#patrcolus

[meringue-fish]

Patroclus: Someone will die. Achilles: Of fun!

[meringue-fish]

Patroclus: Okay, please help me! Agamemnon Got two words for you. Patroclus: I bet they won't be helpful. Agamemnon: Your problem. Patroclus: I was right

[meringue-fish]

Patroclus, talking to Achilles on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Achilles: You bet! Patroclus: At what temperature? Achilles: 535. Patroclus: That's the clock. Achilles: Patroclus: Achilles: 536.

[meringue-fish]

Achilles: Patroclus! My face is on fire! Patroclus: Achilles! Are you ok?! Achilles: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Patroclus: But your face is on fire. Achilles: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

[meringue-fish]

Patroclus: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Achilles: That's why I carry two swords.

[meringue-fish]

Odysseus: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Patroclus: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Achilles: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Agamemnon: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Patrcolus: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

[cozycoves]

“𝙷𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚏 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚢“-𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝙰𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚜

[drumminsheep]

madeline miller had patroclus describe achilles' skin as 'the color of freshly pressed olive oil' or something and I think about it a lot