#pick up fail

[kelvin-melvin]

Every day my girlfriend goes into work, I wonder if she will return still gay and/or my girlfriend. The competition is fierce.

[enjoyedtheconvo-blog]

Him: We’re like an old couple who made it through WWII

Me: Yeah, and are still feeling the effects of nuclear waste

[killherinstinct-blog]

I usually blur out user names and images but fuck that shit! I've blocked and reported him as this dude is using a stolen picture and lying about his age but he's still somehow messaging me?! Ugh 😒

[mikethesoz-blog]

[swedegirl66]

Guy that's trying to pick me up: So what do you do for kicks?

Me: Read gay porn on tumblr

Guy:..........

[snacktimecartoon]

[eso-c-k-es]

Are you a cigarette? Cause you got a hot butt

[miss-maela]

I got hit on while pumping gas today

a middle-aged business man of undetermined ethnicity hit on me, saying he "liked a juicy woman". I was glad I could truthfully say I was taken. "Juicy" is not a word I've heard to describe me or any other fat woman. It kind of made me feel like a rotisserie chicken.