My friends think that the F-35 is shit because "muh jack-of-all-trades master-of-none" compared to even the A-10, F-15 and F-16. How do I refute them because i'm not such a huge plane faggot?
Just tell them that you want to... play a game. My favorite game:
GUESS THAT FIGHTER PLANE!
The question for today’s episode: “One of these planes is a purpose-built master-of-one, and the second, a multi-role master of everything. Which is which?” Good luck, contestants!
Plane 1: This aircraft was purpose built as a high-altitude, high-speed, high-performance, long-range fighter for purposes of bomber escort and/or long-range bomber intercept (a crucial concern before ICBMs largely replaced strategic bombers in the 70s.) The aircraft was notably massive for a fighter, but only utilized one engine to keep the aircraft's cross-section narrower for horizontal high-speed performance. Much of the size and weight was induced by the terribly complex air compression equipment vital to its record-breaking altitude performance - it resulted in a plane that couldn't accelerate well (crucial for dogfighters,) but had an incredible sustained speed. It drew a lot of flak due to its big size (literally and figuratively,) much like the F-14 would after it. Its maneuverability was average to poor down low, but at its intended operating altitudes it was marvelously nimble in the thin air. Plane 2: This one was "multi-role," but gained enduring recognition for its role in ground-attack, at which it absolutely excelled. It carried an incredible ordinance load and was legendarily durable, to the point of coming home missing entire wingtips or with fuselages you could see daylight through. It was also capable as a fighter, making it more useful than purpose-built CAS planes, as it required little to no fighter escort to and from the objective. Much like the SAAB Gripen, it was rugged and reliable enough to operate from improvised strips close to the front line and was fairly easy to turn around for fast repeat strikes. It was also handy in a dogfight; possessing a decent turn rate, good roll rate and good energy-retention qualities, as well as stable and forgiving low-speed handling, crucial in close-in stall fights. This saved it many times against lightweight purpose-built air superiority fighters who's high-speed designs often had savage and unforgiving stall characteristics; a bad thing at low-altitude where this plane spent much of its time.
Made your guesses? Write them down and save them for later, because now it's time for ROUND TWO!
Plane 3: This aircraft was designed to meet an exacting government specification for a fast-climbing, hard hitting interceptor with good altitude performance (ideal for fending off incoming strategic bombers in those pre-ICBM years.) It utilized novel construction techniques to reduce drag and set a speed record for American-built aircraft. Similar to the F-102 Delta Dagger, it ran afoul of high-speed aerodynamic effects that were poorly understood in its day, necessitating several modifications and improvements. It established an envious reputation as an interceptor and fighter, much better than the lamentable F-104 Starfighter.Plane 4: This twin-engined multi-role aircraft proved to be a capable workhorse and a benefit to the Air Force. Much like the Me-110 and Bristol Beaufighter of the WWII era, this twin-engined plane was originally designed as a long-range escort for bombers but later found much wider use in many roles. And while it fared better decently in the escort role, new, more effective designs with more advanced engines soon supplanted it. But as a big twin-engined plane, it proved to have a lot of room and a lot of power, making it easily adapted to many important jobs - it was equipped as night interceptor/night fighter (this was in the days before "all-weather" was something you could say of any plane on the airfield,) used for photo-recon, converted to a light level bomber and a few were even converted into small transport planes. Its maneuverability aside, it was a good stable gun platform and featured a center-line mounted gun of caliber bigger than any contemporary (postwar US was making the 20mm cannon standard while everyone else was moving to 30mm!)
And now it's time for the BONUS ROUND! Bonus rounds are supposed to be hard but these two are actually really easy, heh!
Plane 5: This Navy carrier fighter was designed to a specification requiring maximum possible speed, with the only ordinance requirement being specific high-power anti-bomber weaponry (and nothing for ground attack) - in other words, a fleet defense interceptor. The aircraft featured an unusual wing design that facilitated both its high-speed intercept role and the low stall speed required for carrier landings. In its early years it was plagued with teething problems, especially with the powerplant. It was a notably big aircraft and was criticized on this point, but eventually proved its worth over the course of many years and conflicts.Plane 6: Originally employed as a multi-role aircraft, this famous Navy plane soon supplanted or outright replaced obsolete or under-performing aircraft in the strike role with minimal modifications. While it couldn't turn very well, it was so powerful and fast that it soon found wide use on both land and sea, despite originally being built as a carrier aircraft. It looked ungainly and massive but flew fast and hit hard, and it endures as one of the most famous "Cold War Warriors" ever built.
AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR: THE BIG REVEAL!
Round One! --Plane #1!--Plane #2!Round Two!--Plane #3!--Plane #4!BONUS ROUND!If you thought Plane #5 was the F-14 Tomcat, SURPRISE! If you thought Plane #6 was the F-4 Phantom, close, but no cigar!
And now, for our FABULOUS PRIZES!
If you scored all the points or won the bonus round, you win a smug sense of superiority over the Ace Combat kiddies. Hold it close. Treasure its warm glow.
If you scored one point in round One and Two, but failed the Bonus Round, you get a valuable lesson. Here it is: “Real-world engineering doesn’t work like min-maxing stats in a video game, you dumb son of a bitch.”
If you scored no points, you win a punch in the fucking neck for parroting the stupidest Cawadoody kiddie “critique” your atrophied brain could manage to memorize like the knuckle-dragging, shit flinging simian you are. If you have ever, ever, ever used that god damned “JOAT” phrase to criticize the F-35, I hope you spontaneously combust.
(To my anonymous asker: show your “friends” this post. I mean it.)
