Thanks for the prompts! Shaelin Cadash x Sera for @tevivinter @pedlimwen @contreparry @dadrunkwriting
“Holy shite! You are one hard dwarf to find!” Sera’s voice rang out in the dusty, previously quiet library in the depths of Skyhold, and Shaelin flinched. “It took me ages to find you. I even missed lunch!”
Shaelin, sitting with her knees up against her chest on the floor, mostly hidden behind the large tome in the center of the room, just curled into herself even more and avoided the elf’s gaze.
Sera plopped herself down next to her. “What are you even doing hiding down here anyway? You’re not even reading. And it’s so dusty in here, what’s the point?” She coughed for good measure and Shaelin’s hands clenched into fists.
“Leave me alone, Sera. Please.”
“Yeah, fat chance of that.” Shaelin didn’t have to look to know Sera was rolling her eyes. “All that time searching and asking around? The amount of stairs I had to climb just to see if you were on the ramparts? No, I think I earned some kind of explanation. At the least, you owe me lunch on top of everything else. So come on. Out with it. What are you doing here?”
Shaelin squeezed her eyes shut and flinched away when Sera’s shoulder nudged into her side.
“Because it looks to me a lot like hiding. But that’d be ridiculous. What does the Great Hairy-Eyeball Herald have to hide from? Besides Cassandra if she’s pissed. But she seemed fine when I asked her where you were. Actually. She almost looked worried. Think she’d been looking for you too.”
Shaelin bit at her lip, only briefly tempted to respond.
“Or maybe it was another lecture from Josie you were trying to avoid? She ran into me and asked where you were. She said you had missed this morning’s war table meeting. I’d understand if you were scared of Leliana because of that, but I don’t think you could get on her bad side, even if you tried. And we all know Cullen doesn’t have the balls to yell at you.”
Sera nudged her in the side again and Shaelin almost slumped against the elf.
“Come on, you know I’ll just keep asking about every single person in the Inquisition until you—”
“Well isn’t it already obvious? I’m not exactly a lot of people’s favorite person right now. Okay?” Shaelin almost growled out the admission and immediately regretted it. She could see Sera’s ears flatten ever so slightly at her raised voice in the corner of her eye, and she caved. “I just...needed to get away for a bit. It’s been one screw-up after another lately and if one more person looks at me with disappointment, I swear I’m just gonna—”
She stopped herself from finishing the sentence but it didn’t really matter, Sera caught on anyway. “You wouldn’t. We need you. Running away from a fight, giving up before it’s done, that’s not you.”
“What makes you so sure?” Shaelin shot back and turned to finally look at Sera. “I never wanted any of this, I never woke up one day and decided to join some noble cause. I didn’t ask for people to rely on me, to make decisions that cost lives, to lead a bunch of ragtag zealots! Shit, they don’t need me. They need my arm. Why don’t they just cut it off and attach it to...to...shit, just about anyone else! Then maybe they wouldn’t have some stupid dwarven kid fucking up everything she tries to accomplish! Maybe then the whole world wouldn’t be on the edge of collapse!”
Sera stared back for a moment, her gaze steady and focused. “Pretty sure if that was a thing, Solas would’ve found out a way to do that already. He hates your guts.”
Shaelin huffed and buried her head into her crossed arms, blinking away tears. “How is that helpful?!”
Sera shrugged, and the dwarf could feel the motion against her side as the elf scooched in close. “You didn’t ask for me to be helpful. And anyway. I wouldn’t be too worried about it, Solas is an arsehole. I’d be weirded out if he actually liked you.”
Shaelin couldn’t help the chuckle that rattled through her chest, the sound fighting through her tears so it came out watery and clipped. Sera pressed closer into her side and mirrored her posture, pulling her knees up close to her chest and resting her chin against her crossed arms.
Several moments passed by in relative silence, as Shaelin struggled to even out her breathing and still her trembling limbs. Sera waited and pressed close and eventually, the dwarf had calmed.
“If it makes a difference,” Sera started quietly, her voice tentative and soft around the edges. “You’re still my favorite person. Even when you screw up. Maybe especially then. Know why?” Shaelin took in a breath and steeled herself, glancing over to meet the warm determination in Sera’s gaze. “Because you get up and you keep going. That’s who you are. Because that’s what you choose to do. Every single time you fall down.”