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phan 2012: yeah MY weekend was okay I (and only ME) went to an oscars party

phan 2017: we we we us us ours us we us ours ours we we us ours us we

#danisnotonfire #amazingphil #dan howell #phil lester #dan and phil #phan #phandom #phan trash #phan 2012 #2012 phan #mine #500 notes

what's this 2012 breakdown you mentioned ? i've only been a fan a couple of years and hope this isn't inappropriate to ask

Hey! If you check the notes on my post, @margorothspiegelmanthegreat already broke it down pretty well, but if you want a few more details, just message me. :) It was...rough on the phandom and REAL BAD on Dan, and I don’t mind talking about it (because it’s important to know what not to do again), but there’s also parts of the story I don’t want to go into too much publicly (because it gets us old people really riled up) lol

#asks #anamericanbisexual #phan 2012 #those were dark days #oof

Chloe: Phil looks like the Onceler

MUM: he does!

CHLOE: how would you know?

MUM: It's the two boys you like, Ant and Phil

DAN 2012: We are not Dick and Dom we are not Ant and Dec. I am Dan, he is Phil we are not a double act.

Chloe: Even my Mum knows you are one person lol

#phan #dan howell #ant and dec #double act #phan 2012 #phil lester #the lorax

Coffee Cups of Hope

Phil was angry, of course he would be after that video had accidentally been released. It was made for Dan, and only Dan. Phil was upset but he had not handled the situation nearly as badly as Dan had.

Phil had felt utterly terrible after the incident happened but he was ready to accept that it wouldn’t just magically vanish from the Internet. He was ready to play it off as a joke and make another video to say it was one but before he could do anything Dan had rashly acted first.

Dan was quick to publicly label anyone who believed the video an idiot and quicker to throw insults at anyone who questioned his sexuality or his relationship with Phil. He posted things like “FYI I like vagina” and claim that even the thought of dating Phil was disgusting. It hurt but so did the next few months when their relationship became as non-existent as Dan’s tweets and tumblr post made it out to be.

Dan stopped making Phil coffee in the morning. He stopped giving good night kisses. They woke up and went to sleep at different times and in different beds. Videos together we’re rare and awkward. They stopped watching anime and eating together. There was no more talking, cuddling, kissing, love making or even acknowledging. There was no more anything and just as many other things stopped so did their relationship.

Well technically speaking they were still dating but their once strong bond was as dead and silent as their Manchester apartment now felt.

Yes Phil was angry, but that was only a fraction of what he was feeling. Majority of his being was heartbroken. Phil had given Dan his trust and told him all his doubts, insecurities and hopes. He had introduced Dan to the real Phil. One that you wouldn’t find behind a screen where imperfections could be fixed and scripts could be made. Phil had given Dan his heart and Dan accepted it carefully and gracefully.

Or at least he had. Now all Dan did was stomp and grind Phil’s heart into their carpet covered floor with the things he did on social media and didn’t do in real life. Constant fights filtered Phil’s mind and those were the thoughts that led him to his room and encouraged him to pack clothes into a backpack. He couldn’t stay in this house any longer.

Those thoughts also seemed to be the thing that walked Dan to Phil’s room, ready to apologize before another fight would undoubtedly begin later. Dan found Phil zipping up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Dan asked in an unfairly weak and surprised voice. Maybe hearing Dan sound so frail would of previously ignited a gut wrenching feeling in Phil that would automatically bring him to tears but not this time. Phil had wasted enough tears on the boy standing in front of him, the boy who didn’t seem to care, he would not waste anymore. Instead Phil avoided Dan’s gaze and answered nonchalantly .

“To a friend’s house.” Phil tried to move past Dan but stopped when the younger boy continued to question.

“Who’s house and for how long?” Dan seemed to be as uncomfortable with the notion of him leaving as Phil currently felt staying, unloved, in this house.

“I don’t know Dan, I just need to get away for a bit.” Phil attempted to push past Dan but was stopped again, this time by a hand to his chest and pleading brown eyes.

“Please stay,” Dan said in a whisper, barely audible yet powerful enough to cause Phil to softly step back into his room and drop his bag.

Relief flooded over Dan’s frame as he let out a small “Thanks”. Dan didn’t try to hug or cuddle Phil, he didn’t act as if everything was ok because it wasn’t, all he did was leave silently. It was enough. Phil now had a strand of hope to tightly grasp and that was all he asked for because as much as he needed to leave, Phil wanted to stay a lot more.

And maybe the cup of coffee he wordlessly received from Dan the next morning gave him a bit more hope to hold onto.

#phan #2012 phan #phan 2012 #phanfiction #dan howell #phil lester #angst #not really #but whatever #happy ending #i think #coffee #Phil is sad #Dan is sad #dan and phil

I have a worry

It can’t just be me, but I’m always worried that we, as the phandom, are going to have another 2012. Like I don’t want to be a fear mongerer but with how open dan and phil have been, I feel like it might be easy for them to get hurt. I just don’t want another 2012... and I just get nervous.

Just some thoughts from a fellow phan memeber

~Isabella Jane

#danisnotonfire #amazingphil #phan #2012 #phan 2012 #dan and phil