#permes

[kittenscookie]

For the past two weeks I've been imagining an Ascended Percy but is Sally was born over three thousand years ago—so Percy ascended a little over three thousand years ago. He's an established god by the start of the series. Most don't like talking about him because he's considered volatile and dangerous *cough* won't/has the strength not to do a damn thing Zeus says *cough* *cough*, he helps run Camp Half Blood.

Zeus: Okay, we need someone to run Camp Half Blood with Chiron—

Percy: *Kicks Down The Doors* I VOLUNTEER!

Poseidon: ...Percy!? It's been centuries—!

Percy: And it will be at least another, I'm still not talking to you (–_–)

•••

Percy: *Polishing Riptide* I was flooding cities before your mother's bloodline was even a thing, don't you find that odd?

Luke: *Drunk off his ass* Can you sharpen that on me?

•••

Hermes: *Slams a bottle of rosé on Apollo's desk* ...

Apollo: ...What happened...?

Hermes: ...Three thousand, one hundred, and nineteen years of courting him—fighting with you over him...And he picked my. fucking. son...

Apollo: You're shitting me right...?

Hermes: ...*Cracks open the bottle and starts pouring them both a glass*

Apollo: TELL ME YOU'RE SHITTING ME—

[ackerlikesmen]

Wrong club

Ares: Welcome to the club. I see that punk raised hell for all of you. I say we sneak into his puny cabin, grab the bastard by surprise, and attack-- Hermes: Wait, why are we attacking Percy? Ares: Did you not read the sign, dumbass? It's called Fuck Percy! for a reason. Apollo, grunting: We need to work on your club names. Hermes, heading for the door: Seriously, dude. Find a better name--- Apollo: Hold on. Apollo, eyes glowing gold: Oh, hades no. He's mine! Hermes, pulls out dagger: Yours? I don't think so! Hermes and Apollo fight Ares: No, you dumbasses! Use this energy when we meet Percy! Jason & Nico, sneaks out:

[vyky]

[superhero-justice]

Gods crushing on Percy Jackson and leaving a baby on his doorstep is 😘

[foxgloveinspace]

Percy and his harem of blond men;

Jason: I am the youngest one here.

Percy: yeah, I know. I uhh-

Jason: your fucking Luke and his dad?

Percy: no! I’m not fucking Luke’s dad!

Hermes: I’m trying…..

Apollo: it’s getting a bit desperate.

Hermes: I’m nice!

Luke: if you spent more time with my siblings he’d let you tap.

Hermes: !!! *literally pulls out the G&M PDA to start scheduling more time with his kids*

Apollo: I take it back, this is beyond desperate.

Percy: I hate how that might actually work…

Luke: no… wait-

Jason: Percy, you have weird daddy issues, and I mean that lovingly.

Dionysus: *shows up with white blond hair and looking like Himself™️ again* hello.

Percy: oh no. Not another one.

Jason: Seriously, did you piss a love god/goddess off?

Percy: Well, yes?

Hermes: If you let Dionysus before me, I'm gonna be hurt.

Luke: Percy as the one you are married too-

Percy: I am not gonna fuck Hermes!

Luke: or Mr. D, right? I can deal with one god and one other demigod only.

Apollo, now holding a popcorn bucket and sharing with Jason while Percy sputters: should we tell Percy that Hermes is just tormenting Luke?

Percy in the background to Luke: you’re acting like you aren’t also with them!! This isn’t a love triangle it’s a circle!

Jason: absolutely not. Is Mr. D actually trying?

Apollo: I genuinely don’t know. He’s still sober and I don’t know his tells when he is.

Dionysus, sitting beside him and taking a handful of popcorn: I don’t like being around you while sober, that’s why.

Apollo, nodding: see.

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

no but the way Hermes and Percy waited until the second Luke was dead to start cuddling up to each other is so funny. The silent agreement that if Luke saw Percy clinging to Hermes, he'd lose his fucking mind on top of the crash out he's already having.

They already clearly favor each other before Luke dies, but afterwards they're so much closer emotionally and physically. It really screams "we were only holding back because of Luke."

[thorishot123]

What If

Percy Jackson was the reincarnation of Hermes spartan lover Crocus?

Annabeth could be a reincarnation of Smilax trying work to win Percy(Crocus)'s love again but ALMOST got it.

Crocus and Smilax memories very subtle imply start at Sea of monsters and are clear in between SoN.

Hermes and Annabeth hatred of each other worsen and has a another reason for it.

The Greco-Romans all have popcorn for this sitcom.

Luke is having a another crashout when the news hits!

(A.N. this came reading all those the Hyacinthus AUs and want to throw something for the Permes side. Sorry about the Grammar btw)

(Edit: if anyone want to make this type of story I don't mind just credit me. Also any version of the myth is free game)