Platonic Relationship: Steve Rodger, Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes & Yelena Belova (Who in this fic is age regressed to the age of 16)
Warnings: SPOILERS for the movie Black Widow and the MCU in general , Past (Mentioned) Physical, Psychological and Sexual abuse, Panic Attack, Mentions of Assassinations
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Some Wholesome Content in there too
Summary: Steve, Sam and Bucky get a glimpse at Yelena's dark past after she was recruited into S.H.I.E.L.D.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! It was the first of its kind and I really hope you enjoy it and I hope it lives up to your expectations! Love, Vy ❤
You know those moments when life does a quick run down memory lane on the back of your eyelids? That’s what’s happening to Yelena right now as she’s looking out the chopper window, her gaze travelling the snowy forest below, the two sides of it split by a road that’s travelled by the backup forces for this mission. She had the opportunity to fly ‘elite status’ with the main operatives because she’s technically one of them and has now found herself too lost in her thoughts to be able to remember anything but what her brain is willing to show her. She trusts it with all her might, seeing as how it knows which memories to suppress and which to remind her of. It knows what keeps her motivated and keeps her going. There aren’t many things other than sheer will that have kept her from crumbling through the years after being free from that God forsaken place.
The memory of Natasha, that’s what keeps her going. The bravery of her late sister and her courage. Her righteousness and selflessness. How much she wishes she would’ve been here to see how far she’s made it. Ho much she wishes they could both be on this mission and every other upcoming one after this. How much she misses her but refuses to fall down that spiral of thought. She knows Nat wouldn’t want her doing that. She would want her to stay strong and keep fighting to protect the world like she did. The problem is, she doesn’t know where to start when she sees herself as the outcast that never belongs anywhere. The one that never has been and never will be a hero.
She feels like she doesn’t deserve anything she’s got, including S.H.I.E.L.D. which has become a sort of family to her ever since she was recruited by Phil Coulson and Nick Fury. She owes them all she currently has, all she currently is and how far she’s come. As a sixteen year old knowing nothing but murder and discipline she now knows she would’ve either ended up in a mercenary group, the military or jail. Her skillfulness would honestly not allow the last of the options, but it still remains on the list of possibilities.
Yelena has come to learn that despite all she’s been taught, many things are out of her control constantly. She’s got power over herself and her actions and that’s about where the power ends. To her, that’s incredibly freeing. She’s been brought up to believe that if she doesn’t take initiative to be in control of every element of life, she’ll have to take responsibility for the consequences. And if she’s being honest, these are not the consequences she expected, not that she’s complaining or anything.
She likes being a member of S.H.I.E.L.D. She likes being surrounded by people who see life differently - she hopes they’ll be able to coach her own view of it. She’s happy here, learning to protect, not kill. Being a protector suits her a lot better than being the killer like she was supposed to be. Yet, she still doesn’t see herself as a hero, not even a potential one.
That constant knowing makes her feel distant from her peers. She tends to get very soft-spoken and closed-off when the time is wrong but she always puts in her all to cover it up and still remain as friendly and polite as she can with the people around her. After all, they’re the first she’s cared for since Natasha, her sister.
Yelena knows that she could meet all the people in the world, and still none would replace the redhead who’s the only reason she’s alive now.
“Landing in five!“ The gurgled voice of the pilot battles the loud roar of the propeller and engine to reach the passengers who’ve been waiting for the heads-up for a while now, the anxiety building up with each flown mile.
“You ok, kid?“ Sam asks, holding tightly onto the seat he’s sat in which is opposite Yelena’s, “You haven’t said much.“
“Nothing to say.“ The girl shrugs, “You haven’t said anything yourself.“
The man scoffs, “What’s there to say in this situation?”
Without skipping a beat, she retorts with a snarky but lighthearted, “Exactly” that causes Steve and Buck to snicker, much to Sam’s annoyance.
“Don’t take it personally. She’s not a fan of any of us.” Cap replies, patting his friend’s shoulder half sympathetically and half mockingly.
Yelena, on the other hand, furrows her brows, “No, that’s really not it, I’m just...”
“Sarcastic.“ Bucky saves the rest of her sentence when she trails off, unable to remember the word in English, “Don’t worry, Yelena. Our Sammy boy knows all there is to know about sarcasm.“
The mocked man chuckles as he points an accusing finger at the mocker, “Better watch that mouth of yours, Barnes, cause I’m this close to not being a fan of yours.“
“Come on, you four. We’re already behind the ground team.“ The pilot says, alerting them to strap and brace themselves for the landing.
Once the helicopter has been settled in a clearing amongst the greenery of trees Yelena saw from up in the air, the core-fore steps out into the chilly breeze. The stray blond strands of hair which have freed themselves from her braid dance to the rhythm of the cold wind. The huge warehouse in front of them stands like a grim castle, sending a chill down the team’s spine.
The terrain truck S.H.I.E.L.D. has sent is parked out front, void of the driver or the passengers who have presumably wandered inside, judging by the widely opened doors.
Steve leads the way, followed by the other three, but just as they near the east wall of the place, three more trucks, identical to the first, pull up. The team takes on a weary stance, hands immediately flying to the weapons on their person until they recognize the driver of one of them.
“Hey, what the hell is going on?“ Sam voices the thoughts in Yelena’s head as he calls out to the backup that’s been called without their knowledge.
“You’ll need transport back, won’t you?” Isaac, one of Fury’s right hand men replies mysteriously as he approaches them, “Your chopper will be occupied.” The man motions for the four to follow him to the open doors of the warehouse, “These people need to be brought to a hospital asap.”
One look inside and all of them have been frozen into place. The sight inside is terrifying, terrifyingly familiar to one of them too.
Metal hospital beds set up in several rows, bare dirty walls, filthy floors. A peek up at the visible second storey rimmed by a metal railing shows the same setting - an asylum-like layout and setup, meant to keep the unknown number of victims in a mind altering surrounding that’d make it easier for the captors to manipulate them whatever way they’d please.
However, Yelena fails to see the people in there. She does see occupants, but not the ones who are really there. She sees a mob of identically dressed girls, one of whom is her, staring back at her.
The room morphs before her eyes as Isaacs words echo in the background.
“Untie me!! Get your hands off!! Don’t touch me!!“
“Experimented on...“
“Where are you taking me?!! Let me go!! Let go!“
The ‘bedroom’
The movie room
The playtime room
The operating room
The piano room
The courtyard
Yelena’s no longer able to stand the sight of all the rooms she experienced so much pain in, no longer able to fight against the memories breaching the barrier she’s created to keep them at bay. They’re flooding in, flashing images in front of her eyes, invading her ears with sounds she’s heard so many times - the screaming, the crying, that same goddamn cartoon over and over again, the sound of snapping necks and the crackling of gravel under boots as her and the other girls - turned killing machines - march the same grounds with the same pattern over and over again.
And she’s tried to forget it over and over again. But just like that movie, that march, that whole routine, it keeps happening - she keeps trying, but hasn’t been able to succeed permanently.
It’s all so overwhelming and powerful, so foreign yet so familiar. It places a heavy weight onto her chest, cutting her airflow, causing her stomach to churn. Her vision vignettes and blurs as she becomes lightheaded and can only focus on the need to get as far away from the place as possible.
She doesn’t make it far though, the lack of air dropping her to her knees.
First to her aid rushes Bucky whose touch she flinches away from, envisioning one of the ‘doctors’ instead of him. Steve and Sam are quick to follow suit, crouching down next to her. Cap is the only one who dares touch her again, grabbing both her shoulders to give her a shake to snap her out of her trance.
There are a few times in Yelena’s life she’s felt such relief and this is one of those time - the sight of the three terrified men surrounding her surprisingly comforting, amusing even. She’d laugh if she had the air to do so.
“Hey, hey, hey, take a deep breath, it’s ok. You’re ok, you’re safe.“ Bucky whispers to her and much to his surprise, she leaps forward and hugs him, holding onto him as if she’s afraid he and the other two are just hallucinations.
Accepting the surprise hug, Bucky turns to Steve and Sam, “I know that look, I’ve seen it in the mirror a few too many times.”
Both men catch onto what he’s saying, their hearts dropping simultaneously; the torture, the experimentation, the....they can’t bring themselves to think of the rest, their brains unable to handle the thought of what this teenage girl had to go through. Lord knows Bucky himself is having a hard time fighting back his own mental images and flashbacks.
“Breathe, Yelena, breathe. We’re here, you’re here.“ Steve makes an attempt of his own, receiving a small nod in response which he sees as a positive sign.
“I’ll take her to the truck, you take care of those poor people.“ Sam offers.
Bucky silently agrees, encouraging Yelena to let go of him and get up on shaky legs. With Sam’s support she makes it to the SUV without any mishaps, it helps too that her vision’s starting to clear up.
“You ok, kid?“ Sam asks from the passenger seat, looking back at the girl who’s now lying in the back, regaining control over her own lungs as she focuses on something small like counting her heartbeats.
“Yeah...better.“ She croaks out, managing not to lose count.
Sam sighs, “You scared the shit out of all of us.“ He wisely chooses not to ask what happened. Judging by her panic attack, it is definitely a sore subject. And judging by what Bucky disclosed, it isn’t an easy thing to talk about nor listen to.
“Sorry.“ She replies shortly, stopping the count when she estimates a minute has passed. “I should be over it by now.“
“Nah, don’t say that. It doesn’t seem like the type of thing you can get over easily. Take it easy, don’t pressure yourself. But don’t let it alter your future either cuz you got a bright one ahead of you.“ He reassures her, bringing a small smile to her face. A hopeful smile that slipped by her unnoticed.
“Thanks, Sam. Thank Bucky and Steve for me too.“ She replies, “Cuz I’m gonna take a nap.“
Sam chuckles at her statement, “Go ahead. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
That’s probably the only reason she feels safe falling asleep, not worried about nightmares. She knows Sam’s there, she knows Bucky and Steve are a call away. She feels safe knowing so many people are there to protect her although she’d like to argue she needs no one’s protection, which is in fact true, she still likes the thought of having these people around.
Maybe because they’re Natasha’s friends.
Maybe because they’re heroes.
Or maybe because they remind her of Natasha.
Regardless, she thanks her lucky stars for what she has now every single day.
I'm currently watching groundhog day for the first time and wow this guy became a crazy psychopath fast
In a lot of time loop movies in the first two restarts they just say "huh you sayed that yesterday too wow how odd" and don't really realize they're in a time loop
Meanwhile Phil Colson becomes crazy in just TWO RESTARTS starts a police chase, and almost DRIVES INTO A TRAIN
MAY: Stay focused. Field work isn’t always about rushing in and using your powers. Look for anything out of the ordinary. People with their hands in their pockets, long coats, clothes that don’t match the weather.
