons, and my pda bestie is the same, we are gonna make eachother worse. And i cant stop cause im out of spoons to deal with demands. Its bad bro, i wanna gnaw off my arm (not for attention i think but so the mood will change) because someone thats upset is like a threat to my being. Its not always that way. But ive been over my head, over exerting my demands to the MAX since August. And i uh think i broke myself for a while. But i dont have the luxury to stop. I dont get to "take a break" or "lessen demands" i end up calling upon my inner abusive boomer to say "suck it tf up". But im running out if suction power.