Beef-witted

επικριτική,πικρόχολη, και μοσχαροκέφαλη. Late-thirties. Posting Iliad, Hades, WHA, Mass Effect, and other games that strike my fancy. Header by Pauvre-Lola, pfp by Lady-forest.

[sneakysnekoden]

achilles binding patroclus’ wounds

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[astercrash]

[claracedar]

it is funny to hear that wikipedia is apparently losing site visits to AI because let me tell you wikipedia is not losing site visits from me I am all up in that bitch 24/7 I am reading her down like an enemy I am on wikipedia like white on rice

[baejax-the-great]

Man imagine if this is how we learn that tumblr is dead forever

[baejax-the-great]

I do find this funny just for how obvious and blatant a lie it is

[baejax-the-great]

Man imagine if this is how we learn that tumblr is dead forever

[boiledegghole]

bringing this over from twitter bc this person literally gets it. watching su for the first time i was literally shocked by how wonderfully toxic the yuri was there. thank you women 🙏

[boiledegghole]

THANK YOU WOMEN. god bles

[bigscaryd]

Hyperbonkers Toxically Yuri basically drives the entire show. Pearl/Rose is 60% of Steven's Issues; the first big event episode climaxes with a paean to the power of nontoxic yuri but then ends with other characters EXTREMELY MISSING THE POINT to the point they emit nightmares; there's a whole arc about Pearl repeatedly tricking her friends into a threesome; the movie is the vengeance of a dumped manic pixie clowngirl; and the Diamonds (WD in particular) definitely have some kind of oneesama shit going on.

Pearl/Rose is enough toxic yuri (I will create a new identity for you! I will compel you to keep our secret forever! I will fuck around on you but don't worry I'll always come back to you until haha I kill myself and leave you the baby to raise!!!!!!!!!) for six shows. But it's not a show about emotionally healthy people doing healthy things! Steven repeatedly tries to kill himself!

[bigscaryd]

I also want to point out the het stuff is similarly deranged. Lars/Sophie is "what if the chubby girl fixated on the bad boy who impliedly fucks her on the sly (!!!!!) but is embarrassed to be seen with her and got so frustrated she made a big-deal punk band about it (so she's completely over him when he gets a glow up to UNDEAD CAPTAIN HARLOCK(!!!))" Greg breaks up a 5000 year toxic Yuri situationship by being the scrungliest hair metal guy in history. Steven gets a somewhat-requited crush and Pearl immediately projects her "what if I was a knight and I was willing to put my life on the line for you and it was kind of sexual" deal on to them so hard she creates a child soldier. Then Steven, to prove he's NOT his mom, tries to die for her without letting her die with him and she's so mad about not being allowed to die with him they break up for a bit.

Frankly the sheer density of characters eager to die for each other is somewhat alarming.

[transarsonist]

all of this of course forgetting the one "Stable" relationship is two small lesbians who are so attached at the hip they literally fused into one person, and have their own princess/knight dynamic [wow the diamonds sure love that one, wonder what thats about] and any time they have a MINOR disagreement about a major problem they usually cope by literally exploding apart, doing a shit ton of property damage, and then tearfully fusing right back together again, which is gorgeously juxtaposed by the fact that they can literally see the branching timelines of the future and so can TELL that there is literally no reality where this doesnt happen if they're fucking paying attention. which they usually arent. because they're too busy focusing on keeping steven alive

[parkchanwoohoo]

Genuinely evil and dark-sided to put the periods between the letters in "milf" and "dilf." Like what is M.I.L.F. that is a supervillain organization composed entirely of cougars. Whoa that's a great idea actually post canceled hold on

[yesornopolls]

Have you seen any birds today?

Have you seen any birds today?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 5 hours 22 minutes

[deaddolin]

they thought my pronouns was a credit card.

[baejax-the-great]

[digitalmyyth]

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

[baejax-the-great]

Waited a month for a custom collar for tali and its too big 😭

[roseyxi]

Ough.......... Garrus............

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[yakichoufd]

Qifrey is so done with Beldaruit (he isn't)

[cuppydogshane]

that is actually my main principle of explicit fic is that the personalities stay On during sex.

[yanagiineko]

please don't Yell-da-ruit.

meme template is by @ sweepswoop_ on twtr!

[that-wildwolf]

this is horrible, i need to (remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health) go to omega and become a vigilante