#pixxl rambles

[pixxlotl]

ok this is Watcher vibes right

[pixxlhearts]

getting drunk together and you teasing me more as the night goes on. you keep offering me another shot, just another, and why not one more after that? i'm in a daze at this point, i get pleasantly dizzy when you push me onto the bed with far less force than it would usually take, and i don't notice when you pull my pants off. trace your hands over my thighs, my hips, barely missing my clit as i squirm even more, trying to thrust into your hand, wanting some form of stimulation.

you finally, finally start rubbing my clit and between the alcohol and the teasing, that alone has me shaking, already close after only a bit. i gasp as you shove a toy up my hole, and when it starts vibrating that's what takes me over the edge.

it doesn't stop, though; no, you turn it up and keep rubbing my clit, and while the alcohol keeps the overstim feeling good i'm forced to cum over and over again.

[pixxl-sunsets]

☀︎ To anyone who needs to hear it:

Yes, it’s okay if you accidentally set your phone down on your altar for 5 seconds. No, it does not mean you accidentally offered it.

You don’t need to give food offerings if you can’t/it stresses you out. You don’t need to give offerings every day if you can’t/it stresses you out.

It’s not expected of you to do more than you’re capable of. The gods care about you and want what’s best for you. If your practice is burning you out, you’re extending yourself past your bandwidth, or you’re doing things that cause you stress, take a step back and reevaluate why you’re doing it.

Your practice is meant to add to your life, and that means doing things the way they work for you.

[pixxl-axolotl]

system who refers to their innerworld as the headquarters. is this anything

[pixxlotl]

Going with the "Grian is the one who designed this game as opposed to the others" headcanon, it makes you think about the superpowers he gave his friends, how they were all laughing and having fun in the beginning, and that was intentional. It goes to show that even when forced to design the death game his friends are put through (a punishment for trying to usurp the Watchers time and time again), he still cares. They all know he's the one who designed this game, and he hopes they realize the little mercies he's giving them.

He gives Cleo the power to bring people back from the dead, just so he can have a chance to see his best friend again.

He gives Pearl the power to fly, and hopes she appreciates having her wings back, if only for a short time.

Jimmy gets to go invisible because Grian knows the Watchers aren't happy with the curse being broken. He wants to protect him.

As for Martyn? Grian doesn't really know a lot about what's going on with him and the Listeners, but he might as well try to strengthen that connection in the little ways he can without arising suspicion.

He says it himself in the beginning, "let's not forget this is a PVP series," but it sounds hollow even to his own ears. It's pandering to the watching eyes, making them think the lighthearted fun is all unintentional.

He falls out of the sky with the wings he gave to Pearl, and he wonders if the Watchers are starting to catch on.

[pixxlotl]

The watchers hate scott because basically he breaks their rules, doesn't go along with their misery-making machine, right? I see people talk about this most commonly referring to how he decided not to kill as the boogey in last life, but I thought of a couple more examples of this too.

So, I present to you:

A Noncomprehensive List* of Reasons** the Watchers Hate Scott Smajor

1) Third life. he transcended the death loop (temporarily probably) with the power of his grief alone by entering an afterlife sort of thing and pulling his husband into it. his husband, who will grow to be the most entertaining toy in their little sandbox with his canary curse.

2) The obvious. In last life, he chooses not to kill as a boogeyman, instead taking the hit himself.

3) in double life, he decides to choose his own soulmate rather than stay with Pearl.

4) at the end of limited life, he is one of 3 remaining. him, Martyn, and Impulse are to do a fist fight to the death with no armor, which is something that if i remember correctly, he suggested (I might be wrong and should probably fact-check before posting but hush). Fair fighting = no betrayals = less misery for the watchers to feed on (he was backstabbed but shhh)

5) secret life, he gives up his life to gem, who was on his team, when he gets down to a few hearts. he does this because it will give her 10 hearts when she kills him. he bypasses the watchers' game design

*May or may not be entirely accurate as OP has not rewatched Scott's life series in a hot minute

**May or may not be OP's personal headcanon

[pixxlotl]

[pixxlotl]

i saw someone post abt how bloodletting spiraling into mutual destruction caused the fans to be like "ok lets just add louis into the mix thatll fix it" and someone said that owen wouldnt need fixing since it was louis's death that broke him. like. he wouldnt just be fine?? it was his partner dying yes, but also the 200 years of nonstop grief, of that moment replaying in his mind over and over and the rage towards the townsfolk building. it was the events of vampires, as he chose over and over to lean into that, to lean away from healing.

i imagine louis coming back and owen thinking to himself it can all be normal again. and being surprised when he still exhibits periods of violence and rage, and spiraling more because of it. because his partner is back! everything is okay now!

and then there's the whole mess between him and legs. that wouldn't become fine and good either. even disregarding the events of vampires for a second, legs has his own baggage that he carried into that dynamic, baggage that he's carried with him for years and that he hasn't moved on from yet. he has a very skewed vision of what it means to be a good person which has caused him to be incredibly self-sacrificing.

adding louis into the mix may stabilize things a bit but hooh boy it would Not fix either of them.