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The Adults of Stain'd-by-the-Sea: Polly Partial (All the Wrong Questions)
"Well, at least your new job gives you time to read," I said, pointing at the book. "How are you enjoying that?" "Not so well," she said. "I’ve never liked that book." "Oh, I think the book is very good," she said. "It’s just that I was interrupted while I was reading it by some boy who keeps asking me questions."
Sharon Haines : Ooooh! Hello there! Are you married?
Polly Partial : No.
Sharon Haines : Then you have a boyfriend?
Polly Partial : No!
Sharon Haines : So you have a girlfriend?
Polly Partial : NO!!!
Sharon Haines : But you have a stylist? Nevermind, I've figured that one already.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. I once saw Polly Partial put sunscreen on a grape because she didn’t want it to become a raisin.
Sally Murphy, “Why Is This Night Different From All Other Nights?”
Mimi Mitchum : So, how are you feeling lately?
Polly Partial : Well, I've got this headache that comes and goes...
Lemony Snicket : [*enters the room*]
Polly Partial : There it is...
Being friendly is a waste of time... "How are you, I'm great, how are you, I'm great..." Back and forth until you die.
Polly Partial, When Did You See Her Last?
S. Theodora Markson : Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Polly Partial : Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, we could have been sisters. Running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So hop it.
Hungry Hix : Er... Hey, Polly, um, how's it goin'?
Polly Partial : Well, I'm forty-seven, and I'm still living with my parents in Stain'd-by-the-Sea. I have an Art History degree from night school. My cat just died. I've lost 25 percent control of my sphincter muscles. I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat. I drive a '91 Dodge Neon. I have ovarian cysts. Sometimes, I pee the bed still. I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48-year-old manager at Pizza Street, PS, he only has one ball...
Polly Partial : So I guess... better than you.
Hungry Hix : ...
