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Roller coaster Of Emotions

Everyone getting ready for Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding:

The Wedding itself and Ruby/Sapphire’s fusion:

Blue and Yellow crashing the wedding:

The Cluster emerging and ARM-WRESTLING Yellow:

Crystal Gems Vs. Blue Diamond

Yellow joining in, curbstomping Steven, poofing both PERIODOT AND LAPIS:

Steven encouraging the Crystal Gems in dream mode and FINALLY managing to get through to Blue and Yellow that he is Pink Diamond:

This whole episode in total:

Lapis Lazuli Revalidated

One of the important side arcs of Season 5 was Lapis Lazuli’s depression and PTSD. I am glad that like some other shows this wasn’t “magically” evaporated. Lapis did try to come in turns with her trauma but why I respect Rebecca Sugar as a person and her storytelling is also related to Lapis Lazuli’s arc.

A lot of people wanted a ship immediately. Yes, there are hints that Peridot and Lapis Lazuli are the best of friends. They may be something more. One thing Sugar demonstrated in almost all the relationships in Steven Universe is that despite the importance of romantic love, as illustrated by Garnet and even Rose Diamond loving Greg Universe, alongside its healing properties, that it is not the panacea to every problem.

Greg Universe shows this numerous times saying that even when Rose wanted to speak about certain things he didn’t always coerce her for truths. He could understand that Rose was not completely comfortable and something bothered her. She even admitted partly herself that her identity as Rose was not a real person. Yet, she was not lying to Greg through her teeth. After the new episodes, Greg knows the truth. He is coping with them and jokes about his real name. However, he also understands the strain and complications Pink had in her own life. Their romantic and loving relationship can’t fix that.

Sugar is very determined to show the truth. That romantic relationships are not fixes to a person. A person has their own history and their own way of doing things. It is very fallacious and pretentious to think a romantic relationship can fix everything. It can only heal and give respite. Exactly, what Pink and Greg got and also received when they had Steven. Sugar also mentioned that Steven should not be responsible for “fixing” the problems of his mother. If he is a leader he can only do so much and mostly he can do right by him. He obviously cares about everyone and looks at their wants and needs but he is not solely responsible for their happiness.

What Lapis Lazuli got from Steven and his friends, including Peridot, is healing and respite. She was being her own person. She was figuring things out on her own. And, she was developing emotions for people she loved and an intimacy to Peridot. Yet, she relapsed. That is very common, real and normal. People with depression, trauma and PTSD have relapses. They do question their emotions, doubts and also have a difficult time re-acknowledging what has happened to them. Lapis has to come in terms, by herself, what has happened to her. She has suffered and faced a lot. Remember how Jasper wanted to fuse with her and she gave in but with the intention of jailing Jasper. She looked almost in a trance doing the dance as if she was thinking of how to get vengeance.

That is also normal. To feel vengeful, wrathful and anger when one has been wronged so many times. Yet, she realised that it is not necessarily Jasper who has abused her and she cannot do wrong to Jasper as that, in itself, would make her an abuser. So, she decided to be part of the Crystal Gems. It helped her find purpose and reorient her life but she was constantly fearful as well. She didn’t understand how she could live and survive. There was a weight on her and she soon she decided to leave.

Was it fair on Peridot? No, it wasn’t. Yet the feelings felt by Lapis are not meant to be fair. Trauma is not fair and surviving it is a long road built by trying to get justice and dealing with unfairness. However, in Lapis’s absence Peridot also discovered aspects about herself. She loved farming, she loved agriculture, she liked producing and growing things. Even the relationship of Sadie and Lars mirrors this. Sugar wants her characters to be interdependent and independent and not codependent. Seeing that Lapis has survived trauma and Peridot is new to the crew it would seem like a toxic and clingy relationship/friendship if they didn’t work out their problems and also grow. Sugar has planned this for every character. Even Greg and Pink seemed to have much of this before they finally got together and had Steven.

Lapis didn’t wish to retraumatised. That is why she left. Yet, she also felt the love of the Crystal Gems and Peridot so she stayed close by: the moon. The moon itself is symbolic of changes, transformations and different moods of the mind. What better way to deal with one’s grief then stay on the moon? The very symbol that validates and signifies strife and respite? She was so scared. She has suffered so much and her fear was valid. Perhaps, we were frustrated with her character but Sugar was not only trying to please fans. She was going for the reality of the situation of someone facing depression, trauma and PTSD.

In the end, Lapis Lazuli came back. She stated that if she were to die as being branded as a traitor and a Crystal Gem than she rather be a Crystal gem and die. This was off her own agency, experience, truth and logic. She has wholeheartedly accepted the Crystal Gems and Steven as her family. As her friends. Yes, Steven was kind and patient but she needed to figure this out on her own. Same way Greg and Pink also figured things out on their own, the same way Sadie and Lars did, the same way Steven and Connie die, ultimately the same way Ruby and Sapphire did. Alongside, Pearl, and Amethyst.

The shows’s narrative is rich and complex because it respects love in all its forms and also personal/individual struggles. It does not offer a fairytale. We already have much of that. What it offers is growth, redemption, change and transformations: some of the pillars of truth. When Amethyst seems bored about Ruby running away we think she is acting immature and callous. Yet, she was acting as the most mature gem. She thinks it’s wrong for Steven, who is just a young boy, to take care of the emotional burdens of gems older than him and who are also adults. Steven also expressed some doubt on his mother.

He doesn’t hate her but hates some of her actions, which is ultimately mature and realistic. Greg also expresses doubt but we see that he has already arrived at this conclusion years ago. He knew Rose was hiding something. Does it affect him? Yes, Rose being Pink Diamond also affects Greg but he understands what his spouse must have struggled with. This understanding is reflected also on Lapis Lazuli leaving and why. She cannot contain the burden and grief she carries. Peridot also has the same fears but Lapis has suffered for a longer time and needed time to assort her feelings.

Ultimately, when facing off Blue Diamond, when everyone is incapacitated, Blue Diamond is shocked to see the person you least expect to be still standing is Lapis Lazuli. She wipes a single tear and with dignity and pride states: “I have faced worse.”

In one moment, Rebecca Sugar validates Lapis Lazuli strife and struggle. She shows that one’s pain when acknowledged can make one stronger. Lapis Lazuli made her pain into a weapon but to save herself and her friends. She was ready to fight. She had her own choice and she chose to fight and protect what was valuable to her. The show acknowledged all the pain she has endured. It never erased or relegated them.

The finale of Season 5 revalidated Lapis Lazuli. It showed that hope will come. It also showed that Lapis is a stronger person who has worked through her pain. It is still there but her time with the Crystal gems, her own contemplation and actions has made her know how to better handle it. Lapis is able to stand up to Blue because of her history and her pain. In standing up, she found the hope she needed and wanted. She felt validated again.

Lapis Lazuli is a survivor and she has shown how survivors deal with and also triumph over their struggles. She owned her pain instead of being owned by it. She latched on to hope and became the strongest she could ever be at that moment. Her arc and story was written realistically and in the end, she was victorious. Lapis Lazuli is a character who understands the need not to be silenced anymore and the need to be validated.