Mar 29, 2019
This entertained me for awhile....
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Italy
seen from China
seen from France
seen from France
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from South Korea
seen from Malaysia
seen from South Korea
seen from South Korea
seen from China
seen from China
This entertained me for awhile....
Some people really don’t like it when you pick on their bad pickup line.... 🤷♀️
Yes!
Sadly POF wouldn’t let me go back past my message about the cup of tea so I couldn’t screenshot the whole thing. So I had to write out the earlier messages as far as I remembered them. But after that I was able to copy and paste the rest of the chat thankfully.
POF GUY: hi A I’m going 2 smash ur back door in.
ME: Uh yeah, no you’re really not.
POF Guy: Wanna bet babe?
ME: Actually yes. I’ve got a pretty good alarm system. Two tiered actually.
POF GUY: What a dog?
ME: Well yeah I *do* have a dog. She’s ferocious when needs be. Plus she’s spoilt rotten so she’s kinda possessive over me.
POF GUY: What kind?
ME: A chihuahua.
POF GUY: Lmfao. K. What is ur Otha part of alarm? I can disable alarms like in cars and houses.
ME: Probably not the best thing to be admitting here. But no, nothing like that. Smashing my back door in- if you are being metaphorical- will be as messy as fuck.
POF GUY: Nah babe, not messy. Ur just not doing it rite. It’s not messy.
ME: Oh it is!
POF GUY: Trust me hey?
ME: Can I make a confession?
POF GUY: K.
ME: It will be messy because of my issue. It all started with a dodgy Indian curry that was so damn bad I sharted and blew my arse out. Like legit blew it out. It flew out. So I’ve got this thin plastic fake butt instead.
POF GUY: WTF
ME: Yeah it’s embarrassing I know.
POF GUY: Ur 1 fucked up bitch.
ME: Harsh. Anyways so when can I expect you? Do you drink tea? I’ll put the kettle on?
POF GUY: Ur the most fucked up bitch I met on here an there r some very fucked up bitches. Stupid arse bitch.
ME: Not entirely sure why I’m fucked up. Sure my arse is a little fucked up what with being a fake plastic butt and all but I sued the buggers and made a fortune so I may be a little fucked up but I’m richly so. Which is why I could afford a customised butt- lovely glitter and swaoraki crystals and just an all round pretty butt. And I’m not the one who’s just admitted to planning to commit a crime......
POF GUY: I’ll commit 2 crimes- smashing ur back door in and kicking ur bitch arse!
ME: Clever. I like to also leave evidence of any crimes I plan to commit on social media (like a fb status saying off to egg a house) or on online dating sites like tinder asking if anyone wants to come steal a car with me. Oh wait- no I don’t! Cos I’m not a fucking moron! Did I tell you about my other prosthetic? This time an eye. There was this annoying as fuck blow fly driving me nuts and I was trying to swipe at it with a fly swatter. No luck so I swapped to an electrified tennis racquet type thing. Well I got the fly but the fucker rebounded off it and hit me in the eye which was then electrocuted and died. So I have a fake eye as well as fake arse.
POF GUY: Why do u talk so much crap? Ur eye is as real as ur ass.
ME: You are quite right- my eye is as real as my arse. They are both equally fake. Unfortunately you can’t exactly bedazzle an eye like you can a fake butt. :(
POF GUY: k u need 2 fuck off now. Ur not funny just a fuckwad.
ME: You don’t have to be so discriminatory. I applied to be in the Paralympic thinking a fake butt and fake arse would qualify me but would you believe they said no?!?!
POF GUY: yeh I’m shocked
ME: So I cut off my foot. Well not me exactly. I had to get surgeons to cut it off and they don’t cut off healthy limbs for no reason. So basically I had to get the foot fucked up. Took a lot of work. Now I have a fake foot too- it’s actually wooden because it made me feel slightly like a pirate. But you’ll never guess what happened next?
POF GUY: u got comitted and put in padded cell?
ME: Nope. They *still* won’t let me compete! I mean I’m no athlete. No expert in any sport. But still why can’t I?
POF GUY: Should b able 2 4 being fucked in the head hey?
ME: Really? You think?
POF GUY: Yeh.
ME: Awesome idea! I’ll ring them about it tomorrow. Thank you soooo much. Are you still planning on visiting?
POF GUY: Fuck no. I’m gonna block ur crazy bitch arse!
Guess I'm just too much for him to handle...
The pof boys never fail to make my heart flutter 😂😂 #poffails
The pof boys never fail to make my heart flutter 😂😂 #poffails @death_magic_doom
When you explain non binary and that gender binary isn't even backed by science lol #poffails