peihuang really is just. a historical court politics cdrama—you got it all: a dashing, courageous, flirtatious general w several accomplishments under his belt & strong morals who isnt looking for romantic relationships or marriage, a quiet wallflower who also has strong morals but keeps her head down despite having every bit of reason to go against the entire royal family (& especially her half siblings), & the tense but respectful bond between them bc he killed her, completely by accident, bc she happened to step up to his bluffing challenge when her coward king of a father never could... & she doesnt hate pei ming for any of it. & he feels guilty for killing her. & theyre coworkers now.
Pei Ming thinking he's making great progress on project 'Peg Me as a Gentleman' because Yushi Huang has been letting him near her domain more often, not realizing the only hoeing around he'll be doing is in the napa cabbage patch because Rain Master doesn't feel like dealing with cutworms.
A WiP means something that I am still actively working on and intend to one day share with everyone... no matter how unlikely that is.
I will not stress that I no longer have access to my laptop, which actually has a lot of my old WiPs. That thing is now a brick, and though I still hope and pray for the data to be retrievable one day, it is what it is.
It doesn't matter if it hasn't been edited!! It's a WiP, you swine! Not ready-to-publish!!!!
Today is YOUR FAVORITE WIP.
₍^. .^₎⟆ ₍^. .^₎⟆ ₍^. .^₎⟆ ₍^. .^₎⟆ ₍^. .^₎⟆
do gods dream of pregnant bellies? (working title)
Fandom: Tian Guan Ci Fu / TGCF / Heaven Official's Blessing
Pairing: Hua Cheng/Xie Lian (Hualian), He Xuan/Shi Qingxuan (Beefleaf), Feng Xin/Mu Qing (FengQing), Quan Yizhen/Yin Yu (QuanYin), Pei Ming/Yushi Huang (PeiHuang), Pei Xiu/Ban Yue
Setting: Post-Canon
Rating: Mature atm
Warnings: Pregnancy, MPreg, Discussions of Abortion, Sex Pollen, Fuck or Die, Foul Language, Graphic Depictions of Violence, probably more
Length: Huge. Long. Way too long. 40+ chapters, probably over 100k. This chapter is 8,609 words.
Summary: When a mysterious force lures all of our heroes to one location and doses them with a potent fertility drug and aphrodisiac, an unexpected baby boom sends the Heavens and Ghost Realm into chaos.
Notes: I've been writing this one foreverrrrr. It's so much, and I think it's a chaotic ridiculous idea but in the best of ways. However, every so often, there's a weird pushback of ewwww pregnant bodies that makes me depressed and sad and kills my motivation because I really don't want any of that smoke, but whatever. I think this is just good ol' shippy fun, old school fandom style. Because it's so self-indulgent, I think that's why it's my favorite, but because it's such a big project and it surrounds a trope that is controversial, idk if I'll ever truly post it. So, hopefully someone enjoys a glimpse into my brain, lol.
Chapter One: no vacancy for single or lonely men
“Gege, did you see who visited our temple in the north?”
Hua Cheng’s voice came through the private communication array Xie Lian shared with his husband. The interruption brought a small smile to his lips. He sat at a table surrounded by other gods serving on the council currently arguing over some sort of land dispute, but frankly, Xie Lian had tuned out several minutes ago. Hearing his husband’s voice was a welcome distraction, especially as General Ming Guang and General Qi Ying began to argue back and forth.
Really, the fact Quan Yizhen showed up at all was a surprise. Even Yushi Huang managed to come to each of these meetings (even better than Xie Lian himself who found these meetings rather… well, boring).
After the fall of the Heavens five years ago, the Heavenly Court was left in shambles. Many wondered who would take the seat of Heavenly Emperor, eyeing the position with greed and want. In the end, it was decided that a council consisting of the winners of the Battle of the Lanterns was the “fairest” form of government they could come up with while they waited to see if mortal perception ever usurped their collective decision. “Fairest” because was anything ever fair when Crimson Rain Sought Flower was involved, even if only tangentially?
Xie Lian brought two fingers up to his temple as subtly as possible. “No, I don’t think I did. Who visited?” He paused, thoughtfully. “Was it the Emperor again?”
Hua Cheng chuckled in response. “He did, as a matter of fact, but he wasn’t who I was speaking of.”
“Hm…” Xie Lian tapped a third finger against his forehead as he thought. “Oh, was it Shi Qingxuan?”
“Mn.” Hua Cheng sounded amused, which was a much better reaction than when Shi Qingxuan first eagerly visited their joint temple in the capital to say hello then subsequently used it for shelter. “They left a prayer just to say hi.”
Xie Lian smiled at that. “I should visit them soon. Would San Lang like to join me?”
“This one always loves to go anywhere with Gege,” Hua Cheng replied.
Xie Lian wasn’t so lovelorn that he didn’t catch the way Hua Cheng never technically said he would enjoy the chance to see the former Wind Master again, but he didn’t push him on it. The knowledge he would have Hua Cheng by his side as he visited their largest temple, one of a blossoming number across the continent at this point, was more than enough to make him happy. He thought of another reason why Hua Cheng may be interested in going: the persistent shadow that they both knew followed Shi Qingxuan everywhere. He was about to ask about it in his communication array when he realized the entire table was staring at him.
Uh-oh.
Xie Lian lowered his hand. “Ah… yes?”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “You weren’t paying attention again, were you?”
“I doubt you want me to answer that,” Xie Lian laughed as he scratched his cheek.
“It’s fine, Your Highness,” Feng Xin interrupted before Mu Qing could respond with more snark. “We were discussing a series of prayers many of us have been receiving that have been quite similar.”
Ling Wen helpfully passed over a stack of prayers, and Xie Lain pulled them closer before plucking out the first one. A little frown touched his lips as his eyes swept across the parchment before he placed the prayer down.
“They’re all similar in story,” Ling Wen informed him even as he grabbed the next prayer in the stack. Typically, reading another god’s prayers was sacrilege, but Xie Lian quickly realized these were all so similar, it really didn’t matter. “Couples disappearing from every region, seemingly without a trace.”
“Have you received any prayers like that?” His Highness Tai Hua asked.
“They don’t sound familiar,” Xie Lian admitted, grabbing a third to verify the pattern with his own eyes. “Let me ask San Lang.”
“By all means,” Pei Ming said, gesturing for him to go ahead.
Less than a decade ago, the thought of any god outright asking to consult with a Ghost King would have been the embarrassment of the century. Even now, some gods still didn’t understand how such a strange slight could get by, as seen by the uncomfortable rustling of some of the newer arrivals in the top ten. However, Xie Lian had grown quite accustomed to not giving a second thought to anyone not worth his time. He brought his fingers back to his temple, re-establishing the connection. He wasn’t at all surprised to find it still up, his husband patiently waiting for him to be done speaking with the other Heavenly Officials before getting back to him.
“San Lang, I have a question,” he said in the communication.
“Gege, you’re back!” Hua Cheng sighed. “You left me waiting for so long.”
Xie Lian bit back the urge to smile. He normally would’ve allowed the lovesick smile to spread across his face without another thought, but he had no desire to put Feng Xin and Mu Qing in a bad mood. They would both instantly know why he was smiling like an idiot and not be able to think of anything else all day. Really, if they would just find something else to obsess over — not that he minded their newly mended friendship.
“It was just a few minutes,” Xie Lian chided gently. “Have we received any prayers pertaining to the disappearance of couples?”
“That was the other part of the former Wind Master’s prayer,” Hua Cheng revealed. “Gege’s so smart to ask.”
Xie Lian frowned. “What exactly did they say?”
“They heard rumors of couples going missing in the town they’re currently in, and they wanted to investigate it since clearly General Ming Guang is absolutely useless,” Hua Cheng gleefully replied.
Xie Lian’s eyes darted toward Pei Ming. He would probably not pass along that little detail. “I see…” He glanced down at the prayer still clutched in his hand before looking up at Ling Wen. “You said the couples disappear without a trace? Do we know anything about the type of entity we may be dealing with here?”
“Unknown,” Ling Wen answered. “The information given is sparse and fragmented at best.”
Something nagged at the back of Xie Lian’s mind, and he struggled to hold onto it. “And we’ve all received such prayers?”
“Not all of us,” Hao Yang, a former minor god who rapidly climbed the ranks, said.
As the god of salt commerce, nobody had ever paid the minor god any mind. He did his duty with his head down, bowing to whatever whims the former Water Master had at the time. Now, without a Water Master around and nobody else who is the pure wealth god, the biggest trade on the continent quickly took its place. All the merchants realized that though the water ways could no longer be prayed to for safe passage, that did not mean the sea could not provide wealth, and turned all of their attention on this minor god. Hao Yang went from ranking 53 the year of Xie Lian’s third ascension to 7th — quite the impressive jump. Xie Lian found the man to be thin-skinned when it came to criticism but otherwise fair to speak with.
“It seems to be only reaching martial gods,” Zhi Rao offered, “which suggests that there are no other warnings before these kidnappings.”
The god of medicine had been ranked 12th before, but now he was in the top 10, sitting comfortably in the 8th spot. He was a kind man, soft-spoken, showing his former cultivation training. He was known as a shaman among the mortals, often depicted as bald and wearing an orange robe, which Xie Lian thought was rather unfair since his hair — while not nearly as glorious as Mu Qing’s, of course — certainly did not deserve to be completely erased from history.
“But for one entity to be attacking mortals across all corners of the continent is unheard of,” Bo Wen said. “Do we even know if they’re all related?”
He tapped the parchment in front of him with his ink pen to a rhythm only he could hear, causing droplets to splatter around him. Ling Wen shot him a look of annoyance, but he did not seem to even notice her glare. As the youngest god in the top 10, Bo Wen was certainly the most juvenile, but as someone who ascended as a civil god through his ability to craft creative stories, he could be entertaining. Xie Lian wasn’t sure what he thought of the fact that a storyteller was now in the top 10, overtaking even His Highness Taihua, to be in the ninth spot. He really hoped the smut being passed around about him and Hua Cheng were not part of his sudden popularity.
“No, we don’t,” Mu Qing said with an eye roll. “That’s why we need to investigate.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” Bo Wen shot back.
“This is a lot of prayers,” Xie Lian interrupted, flipping through a few more in the stack to verify what Ling Wen had said about them all being similar. “I agree with Mu Qing. This warrants investigation, but how should we begin? And what kind of couples are being taken? I’m seeing mentions of wedded couples, betrothed, traveling companions…”
“It’s all over the board,” Feng Xin shared. “There doesn’t seem to be a pattern.”
“We should descend and investigate each of our regions separately,” Pei Ming offered. “There’s no telling where we’ll actually find information.”
“No,” Yushi Huang interrupted.
It wasn’t often Yushi Huang spoke up during these meetings, so the immediate silence followed by the synchronous head swivels to look in her direction were practically expected.
“Lord Rain Master?” Ling Wen prompted.
“You shouldn’t descend alone,” Yushi Huang said. “The entity is after couples. We should investigate in pairs. I will accompany General Ming Guang.”
Pei Ming choked on his spit.
“Not a bad fucking idea,” Feng Xin agreed before he glanced toward Mu Qing. “We’ll take the south together.”
Mu Qing scoffed. “Excuse you?”
“You have a better idea?” Feng Xin shot back.
Mu Qing glared at him but crossed his arms, saying nothing in response. That was practically an agreement for him.
“I’ll have San Lang accompany me,” Xie Lian said with a small concerned smile. He was already thinking of the former Wind Master, knowing he needed to make sure they were okay first and foremost. “And I’ll see if he can spare anybody to help us investigate further. General Qi Ying?”
Quan Yizhen looked up from his spot at the table. A small pout sat on his lips, and Xie Lian almost rescinded the question. He knew his mentioning of his husband probably had the God of the West thinking of Hua Cheng’s most trusted servant. It was a topic everybody knew to avoid when General Qi Ying was around, and even though Xie Lian had not broken that unspoken rule, it was close enough.
“I’ll go alone,” he declared.
Several of the gods at the table opened their mouths to argue, but Quan Yizhen stood without another word and marched out of the Hall. An awkward silence followed his departure before Lang Qianqiu moved to stand, as well.
“I will also go alone,” he said.
He took the time to bow to the group of gathered gods before he turned to leave as well. Ling Wen sighed tiredly.
“I guess we’re done for the day.”
—
The inn on the side of the road was modest, nothing that really caught the eye. The red had long since dulled from weathering, the natural wood peeking through with the promise of splinters along the railing. Shi Qingxuan kept his hands to himself as he hobbled up the three steps toward the faded crimson door. His eyes flickered to the sign hanging off to the left that read: “A Lover’s Respite!”
The priest back in the city hadn’t said much to him. Not that he was surprised. Being Ol’ Feng now, a homeless vagrant who was lucky if he could wash himself in the river, most people didn’t want to converse with him. He missed the lively conversations he used to be able to start so easily up in the Heavens; he missed the feeling of his presence being wanted. But none of that mattered now.
Hobo or not, he was still a former Heavenly Official, damnit! And he was going to help people, whether they wanted him to or not!
(And hopefully, if this turned out to be something that put him in way over his head, His Highness and Crimson Rain would be right behind him… right?
Or maybe… maybe someone else would.)
But what the priest had said was that the missing couples all headed in this direction. The only thing he’d seen during his journey up the mountain after stowing away in some hay bales was this inn in the middle of nowhere. Surely anyone with any sort of business sense would know that building an inn so far from the nearest town was no way to make money.
(He could practically hear his ge’s voice telling him this. He pushed that thought away.)
No, there was definitely something strange about this place.
Hand paused on the door, Shi Qingxuan glanced over his shoulder. As always, there was nothing there despite the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. When the prickling first started, he’d found the sensation to be disturbing at best and terrifying at worst. Now, five years later, the knowledge that something (or someone) was always there was almost a comfort.
He pushed through the door into the lobby of the inn. The red-stained wood continued further in, obscured by a dark embroidered carpet. Shi Qingxuan had definitely seen better-looking inns in his heyday, but for his lifestyle now, this was practically a gilded palace as far as he was concerned. He smiled at the cheesy decor as he marched up to the chipped check-in desk and flicked the bell sitting out.
“Hello, hello!” he called, waving his fan with his good arm toward the back rooms in case anyone were to peek out. “I could use some help out here!”
A puppet glided out from the darkened archway. Shi Qingxuan blinked at the sight, feeling no small amount of doubt at his immediate assessment. The puppet’s movements were janky, the head tilting to the left to such a degree that the former Wind Master knew no neck muscles existed in that husk — which, really, it had to be such a pain. Poor thing. The puppet wore snow white skin and an intricate updo with several decorative combs holding everything in place. Red lipstick made her lips small and heart-shaped with a hanfu that looked both cheap and expensive all at once.
The puppet forced a grin that didn’t meet her beady little eyes. “Greetings. How may I help you?”
Well, Shi Qingxuan thought proudly, found you!
But what to do now that he found the correct place? Should he turn around and walk out? And what if he were wrong? Plenty of ghosts and yao walked amongst the living without causing any harm. Just look at Crimson Rain! Realizing he may have been jumping the gun a bit in his excitement, he schooled his features and tapped his chin with his fan.
“Ah, Nushi, thank Heavens you’re here,” he said, putting on an air of being out of breath. “I have been looking for a place to stay all day. My poor crippled leg is ready to give out on me. May I have a room for the evening?”
The puppet’s eyes slid from Shi Qingxuan’s face to looking behind him. He resisted the urge to look himself. The hair on the back of his neck wasn’t standing on end, so he didn’t think he had a shadow at the moment, but how was he to know? Her eyes returned to his face.
“Are you alone?” she asked.
“Just me!” he said brightly.
Her smile fell back to neutral. “No vacancy.”
Shi Qingxuan startled. “No vacancy? But all your keys are still present!”
He pointed at the row of room keys dangling from the wall behind her. She did not even turn to look, simply continued to stare him down.
“Those rooms are for couples,” she responded. “Not for single lonely men. Get lost.”
Shi Qingxuan’s jaw dropped. “Lonely!? Who said I’m lonely!? I’ll have you know—!”
Before his rant could continue, he felt himself get caught by an invisible force, launching him from the inn. He yelped as he sailed through the air, twisting to try to catch himself before he hit the dirt. His lone remaining hand reached out, sending a quick prayer that it wouldn’t break on impact, as his amputated nub automatically did the same. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the impact — and landed, roughly but not painfully, in someone’s arms.
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes opened, confused, and found himself staring at a fishbone necklace. A chill ran down his spine. The arms encircling his torso held strong, making sure he didn’t hit the ground even as he felt himself far too frozen to get even his good leg underneath him. His heart hammered in his chest. He’d always known… always suspected… but he never imagined what it would be like to suddenly have him here, in front of him, again.
His gaze slowly rose to look up into Black Water Sinking Ship’s impassive face. His brother’s murderer. He Xuan.
(He Xuan. He Xuan. He Xuan. He would never forget that name for as long as he lived.)
He Xuan’s lip curled upward into something close to a sneer. “What are you doing?”
“I…”
He Xuan jerked his body upward, forcing Shi Qingxuan’s legs underneath him. “Stand up straight.”
Remembering how to stand again, Shi Qingxuan did just that, even as his knees knocked together. He wished they would stop. It made it very hard to stand up tall and not look terrified. Or like he had to pee. Which he did suddenly. How unfortunate.
When Shi Qingxuan took too long to respond, He Xuan spoke again, “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Um, haha…” He scratched the side of his head with his fan, mercifully having managed to hold onto it during the whole supernatural push business. “Well, there’s been couples going missing, and I—”
“So?” He Xuan cut him off. “What does that have to do with you? You’re not a Heavenly Official. You don’t have any spiritual power. You don’t even have two working legs. What do you think you’re doing?”
Shi Qingxuan’s face colored as his terror was replaced with indignation. He poked He Xuan in the chest with his fan. “I’ll have you know, I’m helping!”
He Xuan looked from the fan to Shi Qingxuan’s face. “Helping?”
Shi Qingxuan saw the way He Xuan’s eyes glanced over the rest of him, and he didn’t have to guess to know what he thought. His clothes were ragged, his feet practically bare because the soles of his shoes were worn through, his hair was unwashed and unbrushed, he was covered in the filth of sleeping outside for weeks on end, one leg was always slightly crooked nowadays, and one of his arms was cut off at the elbow from when his hand started to turn black. He knew what he looked like. He didn’t need a Ghost King to tell him anything about it, thank you!
“Yes!” Shi Qingxuan sniffed, lifting his chin. “Helping! I’m investigating, and whatever I discover, I report back to His Highness.”
“Right.” He Xuan pushed the fan aside with two fingers. “So, you’re wasting your time.”
“I—!” Shi Qingxuan raged, stomping his foot, before he turned on his heel to march back toward the inn. “I. Am. HELPING.” He reached the red door and moved to push it open again, only to find it locked. He tried again. “Huh?? It was just open!”
“You were kicked out,” He Xuan pointed out. “This place isn’t normal. You’re not going to be able to just walk right back in.”
“Shut up!” Shi Qingxuan snapped as he hobbled around the inn, trying to find a window or something else to climb in. Even if it would be difficult. He refused to give up — not in front of him. “I don’t need your help!”
“I thought you were helping,” He Xuan mocked quietly.
He found a red partitioned window and tried to pull it open, only for it to remain staunchly sealed. The next window remained the same. He heard He Xuan slowly walking up behind him, but he refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back. Of seeing his gloating expression. Of… of…
What?
Shi Qingxuan’s shoulders dropped. “If you’re not going to help, just go away,” he whispered. “Don’t stand there laughing at me.”
“I’m not laughing,” He Xuan said. “And you’re not going to get in that way.”
He grabbed Shi Qingxuan by the shoulder and turned him back toward the front of the inn before giving him a rough shove between his shoulder blades. For half a second, he thought about turning around and yelling at He Xuan for shoving around a disabled person — before he recognized the empowering warmth spreading through his body, all the way down to his fingertips. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in so long. He looked back, confused as to why He Xuan would give him spiritual power.
He Xuan dodged his gaze, staring at the inn instead. “The face you’re wearing now was rejected. Perhaps change and try again?”
A flutter of excitement hit Shi Qingxuan’s belly as he realized what He Xuan was saying. It had been years since he used the transformation spell, but it had always been his favorite. The first one he learned after earning his spiritual weapon. It was the one that he most missed in his mortal life even while he convinced himself he didn’t miss a thing, that he could handle this. He took a deep breath and drew his fan up his body before he allowed the magic to settle over him.
Like greeting an old friend, Shi Qingxuan smiled as she opened her eyes. Though shorter and softer, with the same bum leg and missing arm, she felt more herself than she had in years. She had to bite her bottom lip to keep the gratitude from spilling out — After all, it was He Xuan’s fault she and this form had to part to begin with. She wouldn’t forget that just because he did something nice!
“Good.”
He Xuan turned as if he were going to walk off, but Shi Qingxuan surged forward to catch his arm. She flicked open her fan, feeling it vibrate between her fingers as it responded to her new deposit of spiritual energy, and grinned up at the startled-looking calamity.
“Nuh-uh,” she said, starting to drag him back toward the inn. “She said only couples could check in, so I guess you’re my date.”
“I didn’t agree to this!” he snapped.
And yet, he didn’t try to pull away even as he was pulled inside.
—
The capital took minimal damage in the fight against Jun Wu despite his attempt to assault the citizens with the Human-Faced Disease. Shi Qingxuan’s efforts along with that of Heaven’s Eye saved the city from a terrible fate, and even now, five years later, Xie Lian could barely see any signs of the near catastrophe. He sighed happily as he walked through the streets, Hua Cheng at his side.
“What’s Gege smiling about?” Hua Cheng asked.
Realizing he’d indeed been smiling randomly, Xie Lian covered his mouth briefly with his sleeve before he dropped his hand. “It’s just a lovely day, that’s all.” He cleared his throat. “Was San Lang able to send out any other help to aid us in the investigation?”
Hua Cheng smiled lightly, his hands clasped behind his back. He wore a youthful boyish appearance today, a high ponytail in a red ribbon with a mischievous glint constantly shining in dark eyes. As always, this form was just as beautiful as every other one Xie Lian had ever had the pleasure of seeing. “And here I thought Gege was just happy to be this one’s presence again after being held hostage by that trash up in the Heavens.”
“San Lang!”
He sighed dramatically before finally answering, “I’ve got Yin Yu on it, and Ban Yue heard the Lord Rain Master mobilized Pei Xiu, so she ran to his side.”
“Oh, Ban Yue’s helping?” Xie Lian asked, surprised. “I hope she doesn’t get into too much trouble.”
“Don’t worry, Gege. She’s stronger than she seems,” his husband reassured him.
They turned the corner, and Xie Lian’s breath caught. Though he had heard of the desecration of the Temple of Jun Wu followed by the furious building of the Temple of the Scrap Immortal and Ghost King, he had yet to see it in person. The building was beautiful, nearly putting the temple in Hua Cheng’s Ghost City to shame. (Nearly.) Large white columns welcomed visitors in to walk through red translucent curtains that fluttered in the breeze. A crowd of visitors eagerly waited outside, filing in one at a time as people slowly exited.
This close, Xie Lian could feel the little trickles of power literally trailing off of the temple. It left his heart racing and his fingers tingling. Even though he knew he shouldn’t, they were in public after all, he couldn’t resist the sudden urge to reach out and take his husband’s hand.
“San Lang!” he gasped. “It’s magnificent.”
Hua Cheng smiled smugly. “Indeed. It’s not so bad. Does Gege want to see the inside?”
“Very much!”
The two of them marched, hand-in-hand, past the group of waiting mortals to enter the temple. Xie Lian felt a little bad skipping the line, but he figured since they weren’t going to stay long (and they were here on Heavenly business), it didn’t matter. That didn’t stop his eyes from eagerly taking in the sights awaiting him inside, starting with the gorgeous statue greeting them right at the entrance. A Crown Prince stood, regal and breathtaking, with a sword in one hand and his other — an empty palm extended toward the Ghost King, kneeling next to him, as he presented him with a flower. The craftsmanship was nowhere near Hua Cheng’s (whose was?), but Xie Lian instantly knew whomever had carved this statue beheld great skill.
“Beautiful,” Xie Lian breathed.
Hua Cheng stared at the statue distastefully. “Gege’s nose isn’t right.”
“San Lang!”
Before he’d get the bright idea to try to fix it, Xie Lian tugged him further inside. There were so many people within the temple itself that they were practically stepping over kowtowing worshippers everywhere they turned. Xie Lian’s eyes scanned the temple interior, wall-to-wall, trying to catch sight of his familiar friend or even a dark shadow, but nothing caught his eye. He frowned.
“I don’t see Shi Qingxuan.” He looked up at his husband. “Is Black Water around?”
Hua Cheng’s single eye scanned the area before he gave a little shake of his head. “Not that I see, Gege. Give me a moment, and I’ll ask him where they are.”
Xie Lian waited patiently as his husband brought two fingers to his temple to contact his colleague. As he waited, he surveyed the worshippers, taking in the prayers like shots of caffeine every time someone lit an incense stick or kowtowed before the many different depictions of the Scrap Immortal and the Ghost King. A priest walked by in white, and Xie Lian figured he might as well be useful before hurrying to his side.
“Daozhang!” he called brightly to get his attention.
The priest turned toward him and paused, surprised. His eyes ran over his own white cultivator robes before he gave a bow in greeting. “Daozhang.”
“I was wondering — have you heard any strange rumors lately?” Xie Lian asked.
Suspicion crossed the priest’s face. “What kind of strange rumors?”
Xie Lian smiled kindly. “The kind of the worrisome or troublesome nature. I am a wandering cultivator, looking to help. Have you, perhaps, heard anything of couples going missing?”
“You are the second person to ask me that,” the priest admitted, partially under his breath, “but at least you’re slightly better dressed than the one before.”
Feeling a surge of excitement (and offense on his friend’s behalf), Xie Lian continued, “Better dressed, you say? Was this other person perhaps a vagrant of the streets?”
“They certainly smelled like it,” the priest complained.
“And what did you tell this person?”
“Same thing I’ll tell you,” the priest said, lifting his nose in the air. “If couples are going missing, it’s not anything you can help with. Only the gods could assist in something powerful enough to make two people vanish into thin air at once.”
“And what tells you that we aren’t messengers from the Heavens, hm?” Hua Cheng asked, joining Xie Lian’s side with impeccable timing, as always.
The priest didn’t seem to immediately have an answer for that. He fumbled over his words for a moment before saying, “Someone from the Heavens wouldn’t have to ask!”
“Ah, I see,” Hua Cheng said in a fake understanding tone. “You’re under the impression that the gods are omniscient and not useless trash. That’s your first mistake.”
Xie Lian laughed awkwardly. “Being omniscient would certainly help in this case!” He cleared his throat. “Ah, Daozhang, one more question. This… smelly person, when did you last see them?”
“Sometime last night,” the priest answered. He took a half-step away from Hua Cheng who was still staring him down. “I told him the couples have been going missing in the northern mountain pass, and that was the last I saw of him. He probably went chasing after them, thinking he was some sort of hero, and got himself killed.”
Xie Lian’s body stiffened as his smile tightened. “Well, let’s hope not. Thank you, Daozhang.”
Long after the priest walked away, Hua Cheng’s glare had not let up. “Gege, I don’t like him.”
“Me either,” he admitted quietly, starting to pick his way back out of the temple, “but we don’t really have much say over who works at our temples.”
“Perhaps not who gets hired,” Hua Cheng said easily, “but surely we have a say over who gets to stay. I think he deserves a nightmare or two or three hundred.”
Maybe Xie Lian should have curbed this idea since the priest had only been a little rude, but he laughed into his sleeve instead as they headed in the direction of the mountain pass. Remembering why it had taken a moment for Hua Cheng to join him in the conversation to begin with, he turned toward his husband, “Oh, San Lang, did you speak with Black Water?”
Hua Cheng hesitated.
Xie Lian’s cheeks colored. “Ah! Sorry, sorry. If you can’t tell me, it’s okay. I know the two of you have an understanding—”
“No, that’s not it, Gege,” Hua Cheng said. “I promise to tell Gege everything, even my dealings with Black Water. I only hesitate, because he never answered.”
Xie Lian stared up at him. “He ignored you?”
“I don’t think so,” Hua Cheng said. “I’m quite used to Black Water ignoring me. This felt more like… something was stopping me from getting through.”
“Getting through?” Xie Lian repeated. “Like what?”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t like it.”
Doe eyes scanned the street they walked on, suddenly feeling very much more on guard. They were still deep within the capital, but a strange chill came over him. Black Water was a devastation-level Ghost King, the same as Hua Cheng. If something was stopping the two calamities from speaking, that was a truly terrifyingly strong spell. Feeling a little paranoid, Xie Lian brought two fingers up to his temple to attempt to connect to his private communication array.
Unsurprisingly, Feng Xin responded right away. “Yes, Your Highness? Is everything okay? Do you need something?”
Xie Lian smiled fondly to himself. “Yes, yes, everything’s fine. I was just checking the connection. How is the investigation going?”
“Checking the connection?” Mu Qing interrupted the private conversation, and Xie Lian couldn’t say he was exactly surprised. He could just imagine Mu Qing immediately jamming his fingers into Feng Xin’s forehead the second he saw him connecting to their array. “Why?”
“No reason, no reason!” Xie Lian said.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to inform Feng Xin and Mu Qing about what was going on, but this situation really didn’t have anything to do with them. They knew Xie Lian still kept in contact with Shi Qingxuan; they had even seen the former Wind Master themselves a few times though the visits were always rather awkward. However, they knew nothing about Xie Lian’s tangential connection to Black Water or that he was always lurking around wherever Shi Qingxuan could be found. He wanted to keep it that way. It would be way too complicated to explain it otherwise.
“Don’t fucking listen to him,” Feng Xin said. “We just left one of our temples with information, and we’re going into a forest where the last couple to go missing in the south was last seen. We’ll let you know if we find anything.”
“And you better do the same!” Mu Qing added.
“Of course!” Xie Lian said. “Good luck!”
Letting out a sigh, Xie Lian dropped his fingers. Sometimes, talking to those two was a seesaw of emotions, but it didn’t stop the warmth blossoming in his chest. He looked over at Hua Cheng, who’d been watching the silent conversation the entire time they walked toward the gates of the city. Not wanting him to feel left out, Xie Lian reached out to link arms.
“The communication arrays are still working,” he informed him, “so if there’s a block, it seems to only be affecting Black Water.”
Hua Cheng smiled down at him. “Gege’s so smart.”
Xie Lian laughed, knowing he was being teased. “San Lang is too insincere.”
“Me? Never!”
Xie Lian huffed, but he couldn’t even pretend to be mad. How could he ever be mad at the man that reminded him everyday to live? He snuggled into his side, enjoying the way Hua Cheng’s expression softened at the display of affection, and enjoyed the rest of their walk out of the capital.
—
“Pei Xiu-gege!” Ban Yue called as she hurried forward.
Pei Xiu paused on his trek, turning to look over his shoulder. His impassive face didn’t reveal much at first glance, but as Ban Yue drew closer, she knew she wasn’t imagining the softness in his expression. It filled her with warmth, and her smile grew wider as she slowed to his side.
“Ban Yue,” he greeted quietly.
“I heard Lord Rain Master sent you out,” Ban Yue explained, “and Hua Chengzhu gave me permission to come assist. Is that alright?”
“Of course,” he said. “It’s been a while. Is Ghost City treating you well?”
They walked side-by-side up the cart-driven road. The dirt kicked up under her feet, but this far north, the sun wasn’t too much of a bother. She was rather used to wind and sand, so even the slight chill in the air was nothing to her. Her cloak billowed out behind her as they walked, and she took the opportunity to regard her friend’s appearance.
Jun Wu’s fall did not immediately absolve Pei Xiu of his banishment. Though the reminder of his loss of godliness constantly acted as an ache in Ban Yue’s chest, he didn’t seem any worse for the wear. Technically, the banishment was from the Heavens, so when he turned out to be a rather hard worker who did not shy away from menial tasks, the Rain Master saw no reason not to make him a Deputy Official. Though he still teetered on that edge between mortal and immortal, Ban Yue was glad to see that her friend seemed as healthy and strong as ever (and not a day older).
“Very!” Ban Yue said with a smile. “It’s nice being near General Hua again. Chengzhu also isn’t as scary as everyone says, and Yin-qianbei has been very nice, teaching me everything about working at Paradise Manor. Plus, it’s never daylight in Ghost City, which is nice after being in the sun so much back in Banyue.”
A strange expression crossed Pei Xiu’s face, and Ban Yue felt a little bad. She tried hard not to speak of her place of death when in his presence, because she knew it tore him up inside. No matter how many times she told him it was her own choice, he never quite was able to let go of the guilt. She understood that, though. She would probably never be able to fully forgive herself either.
She held onto the hem of her sleeves with both hands. “Do you still like working for Lord Rain Master?”
“Lord Rain Master is very kind and forgiving,” Pei Xiu answered, “but… her work can be tedious.”
He missed being a martial god. Ban Yue didn’t need to ask to know. She could see the way his hand remained on the hilt of his blade as they walked, the way his eyes darted left to right. There was an excitement to his movements that wasn’t usually there, not when she also lived in Yushi, caring for the crops. This was Pei Xiu back in his element. She smiled to herself at the sight.
“At least you’re out doing something else now,” Ban Yue said instead.
“Mn.”
Ban Yue’s arm shot out to stop Pei Xiu from taking another step. Her eyes narrowed at the innocent-looking inn ahead, her ghostly core practically vibrating as it reacted to the excess amounts of Yin energy wafting off of the place. Pei Xiu didn’t even have to glance at her to know where she was looking; he took a step closer to her, placing his body slightly in front.
“Cursed?” he asked.
“No,” she said with a frown, “but… not natural. An illusion, maybe.”
“Should we enter?”
Ban Yue felt a flutter of pride that he was asking her before being hit with a wave of insecurity. She bit the inside of her lip. She didn’t want to make the wrong call here, but she knew inaction would probably be the worst of all the actions she could make. Taking a deep breath, she nodded.
“General Hua would enter,” she declared.
“Then we enter,” he agreed.
Together, they walked up the rest of the road toward the inn. She glanced toward a sign mentioning lovers before quickly looking away, ignoring the way her cheeks warmed at the word. She would simply not think about it. Not now. Not ever. Inside, the lobby was sparsely lit with haphazardly placed sconces and firelight. Most of the shades were drawn over the window, making it difficult to discern the time of day.
(Just the way a ghost would like it, Ban Yue realized.)
Before they even approached the desk, a pale woman walked in from the backroom. She wore an eerie smile as she hurried up to them.
“Welcome. Are you interested in our Lover’s Suite?” she inquired.
They glanced at each other before quickly looking away, blushing.
Pei Xiu cleared his throat. “No, thank you. Two rooms, please.”
“One room only,” the attendant said. “Last one left. Lover’s Suite.”
Ban Yue tilted her head confused as she stared at the keys behind her. “But there are so many keys—”
“One room only,” the attendant repeated. “Last one left. Lover’s Suite.”
They glanced at each other again before quickly away once more, blushing even harder than before.
“We’ll take it,” Pei Xiu said, his voice hitching.
“Perfect. Here you go,” the attendant said. “Don’t miss curfew. Enjoy your stay.”
“Curfew?” Ban Yue asked, but the attendant had already turned and disappeared back into the darkness of the backrooms.
She turned to look at Pei Xiu who was staring very intently down at the key in his hand. Noticing her staring, he glanced toward her before turning an even darker shade of red. He stiffly turned away and led her toward the stairs. Ban Yue trailed after him.
“You can have the bed,” he said over his shoulder.
“Thank you.”
—
As they approached the gates heading north, Xie Lian spotted an ox cart leaving at the same time, and he excitedly dragged his husband over to it.
“Does San Lang remember?” Xie Lian asked eagerly.
Hua Cheng stared at him with love. “How could this one ever forget?”
The expression was so open and genuine, Xie Lian blushed under the guise. He quickly paid the cart driver a few coins before the married couple crawled into the back to begin the rickety journey into the mountains. The ox cart driver was a jovial fellow, happy to speak about all manner of topics, which Xie Lian happily listened to. He could see Hua Cheng growing a little annoyed by the incessant talking, but his husband luckily kept his mouth shut, which was for the best. After all, traversing the entire mountain pass on foot would have taken much longer than Xie Lian wanted to spend on this, especially with so many people missing.
“Does Gege like the scenery?” Hua Cheng asked from his place to his left.
Xie Lian hadn’t even realized that he’d been admiring the view until his husband spoke. He was certain he’d been holding a conversation with the ox driver as well, and he must have just zoned out. How embarrassing. His cheeks colored, and he glanced toward their driver who was no longer paying them any mind. Xie Lian sighed as he rubbed at his forehead. He’d been trying so hard to give a good impression for his husband’s sake, and here he was the one being rude.
Still, now that he no longer had to entertain the ox driver, he saw no need to lie to Hua Cheng. The cart bumped and shook as it took them along a rural path along the side of a mountain overlooking a vast expanse of forests. The sky had turned an attractive shade of pink as the sun set beyond the horizon. A slight breeze made all the trees in the valley shudder in sync, like a dance, and without even realizing it, Xie Lian had begun to sway with the invisible melody.
“I do,” Xie Lian admitted. “There’s something almost… familiar about it. Have we been this way before?”
“Gege has such a good memory,” Hua Cheng said, and Xie Lian resisted the urge to roll his eyes. (The fact he had the urge at all was clearly all Mu Qing’s fault. He would need to speak with him about cutting back on the number of eye rolls allowed a day.) “This is not too far from the path we took when the kiln opened.”
Xie Lian’s mouth formed a silent ‘oh’. “We’re near the ruins of Wuyong?”
“Not quite close enough to be called near but close enough the scenery looks similar,” Hua Cheng said simply, “but Gege shouldn’t worry. I doubt we’ll have to enter the ruins to find what we’re looking for.”
Xie Lian wished he could say he wasn’t worried or relieved to hear that would not be the case, but it would not be the truth. Knowing that hiding such things from his husband was useless, he shot him a grateful smile. “What makes San Lang say that?”
“Call it a hunch,” Hua Cheng said lazily, tossing out a few stray hairs of straw out the back so the two of them could watch the blades dance in the wind. “Couples are going missing all over, Gege. It seems unlikely this has anything to do with mortals pillaging the newly opened ruins.”
And pillaging, some mortals had been. Xie Lian had mostly been ignoring all efforts the mortals had been making to understand and investigate the Ruins of Wuyong, allowing them to guess and hypothesize all they wanted. A few of the civil gods had tried to guide the mortals in the right direction, but as far as Xie Lian understood, most mortals simply avoided the mountain range due to the excessive amount of Yin energy the entire region gave off. Honestly, it was for the best. Even the gods were reluctant to send down deputies for further investigation due to the amount of unknown horrors, no matter how much Ling Wen wanted information for her records.
“I see,” Xie Lian said. “I wonder—”
Hua Cheng held up a hand to cut him off, an annoyed expression crossing his face as he brought two fingers up to his temple. “What?” he snapped aloud and probably to whichever poor soul had decided to contact him.
After four years of marriage, Xie Lian didn’t hesitate as he scooted closer to his husband, wanting to listen in. Hua Cheng’s miffed frown immediately softened as he realized what his husband wanted, and he brought his free hand up to touch Xie Lian’s temples, bringing him into the conversation.
“…to proceed, Chengzhu?” Yin Yu’s voice came through the connection.
Hua Cheng shared a look with Xie Lian before responding, “Gege is listening in. Repeat what you just said.”
There was an awkward pause, probably as Yin Yu gathered himself at the announcement he suddenly had an audience or stuffed down the annoyance that came with having to repeat his report. Xie Lian felt a little bad for the ghostly servant, but he’d found he quite enjoyed listening in and watching his husband work. Hua Cheng truly was the leader of Ghost City, and when he was in his element, it was a sight to behold. This was no different.
“Of course, Chengzhu,” Yin Yu answered. “I spoke to the locals in town, and they mentioned an inn on the outskirts they had never seen before. They believe at least one of the couples that have gone missing may have mentioned going to stay there for the evening since they were given a Lovers Discount. I found the inn, and there’s definitely some strange energy surrounding the building, a spell of some sort. How would you like me to proceed?”
Hua Cheng looked at Xie Lian who wore a thoughtful expression.
“Where is Yin Yu again?” the Scrap Immortal asked.
“Cherchen,” Hua Cheng answered. “It’s a city far in the west, located in an oasis. I could take Gege one day if he’d like.”
Xie Lian waved him off. “No, no, no. What does the inn look like?”
“What does the inn look like?” Hua Cheng relayed into the array.
“Old,” Yin Yu replied immediately, “which doesn’t make much sense when the locals swear it is a new construction. The paint is peeling. It looks weathered, perhaps even like it has survived a fire, though it’s hard to tell. The building itself is red with dark trim, and there’s a sign outfront claiming it to be a Lover’s Respite.”
“Couples,” Xie Lian muttered with a frown, “but not all the couples that disappeared were romantic. Do you think maybe some false positives have gotten mixed up with the list, San Lang?”
“It’s possible,” Hua Cheng said. “But it’s more likely that whatever entity this is may not care whether the couple are actually lovers or not. Maybe it just prefers to take its victims in pairs.”
“Maybe.” Xie Lian chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “But would two people simply traveling together stop at an inn targeted toward lovers? Wouldn’t that make things a bit, ah… awkward?”
“Perhaps… but if money is tight, Gege, most people will say anything for a cheap bed.”
That was true. Xie Lian didn’t have to think too hard to recall all the ridiculous things he’d been willing to do for a cheap meal and a cheap shelter. He cleared his throat as his cheeks colored, preferring not to think much on his busking days now that they were far behind him, and drove the conversation forward instead. “Has he gone inside?”
“Yin Yu,” Hua Cheng said into the array, and Xie Lian resisted the urge to sigh. He sounded so annoyed with his attendant despite Yin Yu always doing his best. It seemed rather unfair, especially after everything the man had been through the last five years. “Have you even bothered to check inside yet?”
Another awkward pause followed.
“No, Chengzhu,” Yin Yu said. “I was waiting to hear back on what you wanted me to do.”
Hua Cheng smiled coldly. “And what do you think that is?”
A nearly imperceptible sigh came in through the array. “I will report back once I have gone in.”
“Good,” Hua Cheng said. “Don’t get killed. Gege would be quite disappointed.”
“San Lang!” Xie Lian smacked his husband in the arm lightly.
Hua Cheng dropped both his hands. “Gege!” he pouted.
There really was no reason to admonish his husband any further than that. He knew Hua Cheng knew he shouldn’t speak to Yin Yu that way, and Xie Lian had no interest in starting an actual argument with him. Besides, he also knew that Hua Cheng didn’t really mean it either. Whether he ever said it aloud or not, he very much valued Yin Yu’s presence and work ethic. There was a reason he’d spent so much time and energy helping to bring his soul back when he could have just as easily allowed him to pass on.
When Yin Yu contacted Hua Cheng, he made it sound as if he were standing right outside the inn, so Xie Lian expected the conversation to continue right away. However, as the ox cart continued forward, the silence carried on with nothing. Xie Lian saw the way Hua Cheng went from relaxed to growing tense with every passing moment. He reached out to touch his husband’s bicep, wanting to offer comfort or a suggestion that might help, when his eyes caught a building passing them by. He squeezed his husband’s arm.
“San Lang,” he said, nodding toward the structure.
Hua Cheng raised an eyebrow. “Red inn.”
They caught each other’s eye and nodded. Xie Lian looked over his shoulder, calling out to the ox driver. “We’re getting off here. No need to stop. Thank you!” before he leapt off the back of the cart. He landed gracefully in the tire tracks, dust kicking up around his ankles, with Hua Cheng joining him a moment later. He heard the ox cart driver let out a few shouts of surprise, but he wisely kept driving, trying to get as far away from the weirdos as quickly as possible.
“If Yin Yu saw this exact same inn in the west,” Xie Lian theorized as he began to approach the wooden building, “how are we seeing it all the way here?”
“A spell,” Hua Cheng offered. “A very powerful one. I can sense something is going on, but if you were not knowing what to expect, you could just as easily think it was perhaps just haunted or warded. This is something else entirely, though.”
“Something meant to trap people,” Xie Lian said.
“Or worse.”
The two shared another glance before they moved to enter the building together.
