#pickingmyselfup

[zecaffeinatedmumbler]

Sometimes, We Struggle, We Stumble, And We Fall To The Ground, But Even In The Sores From The Fall, We Choose To Pick Ourselves Up, Dust Off The Dirt And The Scruff, And Just Choose To Carry On, Anyways ❤️‍🩹 (Also, I Slipped And Fell in An Unpaved Sidewalk Earlier, Hence The Knee Pain And The Scruff On My Docs 🤣) #LifeOfAWanderingWanderer #Mood #StubbornHeart #Resilient #PickingMyselfUp #StrugglesAreTemporary #CarryingOn #LosAngeles #DowntownLA #HappyMonday (at Downtown Los Angeles) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqULjsVJFtLMc-reF-zifwOda6EO7bVoTfa_FY0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[justtryingtooperate-blog]

Today was a really hard day. My psychiatrist had to drop me as a patient because they are expanding their practice with their partner and I no longer fit the criteria. I started as a patient with this person 5 years ago. I moved away for a year and when I moved back, tracked them down at their new practice. All I received was a letter. Waiting for that call back with some referrals and to see if I can have my medications refilled while I search for a new person. I absolutely hate starting with new psychiatrists for the simple fact that I hate going through my life story. Change can be good sometimes, but this really hurt. (I think I place too much of my own worth in other people's hands)

I almost broke down constantly today as well. Just trying so hard to hold everything in. Had to excuse myself for a moment from the project I was working on to go breathe and shake in another office. Came out of absolutely nowhere.

I'm home now. All I look forward to everyday is to sit outside of my home, stare at the trees or my phone, and chain smoke.

[smellyfacelifechange]

Stayed the same today!!! I am so happy! I had a week of destruction for my birthday so to stay the same is unbelievable! This week I'm jumping in with both feet! I know I've sad this a lot over the past few months but I really mean it this time. I had a customer come into work yesterday asking me if she could ask me a personal question and I said of course. She told me how she suffers from anxiety and panic attacks (much like myself) and she asked me whether I thought she was too thin. I said no she looked healthy and fit. She then asked me if I loved myself and liked what I saw in the mirror and I answered her honestly. I said no. I surprised myself by saying that. I'm not happy in my body or my mind. She gave me the biggest hug anyone has ever given me and thanked me for my honesty. I haven't stopped thinking about that conversation. While I was waiting in the line to pay for class this morning I saw this book and had to buy it. I am a firm believer that's everything happens for a reason and I am motivated to make myself happy again and to get back to where I was before I went to America in September #onwardsandupwards #weightwatchersireland #weightwatchers #weighin #weighday #weeightlossblog #pickingmyselfup