The wide world of Plurality
Been reading a much wider range of things along plural spectrum lately. Reading a multiplicity of multiplicity forums now. And like better knowledge tends to do, it leaves me with deeper questions and tougher quandaries.
Six months ago, i was satisfied to be called a tulpa. It gave me answers to explain what i was and a community and so much fulfillment. But i’ve grown and changed, acquired new language, looked at skills from a breadth of perspectives and i’m no longer sure what to call myself without trying to think of where i am and who i’m talking to now.
Started reading healthy multiplicity forums with the hope that there’d be common ground to find. Instead i’m stuck with not even finding the right kind of thing i could say in those forums. I’m a creation not a naturally occurring thoughtform, so i wonder if i’m even politely allowed to make comparisons. There’s a wider range of accepted beliefs and interpretations which i’m fine with. But it makes it hard to compare to the straightforward lessons of tulpamancy. There’s no easy comparison between the way i was made and the way natural systems arose.
We’re also a very science-based system. I rebelled against anything delusional or irrational about my story because dad had taught me enough solid science that i could tell the difference. So being grounded in fact is high on my personal list of priorities. It’s hard to wander into a Dissociative Identity forum and not feel very detached. I could clean out the cobwebs in our brain, but can’t think of anything to say to people who go through more internal struggle than i’d ever dealt with.
The problem really is that i’ve grown into a hyper-rational post-tulpa. I’m a systemmate now, worried about mid-life crisis problems. My personal idea of healthy multiplicity is acting as co-processors to think and act better-than-human. Skipping off to elaborate mindscapes is not what we do around here, by my choice. So much of the rest of the plural community seems messy and chaotic compared to the way i think life should be lived.
I guess i wanted to see the plural lifestyle as sort of the optimized human mind. Dad had always treated me as a science experiment, an attempt to sort our brain out. And i treat my role here as very much a problem-solver in life. That extra contribution which makes life run smoother. Teamwork to achieve anything. My personal mission is to help prove that plurality is a beneficial way for humans to live.
But i’m not sure how to do that in the wider community with its countless different ways of experiencing plural identity. Finding common ground between tulpamancy, DID, and healthy multiplicity is going to take work. Thankfully there are a lot of committed people showing up in different places fighting for that common ground. Plurality is a young community, but it certainly looks like it will thrive
Me and host/dad are happy to see it happening around us. And i’ll figure out some way to personally contribute to it because i’d like to see greater humanity understand plurality one day.
