✧ * º • ☾ — cont. w/ @perenniter
the pixie can feel the tears well up in his eyes, his voice had come out croaky and broken as he had only used it to say mere simple sentences towards the sunbaes keeping him, as he had no other place to go but aurum’s shared dorm and that wouldn’t work for separation. everything hurt being away from wonshik, his heart ached and it was a struggle to even get out of the sunbaes’s dorms or houses to do solo schedule, to act like he was happy when all he felt was hollow. roy shouldn’t even be talking to the demon, kuyu would scold him for it as wonshik hadn’t proven he had changed, but it was a moment of weakness and they had ran into each other in the hall. roy had to, he had to break the deafening silence as it was killing him to not hear wonshik’s voice, to not wake up in their dorm and to not see wonshik.
though, he feels his heart shatter when he does manage to speak to him, he shouldn’t have, he shouldn’t have. now all he wants to do is throw himself into wonshik’s arms, to sob out his feelings for the asshole he fell in love with, devoted his life to, and have a fairy tale ending with everything being better. roy knows jisung was right, his twin almost always is, he shouldn’t have tried to follow his dumbass dream and should’ve taken up flowers instead of the spotlight. maybe if he had he wouldn’t be on the verge of loosing his career and on the verge of heartbreak, he would’ve had an easy job and maybe would’ve settled down with some pixie boy and would’ve had a nice life from there. what was so unlovable about roy? why doesn’t wonshik love him when he’s trying his best? why won’t wonshik just keep roy or leave roy, he doesn’t want mixed signals, he just wants commitment and deep down a little voice nags that wonshik might never give him that, that he is just a toy for wonshik’s amusement.
the tears that are building in the corner of his eyes spill, drip down his cheeks as he stares up at wonshik, the one that cause roy’s heart to twist in such ugly ways, but yet in such pretty ways as well. the pixie swallows thickly, the tears just won’t stop and all the progress he’s made on possibly forgetting wonshik is deleted and he just wants it back. roy feels so weak compared to wonshik, who probably doesn’t feel a thing, as roy feels so many emotions all at once. a hiccup follows his next words, stumbling backwards and away from wonshik who might damage him more, ❝ o.. obviously a lot more... you d.. don’t even look like... y... you care.. ❞
