#pittmedic

[lcveblossomed]

@pittmedic asked: fall in love whenever you can. - whitaker

Dennis lets out a small laugh, if only it was that easy. Nothing felt easy to him. Even with how determined he was he'd almost been unable to get into college. He'd had to work up the courage to transition and tell his parents. It had taken a lot out of him to move across the country. Everything was... too goddamn much. Life felt like a struggle and he was just scraping by. He knew it would get better one day but that felt like a million years from now.

All of that to say love was the last thing on his mind. How was he supposed to find love if he felt like he could barely make it to next week? "You make it sound so easy." He wraps his arms around his middle like he's trying to shrink himself. Maybe he is he really isn't sure. He looks ahead instead of over at Sami. "I just don't think I'm built for that stuff I guess. I don't know if there's ever gonna be a right moment."

[lcveblossomed]

@pittmedic asked: send “you okay?” to find my muse sitting alone on a roof at night. samira

The door opens at the worst time. As soft sobs make her shoulders shake. She'd held it in as long as she could but she couldn't help it. She hadn't even made it to the ledge like she'd wanted it. She'd made it ten whole steps before she fell to her knees. Dirt on her scrub pants and tears rolling down her cheeks. She's a mess. She's such a goddamn mess. She's so ashamed of herself for acting like she had. For not picking up on everything. She's a fuck up. She's such a fuck up.

That question quiets he cries to sniffles. Her hands bunch up in her scrub pants at her thighs. She shakes her head no, "You know I thought today was gonna be a good day. It's... it's my dad's birthday. I've got a stupid cupcake I paid too much for sitting in my fridge. I was gonna eat it and watch one of his favorite movies. It feels so stupid now."

She won't look anywhere but ahead too scared that she'll cry if she looks at another person. "He would hate this.... all of this. He was so big on justice. He wanted to right wrongs and make the world a better place. I thought that if I became a doctor I could keep doing that work. I guess.... i don't know I guess I'm wrong. I guess I'm not my dad."

[lcveblossomed]

@pittmedic asked: send “you okay?” to find my muse sitting alone on a roof at night. (whitaker)

This had to look bad. Whitaker didn't know why he'd gone so close to the edge of the roof. All he wanted really was to look up at the sky. The city was too polluted with light to see stars. As he white knuckled the hand rail though he tried to imagine the stars there. Sprinkling the sky with little bits of hope. Giving him a reason to focus because he could pick constellations. That's what he used to do back home when he felt anxiety bubbling up. Take deep breaths and try to remember where the various constellations were in the sky.

Dennis looks back letting out a nervous exhale as he does. He wasn't going to jump... Sami knew that right? He tries to read the others face to figure out how much trouble he's in. All he can imagine is getting put in a padded room for 72 hours. Oh that would be back. So he gets back on the other side of the railing fast. So fast he almost slips. How ridiculous was he being right now?

"I just got a phone call and was stressed. I thought maybe if I came to the roof I'd see a few stars. It's stupid. I just..." He goes quiet for a moment and thinks about that call. About his mother proudly announcing that they were going to visit. His first visit with his parents since he'd left for med school. It makes him queasy just thinking about it. "It's hard to explain."