Beef-witted @baejax-the-great - Tumblr Blog

of course you have blue hair and epithets 🙄

cannot figure out where to end this chapter I give UP I give up writing is for chumps

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the slaughter of the suitors” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw that beggar hiding our weapons

My buddy Antinous pacing: Penelope is lying to us

dragon-in-a-fez

the truth is the most discourse poisoned weirdos among us are not even on tumblr at all, they're walking around the physical world acting like normal people until their sleeper activation topic comes up.

when I was in undergrad I had this professor who spontaneously decided in the middle of a class on, as far as I could tell, a completely unrelated topic to go on a bizarre tirade about how human pregnancies are actually 10 months long and saying it's 9 months is a patriarchal attempt to minimise women's suffering. she very confidently justified this by explaining that there are four weeks in a month, so 40 weeks is 10 months.

when someone pointed out that a month (except February) is actually four weeks and two to three days, and that 40 weeks (280 days) is a lot closer to 9 months (275 days) than it is to 10 months (305 days), she told him to stop mansplaining.

then a girl pointed out that the actual length of a typical human pregnancy isn't even 40 weeks, it's 38. I think we all collectively blacked out after that

#when I lived in china #they said pregnancies were ten months long #china has an interesting relationship with the gregorian calendar #basically they use both calendars simultaneously #soem holidays are on the gregorian and some on the lunar #our school year was based on gregorian but like #anyway it was confusing for me as an outsider #and I was like that's weird in the US we only take 9 months #but of course my students were thinking of lunar months #the thing about pregnancy is like #uhhh periods are also on lunar months #generally about 28 days #so like...

thenightling

#hmm #last thing I watched was a documentary about how ebay the company #stalked and threatened this middle aged couple living a normal life #so I guess I could have the job of the couple #which was blogging #or the job of ebay #which is terrorizing average people for literally no reason

autie-j

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

larken-the-skies

It’s like they expect us to just forget their original marketing schemes in favor of more and more money grabs.

triangleguy

my bad. turns off my perpetual motion dog catapulting machine

#after multiple criminal actions #I banned Tali from my bed this morning #which if you asked her #absolutely counts as harming her #she's currently banished to the much inferior sofa #mother is cruel and evil

lux-scriptum

No, you see, I wish to be an author. Not in marketing. Or an influencer. I wish to tell my stories, be told I did a fantastic job, and then go back to my hovel to scribble some more. I am delicate of constitution and awkward in crowds.

#before I learned that being an author is mostly marketing #I also knew I didn't want to be an author because the idea of a book tour is miserable to me #solid pass

3000s

they hate each other.

barin-mclegg

hey bestie you forgot the poll

3000s

oh sorry

would you kill and eat these animals?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 3, 2024

barin-mclegg

I was talking to prev, asshole. The fucking critter-creature-beast poll blog? That person? Don't be a fucking dickhead.

3000s

sorry for being silly on my post it wont happen again

3000s

would you kill and eat @barin-mclegg?

yes

no

Voting ended onOct 9, 2024

cherryspliced

A new friend who knows almost nothing about me just mentioned that she's reading the Iliad for the first time abd she had no way of knowing that she is treading on the edges of my most unhinged form of interest because I'm being sooooo9o normal im normal im normal I care about all of this a normal amount and the intensity of my feelings and opinions are very average and normal

kuttithevangu

People universally seem to parse it as Mean but sometimes what you really, really need to hear is "this is not a socially appropriate thing to say, and you should not have said it"

#I just think we should be mindful on the internet that we are talking to strangers #still thinking about that person who happily told me I was going to get heart disease because I slept badly one night #and I told them that was a remarkably inappropriate thing to say to me #and they said no it's not because it's true #and like yeah I did block them after that lmao like no you can't be going up to people who make a post saying they slept badly #and say 'congrats! you are one step closer to getting heart disease!'#and expect them to think you are a cool and chill person #but lord knows I have been rude to people in my time #and lucky whenever someone kindly explained to me that I was

sluttyquarantinetheory

More games need to let you fuck up your romance entirely. Like truly one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me in a game is Alistair dumping me because i made him king and then like an hour later i was knocking on his door like "hey by the way i need you to fuck Morrigan."

oifaaa

Never getting over how differently howl's moving castle book and movie treat the scarecrow

rosewitchhh-deactivated20211123

DISCUSS

#if my name has ever come up in this game #it was only in a mean way #and I was killed

release-the-sheep

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.

ceeejus

something you almost remember

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