you don't need to put a deadline on your creativity
I think us of us with adhd and autism that have abandoned our projects for whatever reasons we need a nice reminder that you don't have to put deadline on them. Like fuck around and go do what you can do and want to do with what you can. Just live life and experience it.
But also there's no real time limit on when you have to complete your hyper fixation/spins projects. It's okay to bounce all over from project to project. or to have to take breaks because burnout, dysregulation, overstimulation, and other mental and physical health concerns. and it doesn't matter how long that break is.
Just experience and live life. It will happen when it happens. Being in burnout for 3 years is so weird. Because I used to put a lot of crippling pressure on myself with arbitrary ideas of time. its been a painful growth struggle to not do that and also being put in situations mentally and physically where its not even an option to obsess of over arbitrary ideas of time because of the clear reality of worsened symptoms during this time.
But being who I am when I can do something, I will do it right away. I get back to everything as soon as I can. mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, energetically whatever it is I'm dealing with and having to put on pause (whether I realize that's what's happening on not). sometimes we fall out of things. sometimes we lose the inspiration and flow of energy needed to create or finish or understand something. sometimes we need to gain more pieces from other areas of our life before we're ready to come back to projects, especially those most important projects.
if something is really important to ofc it requires being taken seriously and valued and cultivated. But putting arbitrary ideas of time that is capitalism. that isn't art or creating something of elevation from the human soul, mind, and heart in authenticity. So for those bigger projects remember this is something of meaning and value. with that takes time, experience, and knowledge. when we reach "roadblocks" in our creativity it's because we need to live and exist and learn and digest and process more. there's a missing piece(s) and/or something that hasn't fully digested yet. allow that to happen by living and existing and experiencing life. when the time is right it will come to you and you get back to it. In the meantime interact with what speaks to you even if it's "absolutely unrelated". what I've found is there are points of symmetry in almost everything and a new perspective or idea or understanding that can be gained somewhere, anywhere you least expect it. and we can actually learn a lot to from points of opposition too, sometimes this opens up our perspective to realize we're wrong or simply don't have the full picture (multiple realities exist) and other times it opens us up to validating the truth we've been internally gaslighting ourselves over or second-guessing.
Transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and racism in religion and the demonization of trans people, queer people, Black and Indigenous people, and women and the intersectionality of this hate is spiritual warfare. It is evil. It is violence. This hate and indoctrination disrupts the natural connection to the divine and sacred. It maims and disempowers. It destroys sovereignty. It even kills.
You cannot be a "healer" and "love and light" and be transphobic, homophobic, racist, and misogynistic and uphold these systems. You are committing acts of spiritual warfare.
I was an absolute fiend like the worst and had been using nicotine since I was 14 so if you don't think you're strong enough to quit, I'm here to tell you: yes, you are!
I'm over 7 months no nicotine after heavily smoking/vaping for 10 years. And over the course of the past few months I will have dreams where I'm smoking a cigarette with other people and once I basically finish the cig I remember "oh yeah I quit" and then there's just a this immense wave of guilt and the realization of "oh no what have I done". And then I wake up and I'm like "what the fuck?" but I never wanna go back to it. I still love the smell of cigarettes tho. but i think my unconscious mind is still processing that I quit and am overcoming this addiction.
I literally just remembered I can play clarinet. It's been 6 years but I mentally remember all the notes. I've been working on my debut pr0t3st album for like a year and a half and just remembered my introduction to music and reading music was due to clarinet in band at school for 8 years.
I kinda shutdown on all those memories when 2 years ago my former band director of 5 years was charged with s3xual battery of a minor (he got 13 years of jail time, should be more tho). my immediate response as a way of processing was to write an emotional song about it (this will be on my second album, which I've been working on for 2 and a half years) as I am a survivor of the violence of men it was triggering. (I've written over 100 songs in the last few years as songwriting is how I process and cope, I write a song about everything.) But also I had looked up to this man as a father figure (and so did my partner), I had even confided in him about my own trauma the 5 years he was my band director. I hate him and I hope he suffers for his crimes.
