do you have any info into how the washington's treated their children or how they were as parents? both biological (in martha's case) and their grandkids?
also, how did they react to the deaths of patsy and jack?
Yes, I do, but it's unfortunately not very satisfactory.
George and Martha were pretty traditional parents. George loved Martha's kids as his own, but she had primary control over their discipline. George, however, did have a say, especially with Jacky. He pushed Jacky to get his formal education, and reminded him to focus on it when he wanted to get married young. We don't have as much information on Patsy. Generally, they were very affectionate, but George tended to play bad-cop, just because he was very strict in general.
They raised their grandkids, specifically Eleanor (Nelly) and George Washington Parke Custis (Washy), as their own children, though of course not entirely. Again, they were very affectionate, and loved their grandchildren greatly. They were very proud parents and grandparents.
The deaths of Patsy and Jacky devastated them both. In the final months of Patsy's life, George did everything he could to improve her health. Because healthcare was what it was at the time, there wasn't much knowledge about how to treat seizures, which is what Patsy suffered from. They tried many different treatments, to no avail, and George spent a large amount of money attempting to help her.
"...this Sudden, and unexpected blow, I scarce need add has almost reduced my poor Wife to the lowest ebb of Misery; which is encreas’d by the absence of her Son (whom I have just fixed at the College in New York, from whence I returnd the 8th Instt) and want of the balmy Consolation of her Relations; which leads me more than ever to wish she could see them, and that I was Master of Arguments powerful enough to prevail upon Mrs Dandridge to make this place her entire, & absolute home." -George Washington to Burwell Bassett, June 20, 1773
There is very little mention of George's thoughts after Jacky's death, but I believe that is due to the circumstances. Jacky died during the war, when Washington's time for writing personal letters was limited, and he didn't have time to focus on his grief. Additionally, Martha burned much of their correspondence for privacy, so it is likely that his comment on Jacky's death was contained within those. I have no difficulty saying that Jacky's death was just as painful for George and Martha as Patsy's was.
A majority of my information on the Washingtons comes from Mount Vernon and the sources they provide. Here is their collection on Washington's entire family if you want more detail on the children/grandchildren. I hope this was helpful. Thank you for the ask!!
