Mar 18
I feel like ive been hit by a train in all the ways today.
seen from Georgia
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Belgium
seen from Switzerland
seen from Spain
seen from Italy
seen from Yemen
seen from Australia
seen from Canada
seen from Yemen
seen from France
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Spain
seen from Croatia
seen from Switzerland
seen from Georgia
I feel like ive been hit by a train in all the ways today.
It's a ONE HOUR OF DANCING MON MOTHMA on loop kind of night
I know my publisher is a giant and doesn’t care and my editor is kind and probably built in a bit of a buffer, along with the managing ed team, but I feel so utterly guilty about forgetting to turn in second pass pages.
Just the way I fully and completely forgot about it. I have an awful memory, but I write shit down. I get it down. And here I just completely and utterly dropped the ball.
I'm TIRED
So um....
Y'all got any Bob Thots or what?
i simply don't feel good!
I think @participlepotato and me are kind hot 🥵
Well, today is the first day I haven’t just sobbed relentlessly until I fell asleep in about a week. Granted, I did take a 3 hour nap in the middle of the day, but it was warranted.
I turned down the apartment for a myriad of reasons. Despite everything, I just... I really don’t want to move out. Judge me as you will.
I’m trying to adjust to the new laptop, and use it more often... does anyone else have anxiety about new devices? I just feel so nervous about it, and I don’t know why. I know it was expensive; it’s like a dream laptop, and it’s really very nice-- but I’m so used to my sad little 8 year old laptop that’s held together with duct tape (literally) and has a cover I can’t close so it’s just always open. That’s a laptop I can use without fear; this one is new, and expensive, and I don’t even know how to begin to test it properly to make sure “it’s the one I want” and my mom has asked me to do.
She gave it to me on Christmas and I just started crying and she was so horrified, asking if I was ok, and if it wasn’t one I wanted, and all I could say was, “It’s wonderful but I’m so tired.”
I’m feeling so emotionally wrung out and overwhelmed, I just want to cry for like a week and then sleep for another week, and wake up with everything resolved and without anxiety and all of this weirdness.
I’m looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, if only to have something to do. And I’m beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t seriously consider medication again; I swear everything makes me anxious. I can’t make any decisions and I’m constantly just terrified that I’m making some huge mistake, and I’m exhausted.