Maybe I became a artist, because a childhood friend never let me play with the wartoys from his big brother. His family had fair wagons, so he had huge piles of war toys. Like chests full of military vehicles, cannons, trucks, keeps, planes, ship, tanks with in all kinds of size, quality, painted, high quality scale models, cheap plastic toy quality, real good play toy quality, in painted, in unpainted, overwhelming. I was never allowed playing with them. Maybe he saw me being a risk stealing them. The word ‘ claus ‘ with in German language implies stealing/ to nick/
Taking away. So he was full filling his honour deed to his absent brother being inspired by name, guarding, taking care of. It inspired me escaping in my own creative dream world supported by books, comics, playing with in nature with having less/ nothing, making things out of less, imagining things. At a certain point I was realizing especial when sketching, drawing that i then was closer connecting with things like computergames, narratives, then just consuming them. Especial when parallel listening to audio. I am still remembering that some tanks where handpainted. Not like from a skilled master scale modeler, just from a kid. I guess these little easy to over see unplanned details are stepping stones of influence. Before I met my friend, I had already a natural I interests in tanks. I remember a conversation in the first days kindergarten that the best German tanks were Panther, Tiger, Kingtiger, Leopard 2, Gepard. Our Kindergarten looked like regelbau Bunker complex, a 1960s/ 70s brutalism Investment architectural sin. My 3 favourite stuffed cuddle animals being a panther, leopard, and a teddy bear which I learned thru my exgirl 30 years later had the same name like a axis supportive tank. Maybe that’s why my art has a natural masculine machismo flair/ streak.