#patiencewearingthin

[fatinrosnan]

Patience is wearing thin

[notbobski]

Don’t you just hate when certain people have the ability to easily alter your mood. Like why would you even want to do that? I’m such a dope guy when I’m happy.

[mykastory]

We were going good for a while.. Spent a lot of time together and it seemed like things were getting back on track..

And then there was the trip to jejudo..

He had to go to jeju for business and had free board there so I went too and we spent the whole week together..

It was amazing..

We spent so much time together, having fun and just enjoying each others’ company..

It was like a peek into what our future would be like together..

But then coming back was a harsh snap back to reality...

Back to the 연락 잘 안하는... busy doing his own thing...

한편으로는 I don’t blame him.. 내가 너무 잘해줘서 그럴 수도 있고.. 편해서 그럴 수도 있고.. 이유는 많지..

But I HATE HATE HATE being put on the back burner....

Yesterday, he texted me right before he got off, saying

“I was gonna stop by after work but they keep asking to drink.. wanna join?”

“didn’t u drive?”

“yeah but I said no too many times...”

“직원들이랑 마셔요”

“네...”

Told him to stop by afterwards if he ended early but he just went home and texted me at 3...

This morning we were talking and he was explaining himself about yesterday, saying how N, this girl at work, keeps asking him to drink but he keeps saying no and feels bad..

Don’t take me wrong, I’m not threatened by her, but I know he gets a kick out of how these little girls follow him around.

But I got annoyed cuz I felt like he was 변명해ing and giving excuses..

Anyway, he was saying how something always comes up when he tries to come see me..

I told him that things always come up, it’s just that he always makes the decision to choose the other thing over me..

그리고 진짜 생각해보니까 맞는 말이더라고..

It’s usually

“gotta wake up early tomorrow” (for work stuff)

so he goes home

If it’s not that it’s

“omg i’m too tired today”

If it’s not those two, then he considers coming over..

But then there’s the constant temptation of coworkers asking him to drink after work..

He’ll usually always say no if the reason is the first two..

But he never puts coming to see me before saying yes to his coworkers..

Am I justified in being bothered by this?

Yesterday after that happened, I got upset and decided to write him a letter telling him all these things.. how I feel..

He’s been talking about writing me a letter but still hasn’t so I figured maybe this’ll be a catalyst to make him write me one back..

Still hesitating whether or not I should give him the letter..

그냥 분위기 봐서 줄려고...

Also thinking maybe if he comes over tonight I will..

But then again, he has tomorrow off so he probably won’t..

Ugh

My patience is wearing thin...

[blackdutchessmaiden]

Feeling Useless

In that odd transition between school and work, there is a lot that can be done. Will I venture to do those things? I answer yes, but in truth only so much can be done. The capacity that I have is great, but my mood tends to bring me down. A week or two waiting for work nearly killed me; I thought a whole month had gone by. Now I am slowly coming back to life, as I fall in and out of my lazy/waiting stupor. The closer I get to employment, the more fed up I become. Does anybody else have that problem?