S. Theodora Markson : You shouldn’t insult people who are bigger than you.
Lemony Snicket : Then I wouldn’t get to insult anyone.
Three Goblin Art
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Not today Justin
Game of Thrones Daily
trying on a metaphor

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AnasAbdin

izzy's playlists!
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pixel skylines
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
i don't do bad sauce passes

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Kaledo Art
DEAR READER
Cosimo Galluzzi

roma★
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@incorrectsnicketquotes
S. Theodora Markson : You shouldn’t insult people who are bigger than you.
Lemony Snicket : Then I wouldn’t get to insult anyone.
Lemony Snicket : Aha! It appears Hangfire has locked the door behind us. Thankfully, as part of my training, my knowledge of lockpicking will get us out of here in no t/
Cleo Knight : [cuts a hole into the door with an axe]
Cleo Knight : Come on, let's go!
Cleo Knight : ...Lemony, are you seriously picking the lock of a goddamn broken d/
Lemony Snicket : I AM NOT GIVING YOU THE SATISFACTION.
Klaus Baudelaire : Hello, Fiona. How are you today?
Captain Widdershins : [watching] Oh, they fuckin'. Look at dem sparks!
Phil : [watching] What? No. They're just saying "hi" to each other...
Fiona Widdershins : I'm doing well. How about you, Klaus?
Phil: [gasp] God, they fuckin'!
Captain Widdershins : OH, THEY FAAAAWKINN!!!
Money cannot buy happiness. But it can buy alcohol, and that's a start.
Count Olaf, “The Bad Beginning”
Olivia Caliban : I see in my crystal ball that you're going to feel happy tomorrow.
Fernald : Oh, good.
Olivia Caliban : Must be broken. Hang on a sec.
Moxie Mallahan : I love that “take out” can mean food, dating, or murder.
Ellington Feint : If you’re a praying mantis it can be all three at once.
R., Duchess of Winnipeg : You need a hobby.
Lemony Snicket : I have a hobby.
R., Duchess of Winnipeg : Staring at Beatrice's face is not a hobby.
Lemony Snicket : You're right; it's a profession and I excel at it.
Sharon Haines : Raising children gave so much meaning to my life.
S. Theodora Markson : I see what you mean. The second I saw Kellar with you, I thought "ooooh, so THIS is what she's good at!"
So I quit academia. It hasn't always been easy, but on those nights when I'm scrubbing some ninety-years old bitch's strawberry vomit out of my upholstery, I try to remind myself that at least no one's ever going again to force me to read the f***ing "Phenomenology of Spirit".
Lemony Snicket, foreword of the un-Authorized Autobiography
Lemony Snicket : I feel like you’re out of my league.
Beatrice Baudelaire : You’re right, but I hate myself too much to have standards.
Klaus Baudelaire : I don't know why everybody worries how good they look... Nobody cares about fashion.
Esme Squalor : Er, I do? Olaf? The Poes? Geraldine Julienne?
Klaus Baudelaire : Ah, sorry, I mispronounced that... "NOBODIES care about fashion".
Charles : You're too hard on Sir. He's not mean-spirited, je just has... a tendancy to put his foot in his mouth.
Violet Baudelaire : Oh yeah? Well watch me kick his butt... I'm sure MY foot will end up in the same place.
Mimi Mitchum : God, Harvey is SUCH an asshole, you have no idea. But I'm a bitch to deal with too, so... it's okay? I guess? ...Anyway, how are things with you and Cleo Knight?
Jake Hix : Uh, not so good. Awful, really.
Mimi Mitchum : What? Really?
Jake Hix : ...No, things are great. I just felt bad for bringing it up.
Ellington Feint : Does... EVERYONE in Stain'd-by-the-Sea have weird emotional issues?
Hangfire : Eh, the Bombinating Beast's probably fine.
Madame Lulu's fashion sense confuses me. I don't know whether to put ten dollar bills in her underwear... or just coins in a cup.
Esme Gigi Geniveve Squalor, “The Carnivorous Carnival”
Beatrice Baudelaire : What is it with you hipster kids enjoying things "ironically"? Can't you enjoy ANYTHING without being concerned about its cultural trappings?
Esmé Squalor : Are you kidding? The dust is barely settled on irony's coffin. I'm still far too self-conscious as a fashion icon to actually enjoy something for what it is.
Beatrice Baudelaire : I don't know, Esmé. Judging by the size of your butt, you clearly don't have any trouble appreciating donuts for what they are.
Kit Snicket : I've decided to let Olaf back into my life for the time being... on a provisional basis.
Lemony Snicket : On a provisional basis?
Kit Snicket : That's girl-code for "the boy has to do whatever the girl likes until further notice, before which she withholds sex as emotional blackmail".
Jacques Snicket : Hm. That sounds more like "marriage" to me.