Ive seen recent posts in my feed discussing how fans of phm feel about other fans erasing Grace's Aroace implications
And as someone who is also asexual themself, I say it's a lot deeper than just that issue alone, as there is something else I've noticed as well that's really been bugging me
There is that small really small majority of people who criticize the book that I can't stand because they try to shallowly give Grace a negative label just because he is different than what they want, and admittedly it does say a lot about the person who does that
Grace gets really into something he knows about and enjoys and can sometimes talk over others because of it? He can be a bit blunt and prideful about it at times? Sometimes overexplain way too much?
Those rare few people call him a "typical redditor" for that and how it's annoying, even though those quirks of his are very common in a lot of people, especially in neurodivergency, including myself. Yes those traits like any traits can be used in a flawed way and Grace definitely has an ego, but comments like that feel so shallow and mean spirited
You know what else is shallow and meanspirited? Those rare few people ive seen say Grace is Misogynistic and an incel because he doesn't have intimate relationships or struggles forming intimate relationships with others and can sometimes hold grudges against those who upset him
Like genuinely what the actual fuck guys, like genuinely, why are we labeling people so negatively for just not being interested in interpersonal relationships or struggling with interpersonal relationships
No, Grace is not a redditor, he is not misogynistic or an incel, he just struggles with forming intimate relationships with others due to his own fear, self doubt, most likely past trauma, and also simply because he isn't focused on relationships and sometimes they can even make him uncomfortable at the thought, that's OKAY. I'm sorry he's not a popular guy with all these friends and a loving girlfriend, but that's not who he is and he doesn't HAVE to be like that, no one does.
And god forbid he holds a grudge against those who upset him, and that some of those people just happen to be women. Maybe because Stratt sent him into space against his will? Dr. Lokken spent the first minutes of meeting him shitting on his past science career? Maybe because he had normal relationship struggles with his ex? And so on and so forth.
He's allowed to be upset about things, he's allowed to be upset about situations and people that provoked him, it has never been about gender/romance and never will, he can just hold a bit of a grudge, just like we do. And he's allowed to struggle with commitment issues and not being interested in close relationships or romantic relationships and struggle with the idea of them. And he's allowed to sometimes struggle with things such as social cues, overexplaining things, talking over others, being too blunt, etc..
He's just a normal person, like us, who has traits that make him different from the norm. And the fact the immediate response to that from these people is mean spirited hostility and labeling is concerning, genuinely.
The fact people feel the need to lump Grace's different personality and mindset when it comes to connections, interactions, relationships into negative labels like that always leaves such a hard pit in my stomach. Especially when the negative labels don't fit him a single bit and his character genuinely activitely fights against what those labels mean.
No wonder people who are in Grace's shoes, who feel lonely, who feel lost, who feel like they are a failure and don't deserve others struggle with coming out about how they feel. Because this is what they are met with.
There are so many things you can criticize about the book, the writing style, the pacing, Andy Weir's struggle with writing women and relationships in general, and yes even how the characters can feel flat including Grace. You can have meaningful thoughtful criticisms about what you are reading.
I know the people I complained about aren't the majority with their criticisms, they are exteremely rare, but I still see it pop up every now and again and the fact that it exists at all is baffling to me.
Just had to get that off my chest
