Warnings - mentions of smoking weed, mentions of posting nudes, lingerie pic,
After dinner, Seoyoon felt the need for something to calm her mind again. She entered her room quietly, the weight of the night still lingering in her chest. The boys were kind, doting on her, but there was a part of her that felt like she needed some space to breathe, to process everything. The room felt suffocating, and the silence made her thoughts too loud.
She sat on the edge of her bed, reached for the drawer in her nightstand, and pulled out a small bag. Inside were the herbs she kept hidden, a little escape. She ran her fingers through the dried buds, appreciating their earthy scent as she set them down on the small rolling tray. It was a ritual she’d done countless times before, one that had always been comforting, like a soothing balm for her restless mind.
Seoyoon picked up a thin sheet of rolling paper, gently unfolding it between her fingers. She worked slowly, methodically—pressing the paper into shape, aligning the edge with the strip of filter she had pre-rolled. Her hands were steady as she gently packed the ground buds into the paper, rolling it back and forth to ensure an even consistency.
With a gentle flick of her fingers, she tucked in the edge, sealing it with a swift lick, and then twisted the end into a neat little knot. The blunt was thick, well-packed, and perfect, the end shining faintly in the dim light of her room. She admired her work, taking in the sight of it for a moment before sliding it into her pocket.
She stood up and moved to the door, opening it quietly so as not to draw attention. The boys were scattered around the living room, but no one noticed her slip out. She had learned to be discreet about these things.
“Hey, I’m going for a short walk to clear my head,” she called softly, leaning into the doorframe.
Chan looked up from the couch, brow furrowed slightly. “Are you sure, Yoonie? It’s getting pretty late…”
“I’ll be fine,” she reassured him, her tone light, but her words were laced with something else, something deeper she couldn’t quite name. She didn’t want to burden them with her need for space. “I’ll just smoke for a bit. Won’t be long.”
There was a brief pause before Felix, ever the thoughtful one, spoke up, his voice laced with concern. “If you’re sure, but just… be careful, okay? Call us if you need anything.”
Seoyoon gave them a small smile, a mixture of gratitude and guilt swirling within her. “I will. I promise.”
They all looked at her, a shared hesitance hanging in the air. It was clear they wanted to say more, but ultimately, they dropped it, trusting her to know her limits. She was, after all, an adult, but the protective instincts they had for her were so evident it almost made her feel more vulnerable.
She slipped out the front door into the cool night air, the crispness biting at her cheeks as she walked down the street. The sky above was dotted with distant stars, and the streetlamps cast a soft glow on the sidewalk, casting elongated shadows. She tucked the blunt between her lips, lighting it with a flick of her lighter. The first pull was always the best—rich and full, filling her lungs with warmth that spread quickly to the rest of her body.
She exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl into the cool night air, feeling the tension in her chest start to dissipate. The world felt quieter now. It always did when she smoked—everything seemed a little softer, more manageable. It gave her space to think, to be by herself without the pressure of constant interaction.
Her mind wandered back to her OnlyFans. It had been a little while since she posted anything new. She’d been gaining traction, but she needed to keep it fresh, keep people wanting more. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, the screen lighting up with her notifications—more followers, more likes, more comments. It made her feel… wanted. Validated, in a way she couldn’t quite explain.
Maybe she’d post something new tonight. Something more daring? She thought about the photos she’d taken earlier—the sultry ones, the ones that felt like a little part of her was being shared with the world. She pulled up the photos on her phone, staring at them for a moment before slipping into a trance-like state, the joint burning down between her fingers, the air around her getting a little hazier, warmer.
She was so caught up in the thoughts of captions, angles, lighting—so lost in it all—that she didn’t even realize how much time had passed until her phone rang.
The screen lit up with Chan’s name, his contact photo flashing before her eyes.
“Yoonie?” His voice was filled with gentle concern, even through the phone. “Are you okay? You’ve been out for a while.”
Seoyoon blinked, glancing around at her surroundings, realizing just how far she had walked. It was almost surreal—how time could slip by unnoticed. She quickly snuffed out the blunt, tossing it into a nearby trashcan, and straightened herself up. “Yeah… I’m fine. I just got lost in my head for a bit. I’ll head back now.”
“Good. We were getting worried,” he said, the warmth in his voice apparent even over the phone. “Take your time, but don’t stay out too long. We’re all waiting for you.”
Seoyoon smiled softly, feeling a little warmth spread through her chest at the thought of them waiting for her. “I won’t. Be home in a bit.”
She made her way back to the apartment, the familiar streetlights guiding her as the cool night air calmed her racing thoughts. When she arrived back, she felt a quiet sense of relief at the thought of seeing all of their familiar faces, knowing that, even in her quietest moments, she wasn’t truly alone.
When Seoyoon walked back into the apartment, she was greeted by a mix of laughter and playful banter. The boys were lounging in the living room, sprawled across the couches and the floor. As soon as she stepped inside, Hyunjin perked up, throwing an arm over the back of the couch dramatically.
“Ah, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence!” he teased, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
“You were gone forever, Yoonie,” Jisung chimed in, feigning a pout. “Did you get lost or something? Need a guide next time?”
Seoyoon rolled her eyes, kicking off her shoes. “Oh, please. You act like I was gone for hours. What’d you even do without me?”
“Barely survived,” Felix said, clutching his chest like he’d been through some terrible ordeal. “I don’t know how we made it, honestly.”
The room erupted into laughter, and Seoyoon couldn’t help but smile, the warmth of their energy helping to shake off the remnants of her earlier mood. She plopped down on the floor next to Jeongin, who subtly shifted to make space for her.
“So, what were you doing out there all alone at night?” Changbin asked, leaning forward with a mischievous grin. “Secret mission? Were you meeting someone?”
“Obviously not,” Seoyoon shot back, smirking. “I don’t have time for secret missions. Besides, if I were meeting someone, you’d all scare them off.”
Minho raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying we’re intimidating?”
“More like overwhelming,” she said with a laugh, dodging the pillow he tossed her way.
The teasing and chatter went on for a while, lighthearted and fun, the kind of energy Seoyoon needed after such a heavy day. But after a few rounds of playful banter, she stretched her arms and stood up. “Alright, boys, I’m heading to my room. Don’t miss me too much.”
“Too late,” Jeongin mumbled under his breath, quiet enough that only Seoyoon caught it. She shot him a playful wink before retreating to the sanctuary of her room.
Once inside, she shut the door and leaned against it for a moment, letting out a soft sigh. The lively atmosphere outside had been wonderful, but there was something about the quiet of her room that felt like home.
She walked over to her desk, setting her phone down before slipping out of her hoodie. Tonight, she wanted to push the envelope a little more. Her posts had been gaining traction faster than she’d anticipated, and she could already see the potential this could have. If she played it right, she might be able to secure a steady stream of income without worrying about job hunting for a while.
Seoyoon adjusted the lighting in her room, opting for something softer, warmer, and more flattering. She set up her phone, angling it carefully on her makeshift tripod. Pulling her hair loose from its tie, she let it cascade over her shoulders and slipped into something more sultry—a lacy set she’d bought on a whim but had never had the confidence to wear until now.
As she posed in front of the camera, she checked each shot carefully, adjusting her angles and expression to find what worked best. The photos were coming out beautifully—teasing, suggestive, but still tasteful. But as she glanced at one of the shots, her smile faltered.
Her wrist was partially visible in the frame, and the faint scars there stood out more than she’d expected. She froze for a moment, the sight of them pulling her out of her confident headspace. The scars weren’t fresh, but they were still a reminder of a time she wasn’t proud of—a time she’d worked so hard to move past.
“Ugh,” she muttered, lowering the phone and staring at the image. The scars weren’t obvious, but they were there, and she worried about how they might be perceived. After a moment of hesitation, she told herself it wasn’t a big deal. “I’ll just have to find better angles… or edit them out,” she said softly, trying to reassure herself.
Pushing the thought to the back of her mind, Seoyoon adjusted her position and continued taking photos. She tried different poses, letting the camera capture the best of her, angles that highlighted her figure while keeping the scars hidden. When she was satisfied, she started editing the images, adding a soft filter and cropping them just right before posting them.
The response was almost immediate. Her followers were eating it up, showering her posts with likes and comments. It gave her a rush, a mix of validation and excitement. She even teased her first live stream, promising her followers a chance to hear her voice and chat with her directly. The comments exploded with excitement, and she smiled, feeling a little more in control of her situation.
The rest of the night was spent setting up her payment plans and flirting with potential customers. She carefully navigated the conversations, keeping her tone flirty and engaging while maintaining boundaries. It felt like a game, a performance she was starting to get the hang of.
By the time she finally crawled into bed, her phone was buzzing with notifications, her follower count steadily climbing. She smiled to herself, a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction washing over her. Maybe this could work. Maybe this was the start of something good.
A few days had passed, and Seoyoon had grown closer to the boys. Their easygoing personalities and shared jokes made her feel like part of the family. Between late-night talks, shared meals, and spontaneous karaoke sessions, she found herself more comfortable around them than she’d been around anyone in a long time. The boys had even taken her to their music studio—a space that felt like the heart of their world. Watching them work had been both fascinating and endearing, seeing how much passion and effort they poured into their craft.
Now, they were all piled into the living room. Felix and Changbin were sprawled out on the floor with snacks scattered between them, while Seungmin, Jeongin, and Jisung occupied the couch. Chan and Minho sat cross-legged on the carpet, and Hyunjin was perched on the armrest, aimlessly scrolling on his phone. Seoyoon sat in the middle of it all, comfortably squeezed between Seungmin and Jeongin, feeling like one of the group.
“So, Jisung,” Seungmin began, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “What’s this I hear about you drooling over some girl on X?”
Jeongin immediately perked up, chiming in with a laugh. “Oh, yeah! The one he kept staring at, right? Scrolled through her profile for, like, twenty minutes. I’ve never seen you so focused.”
Jisung groaned, his face already turning a bright shade of red. “Yah, I wasn’t drooling! I was just… admiring the aesthetic, okay?”
“The aesthetic,” Seungmin repeated mockingly, raising an eyebrow. “Sure, Han. Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Hyunjin leaned over, his eyes lighting up with interest. “Wait, wait, show us. Who’s this mysterious girl that’s got Jisung all flustered?”
“No one!” Jisung blurted, snatching his phone like his life depended on it. But the damage had already been done—Seungmin and Jeongin were laughing too hard to stop.
Seoyoon watched the scene unfold, chuckling at Jisung’s failed attempts to defend himself. “Come on, Sungie,” she teased lightly. “It’s fine to think someone’s pretty. Who is it?”
Jisung hesitated, clearly trying to change the subject, but Jeongin was quicker. “It’s this girl who posts on X. He found her profile the other day, and he hasn’t shut up about how ‘cool’ and ‘mysterious’ she looks.”
“Oh my god,” Jisung groaned, burying his face in his hands. “You’re the worst, Jeongin.”
Seoyoon’s heart dropped into her stomach. She fought to keep her expression neutral as a wave of panic hit her. No way. No freaking way.
“I don’t remember,” Jisung muttered, trying to deflect. “I just stumbled across her page. It’s not a big deal.”
Jeongin, however, wasn’t letting him off the hook. “Oh, please. It’s the girl with the artsy photos and the teasing captions. You even followed her!”
Seoyoon’s pulse quickened. That’s me. They’re talking about me. She felt her palms grow clammy as she quickly pieced things together. Jisung must have come across her OF promo account on X, the one she’d been carefully curating. The one she thought no one she knew would ever find.
“You’re making it sound weird,” Jisung grumbled. “She just has a vibe, okay? I didn’t, like, stalk her or anything.”
Minho raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t stalk her, but you followed her?”
“It was for the aesthetic!”
“Aesthetic,” Seungmin deadpanned, shaking his head with a smirk. “Right.”
Seoyoon cleared her throat, trying to keep her cool. “So… what does this girl post about?” she asked casually, though her voice wavered slightly.
Jisung perked up at the question, clearly relieved someone was taking him seriously. “Oh, uh, just artsy stuff. Photos, little captions—stuff like that. She’s just really… creative, I guess.”
Seoyoon nodded, pretending to be interested but feeling like her brain was short-circuiting. Creative? Artsy? That’s what you’re calling my posts?
“Well, whoever she is, she’s got Han whipped,” Jeongin teased, earning another groan from Jisung.
Seoyoon tried to laugh along with everyone else, but her mind was racing. She needed to figure out how to handle this—and fast. For now, though, she plastered on her best poker face and leaned into the teasing banter, hoping no one would catch on.
After the conversation finally shifted to another topic, Seoyoon excused herself under the guise of needing water. She stepped into the kitchen, gripping the counter as she took a deep breath. Of all the people on the internet, Jisung had to find my account? She couldn’t decide if it was hilarious, mortifying, or both.
For now, though, she decided to play it cool. As long as no one connected the dots, everything would be fine. Right? Right.
She just needed to be more careful.
prev/next
TAGLIST @galaxy4489 @ot8xbangchansgirlsblog @vv-us comment to be added to taglist
A/N: I just realised I forgot Han ^ I am screaming
Pairing: OT7/reader
Rating: PG friendly (with a friendly warning of poly / multiple person relationship).
Genre: POLY!SKZ / Fluff / Very slight angst & mentions of bad sleep patterns.
Word Count: 3.6k exactly, my doods
Summary: A restless night, ultimately remedied by your sweet baby man angel boys. Or alternatively: Istg if Jisung makes one more weird noise imma end this man’s whole life no cap, Binnie hold me back -
Back to ~ SKZ Masterlist
Back to ~ Main Masterlist
Special Mentions <3
@domjaehyun for being a yoghurt eating legend that takes a year to respond ASKDJF ILY BICH//
@seowoos for inspiring this whole damn thing & helping me feel more comfortable w publishing more niche content models. Even if it’s just cheesy enough for the two of us <3 //
@chocolvte for being another OG on this list, n just generally being a sweet bean <3 baby girl ur reactions were the second inspiration to get me INTO SKZ in the first place. ily uwu //
and lastly, surprise @mikoto-ica-fics !! You were the last part of the equation that got me to write smin for these boys. I binged practically all your fics in two nights bby, keep making michellin star fics <3
Tonight wasn’t working out quite as you had expected.
To be honest, it was fucking shit.
Well, the night itself was okay. In terms of activities. An evening in with your boyfriend, Chan.
Just you two versus the world. The poor boy was so tired that honestly, it had only consisted of a walk through the park to grab snacks, and returning to the empty dorm to laze around the whole evening. A Netflix date with some *ahem* late night fun to settle you both into a deep, restful state.
It was brilliant, fantastic. Until it wasn’t.
Until you lay painfully awake in his bed and suffocated in the dark silence and space between you. It wasn’t Chan’s fault; the obnoxious whirring of electronics made your head spin, tiny flashing lights and minute feelings of unease at the cupboard door leaning open; all made it virtually impossible to sleep.
It was too cold. Too hot. You were so comfortable, melted into the mattress. But it was swallowing you and your claustrophobia was starting to make you twitch. Moving off of your angelic boy’s limbs, you shimmied to the cooler side of the bed.
He stirred a little, before settling on turning away, onto his side. Phew. At least you hadn’t woken him. It wasn’t like you were trying to be selfish, but fuck. This was insufferable.
Every time you looked at the clock you were sure it slowed down - balls, at this point it could’ve skipped back an hour and you wouldn’t have batted an eye. Mostly because if they weren’t checking the clock, they were staring dead straight up at the ceiling.
Eh. Ugh. Fuck. I can’t sleep.
That’s all your brain could think. Stuck - monotone and on a never-ending loop.
It seemed like everything you had ever thought was swimming around in your brain like some kind of primordial juice. Feelings and emotions swelling and bloating in your belly until they settled.
And then a car passed outside, and everything started to swell up again.
Chan was on his side, turned away and peacefully gaining some shut-eye. He was only lightly sleeping though, that much you could tell. His body gently lifting, then falling with breath. Like you; he often struggled to sleep deeply, usually not lasting very long when he did manage to.
You were so pissed.
How dare he sleep. And look so good doing it. Even just his bareback looked hot as shit - here you were, a messy, greasy big toe wrestling with your stupid ape brain to shut off the useless brain thoughts, next to this slice of heaven - just, ugh existing so perfectly.
“Oh my god, this is torture.” You cursed quietly into the dead space.
Maybe the frustration was all from hormones?
Nah, fuck that. Feminism and all that jazz. That’s just part of the human condition, babycakes. Happens to the best of us, unfortunately.
No, what it was, was the constant whirring coming from the TV screen and Felix’s PlayStation tower and large monitor. The tiny little flashes, whirrs, huffs from the fan and rotating lights. It was driving you abhorrently insane. FUCK.
“Chan? Channie, baby, are you awake?.” You whispered into the air. His breath faltered a little, stirred mostly by your movement to groan, gruff and flip the duvet off your hot, sticky body. Gentle though you tried to be, it was still enough to wake his fuzzy brain.
“Chan, please. I’m sorry babe but that TV is driving me fucking insane.” Your voice was too alert and frustrated for him not to stir. His heart panged a little at the distress laced in your tone.
“Please, Channie. I’m so sorry…”
He rolled on his back to look at you. Slowly, and with much effort. He groaned softly before wiping his eyes and leaving his arms above his head.
“Hey.” He whispered, warmly smiling.
“Don’t be sorry – can you not sleep again, baby girl?” Chan asked softly, watching you sit stiffly upright. His deep voice made your heart flutter, nodding as he groaned. He smiled despite any resentment you may have allowed him to feel. Resting his warm palm against your rib as he muttered a response - you excused his fumbled words for definition - so tired he was barely able to keep his eyes open.
“You can turn it off, yeah?” Chan sighed.
What he meant was ‘You know how and where to turn it off, without messing up the whole system like last time, right?’. You nodded quickly, squeezing his bicep lightly before slipping from the exposed mattress.
Dashing up to scramble behind the low TV unit and find the one wire to end it all. Your infernal pain that was.
He watched you, letting his eyes rest occasionally. Truth was, you looked so beautiful to him when you were concentrating on something.
For example, pulling out the HDMI cord triumphantly. And holding in a small squeal (scream), of relief when the high pitched buzzing cut out with a slight electronic fuzz. He chuckled, not missing your little feet pattering in step with a tiny little victory pump.
“Yes. Fuck. The noise, it’s gone!” Chan chuckled softly, keeping his arm outstretched until you landed beside him. Pulling you toward him, under the covers.
“Yeah, you really got that wire Y/N. Showed it who’s the boss, huh?” His tired enthusiasm outweighed his sarcasm, owning a soft kiss to the cheek as you clambered over the bed, only to flop with a weighted sigh straight down onto his shoulder.
He giggled, smiling with a yawn as he tucked his arm against your ribs, tucking you up against his chest in a bearhug.
You fell asleep quickly; soft breaths and just the presence of Chan's being, enough to satiate the gnawing ache in the back of your brain.
And it was peaceful. Restful. Warm, and so pleasant.
Until it wasn’t.
Turns out tonight wasn’t your night. The clock read 1:28 am – and the boys were due to come home from practice any moment now. To be honest they were pretty late.
Chan had originally had the day off, hence the chance for you to be led here in his arms. But you were starting to think it really hadn’t made that much of a difference.
It wasn’t just the high pitched whirring that had aggravated you, but now the uncomfortable heat radiating from Chan's body. The small whoosh of cool air against your neck at any vehicle that passed by. Or just the evening breeze. You groaned softly, dropping your head back to Chan’s chest with a soft thud, lulling back into a light and unrestful sleep.
Ten minutes or so passed. Waking from a fuzzy dream, you were disorientated. The worst dreams always happened in short little bursts. Like little hellish fever dreams.
The clock now read 1:39 am and the time between minutes was becoming unbearable. Too long to bear
.
You had to move. Speak. Scream. Cry. Kick. Do something.
Peeling off Chan’s arm, and replacing yourself with a large fluffy pillow, you left your lover to rest. You dread to think that it would be able to replace you, but hey, at least it wouldn’t move like one big fat sweaty ferret, right?
Sigh. Sad times.
You abandoned Chan for the disgustingly bright hallway. Seeking new comforts, from whoever would take you. The boys were home; noises of beings floating down the hall, past Chan’s room.
By the time you had gathered the strength to rise off the bed though – blinking away the stars and excited little lines in your vision and raising enough chi to move your soul, and body upwards off of the bed – an inkling of tiredness was starting to itch into your consciousness.
You ached to be held. Loved.
You weren’t sleepy enough to get back into his bed though. Though; you missed Chan’s body as soon as you had tumbled yourself away from it.
---------
Fetching your favourite fluffy square pillow and putting on one of Chan’s big shirts, you padded out and into the hallway. The door closed behind you with a soft putt, pillow tight against your belly.
The tired but comfortingly loud voices of your other lovers were coming from the kitchen.
You wobbled forward, groaning to yourself as your thighs began to ache. Just from being alive, you guessed. Your thighs tingled your skin into little chilly goosebumps, a shiver sparking down your spine.
Maybe the heat of Chan’s bed wasn’t so bad, you began to consider. Before a voice echoed down to where you were slowly walking from.
“Ya – hold up, I’ll grab my jumper then we can watch that stupid shit-film you were on about earlier?” You heard Jisung shout over the kitchen to the boys gathered on the sofa.
The boys muttered some form of agreement and before you could process it, the firm but soft body of Han Jisung had swung right around the corner and straight into your zombie path.
Being conscious, and not half-dead like you, he was able to stop abruptly in front of you and step back a little. The shock of a body blocking his path was quickly masked with warm love as he cooed at the sight of you.
“Y/n-ieeeeee look at youuuu~” He whispered loudly, wrapping his arms around you to squeeze you firm against his body.
His presence eased you, despite the chaotic energy he may have appeared to have. He was just one big squirrel with muscles. The perfectly-right size to pull you against him, your neck flopping so skin met skin, cheek to shoulder in that white sleeveless shirt of his.
You melted into his caring touch, groaning when he gave a squeeze and actually, not hating how firmly he held you. For a moment, he seemed to be just quietly accepting your unspoken words. Night-long grief expressed in the way you clung to him.
Eventually, he asked the inevitable questions, though.
“Baby, why aren’t you asleep? Hmm, pretty? It’s like, 2 am already!” He exclaimed softly, somewhat conscious of Chan’s sleeping presence down the hall. And your zombie-eardrums.
You couldn’t answer, instead, you let him pull you away so he could peer down at your head against his shoulder. The pillow was a soft barrier between you, though he removed it to place it softly on the floor.
“As cute as you look in Chan’s top right now, baby, this hallway is pretty cold. Gosh damn, your legs are shaking so much. How long have you been standing out here princess? Let’s get you warmed up, yeah?” He squeezed you against him once more - rubbing his warm palms against your trembling, shivering thighs.
As he stood back up you groaned again, reluctant to articulate how badly you just wanted to be softly touched. Not aggressively rubbed. Even if you appreciated the notion, it was cutely awkward. Your expression made him laugh softly, tucking hair behind your ear and placing a kiss on your cheek, head, forehead.
“You okay though? Wanna come sit with us?” You nodded quickly, body flopping into his hold as soon as his arms went to lift you. Your head rested on his shoulder, Jisung’s body dipping to lift you and wrap your knees around his hips. He was such a careful, sweet baby boy.
“Ya – come on you big baby, you. Who do you want to be delivered too for the meantime, huh? I gotta go change out of my gym stuff.”
“Hyunjin-ah... please...” You mumbled airily. Despite how unused your voice was, it was sweet as honey. He smiled, responding with a soft “Sure" before turning back to where he had come from. Heart warmed by the opportunity to care for you, even if for just a moment.
And even though he was a bit sticky – and the thought ‘yuck' registered quickly in your half-conscious brain – you didn’t mind the smell. Or the languid way he carried you.
You nuzzled against his neck, groaning once more as his entrance was announced to the room. A loud “Han Jisung's Special Delivery Service!” was projected, I.N. slipping by with a quick ruffle of your hair before moving to turn down the hall, into his room. The boys looked up at the noise and your entrance into the room, immediately softened by the sight.
You, entirely snuggled against a buoyant Jisung, that held you so carefully against his chest. Messy hair tucked under his chin; your eyes were puffy, sore, and barely open as he came into the centre of the soft-lit room.
“Nawww – cuuuutieeee~” Changbin cooed, Lee Know giggling as Seungmin stepped forward to kiss your cheek, sweetly brushing hairs away from your face. The proximity to Jisung didn’t seem to spook his intimacy.
Your eyes fluttered close from the embrace, Seungmin smiling to himself at his ability to soothe you. Even just a little.
“That’s a funny looking jumper, Ji.” Seungmin quipped, before adding a quick “Hi Y/N.” With a small squeeze of your cheek, before heading toward the kitchen.
“Hyunjin-ah you have a special request delivery here, where shall I put her?” Jisung questioned, approaching the sofa nimbly.
Hyunjin smiled, shuffling a little before holding out his arms, patting his lap.
“Right here~” you heard, before feeling gravity weigh at your back. You got off early, aided by Jisung and Hyunjin’s hands on your hips. Quietly you yawned, turning to a barefaced beautiful boy, smiling at you cutely.
Jisung pecked a kiss on your shoulder before passing, leaving to go sort himself out.
Hyunjin smiled up at you with a coo, pulling you down towards him with his long limbs. With you laying, legs tangled above him he wiggled back so you could lay comfortably on his chest.
He kissed your cheek before tucking your forehead against his chin, your eyes slowly bobbing open and shut as his calm vibe washed over you. Changbin shared some of your weight on the somewhat roomy sofa; kissing your hair softly and curling against you to keep you warm.
The television was on a late-night MC show playing. Though it registered to you as white noise. The boy’s voices over you were soothing, even if they edged a little loud occasionally.
At some point, you had started to drift off again. For the most part, Hyunjin was a gentle giant anyways. So despite his resistance to skinship, your body (and some of the boys), was never left out in terms of body-pillow-comforts.
Meaning, he treated your limbs like a very bony pillow he could encapsulate entirely.
You weren’t sure where the others were. Or what part of the sofa you were even on. You figured the end since the guys had their feet up. But you didn’t mind. It was safe. Here, in their arms. Against their bodies.
Even the bright overhead lights of the kitchen and hallway weren’t enough to stop you lulling into sleep.
At a later point, you awoke again with a startle – Jisung shushing your tired whines with a kiss as he jumped onto the sofa to your left, a little too enthusiastically.
Hyunjin moaned like a brat, ultimately having a play fight underneath you until you mustered up a death stare to end all squabbles, ever. Period. Jisung settled, intertwining your fingers on Hyunjin’s belly until your breath softened. Falling into a weak slumber once more.
Once again; your sleep was great. Perfect. Until it wasn’t.
An abrupt jostle of Hyunjin jolting to stop spilling the food he held above your head, was met with an unattractive grunt of pure disgust on your part. Eyes squinted, head wrinkled and body tense, you were once again awake.
“Sorry baby! I didn’t mean to wake you!” Hyunjin whined, too loudly next to your throbbing head. Changbin noticed your tense limbs and pulled you backwards against his chest. This merely caused another squabble to ensue between them - who held the right to hold you, like a fluffy comfort blank.
Suddenly everything was bothering you again.
Their constant jostling and boyish movements were just too much. You pulled up from Changbin. Avoiding the tugging, whining, needy arms and hands from Hyunjin to stand weakly once more.
Frustrated. Tired. And all coupled with a reasonably ugly scowl weeping over your face.
They were so engrossed in their silly little arguments, little kicks, punches and teasing laughter, that they barely even noticed your sluggish movements to get up.
Until you were on your feet. Your body heat sapped from them in a bitter attempt at being sour. Hyunjins hands immediately flew out to steady you. Changbin pouting but ultimately letting you retreat once more.
“Y/Nieeee~ Come baaack, I didn’t mean it. Come lay back down, baby~” Hyunjin whined warily, the other two boys still giggling amongst themselves. You swatted against the tiredness on your face, grumbling before stumbling backwards.
You made it a few steps before you folded over on impact at hitting the kitchen table. The table thudded on impact and the boys winced, watching your face scrunch up in pain immediately.
A new pair of hands caught you this time, stuttering before lean arms caught you.
“Woah! Careful there pretty girl, nearly took the whole bloody table out. You okay?”
Felix's. Soft, caring and most importantly soft voice and calm motions of support waved over you in a way that gave you immediate comfort. You rested your head against his chest as he tugged you up, body slumping into him with an inaudible impact. He giggled, despite your weighted movements, speaking lowly with that deep, tired voice of his.
“Y/N, you silly sausage, are you alright?” He prompted quietly, leaning his head down to capture your whines and huffs of pain.
“Owww, my butt… That hurt~” You groaned, not minding his giggles but sending a puffy glare to the others snickering away on the sofa.
The table (or your idiot bulldozer body), had set a deep ache right into the cheek of your butt. Your hand kneaded it gently before Felix’s hand quickly replaced yours, rubbing and squeezing softly until your face scrunched, the pain subsiding.
“Ouch.” You whispered, peering up at him with a pout. He kissed your nose cutely with a little eruption of giggles, helping you crack a pouty smile.
“Come on, cutie.” He mumbled before grabbing your hand to guide you slowly into the kitchen. “I could kiss it better?” He prompted, ultimately softening at your lack of response. You were so morgue-ish you hadn’t even registered his words. Letting him tug you blindly as your eyes struggled to stay open.
You could barely register his hands, pressing at your waist. Weakly managing to hold on as he lifted you on top of the counter. Squinting, you could see the clock read 2:23 (am) on the cooker. Ugh. What a night.
You’d feel shit in the morning. But that was nearly impossible to think about with the way Felix was holding you right now. Like a baby. Or a puppy. A little ball of fluff.
He kept some form of contact as he moved around you – a hand to the knee or his hip between your legs. Or even lips against your hairline, using the counter space around you to do something. What he was doing, you were tired to even care.
“You know what used to help me Y/N? When I couldn’t sleep at night?” He prompted gently. You shook your head, pulling back with a weak sway
“Warm milk and honey!” He exclaimed quietly. Too cute for his own good. You smiled, and he pulled you against his chest to kiss your cheek and giggle delicately.
“You want some? Then we could try to sleep? You look like you need some shut-eye, baby. Don’t wanna miss out on that beauty sleep! If you want - we can always sleep in – just call in sick? Your boss is honestly so nice, I'm sure she won’t mind. You say you’re always working through lunch breaks anyway?”
Despite his rambling, you just nodded. Tired eyes once again resting as the hum of the radiator, the vibration of his chest eased your brain. Your head tucked so right underneath his chin. His palms folded behind your lower back.
At some point, Changbin had appeared. Sweeping a thumb over your forehead before kissing you sweetly, cheek resting on Felix’s shoulder.
“I love you, princess. Sorry for waking you.” He had whispered against your lips.
“Mmm-I-love-you-too-Binnie~” You managed in one tumbling sentence. In fairness, the touch would've probably led you both somewhere (the bedroom), if you weren’t in such a zombie-like state.
“Sure thing, pretty.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your puffy cheeks before retreating. He let you both be, cold marble beneath your thighs now warmed by your constant body heat. You passed out pretty quickly against Felix’s chest. Cocooned, safe.
What you did miss in your deep, deep sleep was the way they carried you.
Felix physically, to their shared room. Changbin carrying your drinks and fetching your favourite pillow from the hall.
And what you heavenly missed in the night; they made up to you in the morning.
And the next night. And the night after that.
Because even though you occasionally suffered restless nights, you knew one of them would always be there to catch you.
And you’d do the same for them.
P.S. Fuck Chan’s wiring system. Extension cables were the bane of your nightly living. *holds up fingers in a cross and hisses*
well would you look at that: updated 03/OCTOBER/2021
Warning- Panic attack, my girl be going through it omg
W.C. 6.9k
The sun spilled lazily through the living room curtains, golden beams dancing across the mess of limbs and blankets on the floor and couches. The soft rise and fall of breaths filled the quiet space, the boys still tangled up in a collective heap from the night before. Felix was curled up with his head on Jisung's stomach, Minho was propped awkwardly against Chan's shoulder, and Jeongin was somehow on the floor, half-tucked under a blanket Changbin had draped over him in the middle of the night.
The apartment was serene, peaceful—until the faint creak of a door broke the silence.
Seoyoon stepped out of her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning as she shuffled toward the kitchen. Her plan was to grab some water and slip out for her usual morning jog, but the sight in the living room stopped her dead in her tracks. She blinked at the scene before her, her heart giving a funny little squeeze.
All eight boys were sprawled together, snuggled up like a pack of puppies. Felix’s soft snores mixed with the occasional mutter from Jisung, who looked like he was dreaming about something. Chan’s head was tilted back slightly, his face peaceful, while Minho’s arm was loosely draped over his lap. Even Seungmin, who normally kept to himself, had his head resting against Hyunjin’s shoulder.
It was… adorable.
Seoyoon stood there for a moment, caught between wanting to laugh and feeling like she’d just stumbled into some kind of Hallmark movie. She covered her mouth to stifle a giggle, but it wasn’t enough to keep her presence unnoticed.
“...Yoonie?” came a sleepy mumble. Chan stirred first, his eyes half-lidded as he blinked at her. His groggy voice sent a shiver down her spine—deep, husky, and far too attractive for this early in the morning.
“Oh, uh, good morning!” Seoyoon stammered, suddenly very aware of how oversized her joggers and hoodie looked on her. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…”
“Seoyoon?” Jisung’s voice piped up next, though it was muffled since Felix’s head was still on his stomach. He squinted at her before breaking into a sleepy grin. “Morning, Yoonie. Did you come to join the cuddle party?”
Felix stirred at that, sitting up and stretching with a small yawn. “There’s room,” he added with a mischievous smile, patting the small space between him and Hyunjin.
Seoyoon laughed softly, shaking her head. “I think I’ll pass, but thanks for the offer.”
One by one, the boys began waking up, groaning and stretching as the reality of morning settled in. Jeongin blinked blearily at Seoyoon, his cheeks still squished from the pillow he’d been sleeping on. “Morning, noona,” he said, his voice thick with sleep.
“Good morning, Jeongin,” she replied, her voice softer now, touched by the warmth in his greeting.
“Wait, why are you up so early?” Changbin asked, rubbing his eyes as he sat up and adjusted the blanket around his shoulders.
“Just heading out for a jog,” Seoyoon said, lifting the water bottle she’d been holding. “But I didn’t expect to find all of you like… this.”
Minho smirked, sitting up and running a hand through his tousled hair. “This? You mean cozy and adorable? We know.”
Seoyoon rolled her eyes playfully. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
Chan chuckled, his voice still carrying that deep, morning rasp. “We must’ve fallen asleep talking last night. No one wanted to move, I guess.”
Hyunjin yawned dramatically, stretching his arms above his head. “Blame Chan. He got all sentimental about Seoyoon and kept us up.”
Seoyoon’s cheeks flushed instantly, her wide eyes darting to Chan. “What—what do you mean?”
Chan raised his hands defensively, though the corner of his lips twitched up in a small smile. “I was just telling them about how strong you are. That’s all.”
“Strong?” Minho echoed, a teasing edge in his voice. He turned to Seoyoon, his gaze sweeping over her in a way that made her stomach flip. “I mean, she does have that quiet, mysterious vibe. I guess that’s kind of hot.”
“Minho,” Seoyoon said, her voice an octave higher as her face burned. She looked anywhere but at him, but her eyes landed on Chan, who was watching her with an amused expression.
“What?” Minho continued, leaning back on his hands. “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”
“Speak for yourself,” Jisung piped up, though the grin on his face betrayed his words. “I think she’s terrifying. In a good way.”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Seoyoon said, her tone flustered as she waved her hands. “You guys are impossible.”
Chan chuckled, leaning forward slightly. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, you know that?”
The air in the room shifted slightly, a teasing yet charged energy lingering between her, Chan, and Minho. Seoyoon’s heart raced as she stumbled over her words, her brain short-circuiting under their combined gazes.
“I—I need to go!” she blurted out, gripping her water bottle like a lifeline. She turned on her heel and practically fled to the door, her face burning.
Behind her, the boys erupted into laughter, their voices echoing through the apartment.
By the time Seoyoon returned from her jog, the apartment was buzzing with activity. The boys were moving around the space, getting ready for their respective schedules. Jisung was in the kitchen, pouring cereal into a bowl while Felix brewed coffee. Hyunjin was leaning against the counter, scrolling through his phone, and Seungmin was in the living room, folding the blankets they’d left behind.
“Welcome back!” Changbin called from his spot on the couch, where he was tying his sneakers. “Did you run a marathon or something?”
“Something like that,” Seoyoon said, her voice still tinged with embarrassment from earlier.
Chan appeared from the hallway, freshly showered and wearing a fitted black T-shirt that did nothing to calm her racing heart. “We’re heading out soon,” he said, his tone casual but his eyes lingering on her for a moment too long. “Do you need a ride anywhere?”
“I’m good,” Seoyoon replied quickly, avoiding his gaze as she headed to her room. “Thanks, though!”
As she closed her door behind her, she leaned against it and let out a long breath. Living with eight boys was proving to be far more chaotic—and far more distracting—than she’d ever anticipated.
As Seoyoon shut the door to her room, she dropped her water bottle onto the desk and sank into her chair. Her mind was still swirling from the chaotic energy of the morning, but there was a determined glint in her eye. If she was going to go through with this OnlyFans idea, she had to start somewhere.
She opened her laptop and began brainstorming. How do I keep this anonymous? she thought, chewing on her lip. After a few moments of deliberation, she grabbed a notepad and scribbled down some ideas.
"Stage name… something flirty but subtle," she muttered to herself, tapping the end of her pen against her chin. Her first few ideas were discarded as being too obvious or not unique enough. Finally, she wrote down a couple of options that felt right: VelvetMuse and LunaShade.
"Now for social media," she whispered, pulling up her browser. She created a new X account, carefully crafting the bio to sound alluring without revealing too much about herself: "Your favorite late-night muse ✨ | Come find me where dreams are made..." She smirked at the cleverness, feeling a rush of excitement at the anonymity.
She followed up with a few flirty posts to set the tone:
"Ever wonder what goes on behind closed doors? 👀✨""Can’t sleep? Maybe I’ll help you dream instead… 💋"
Her heart raced as she hit “post,” a mix of nervousness and exhilaration coursing through her. It felt empowering, like she was reclaiming a part of herself she’d kept hidden for so long. She spent the next hour setting up other social media accounts, choosing images and captions carefully to keep her identity concealed.
apartment in warm, golden hues. Seoyoon was sprawled across her bed, pretending to scroll on her phone when she heard the door swing open and the usual chorus of voices fill the space.
“Yoonie, we’re back!” Jisung’s cheerful voice rang out.
“Come out and say hi, noona!” Jeongin called, his tone teasing as usual.
Seoyoon sighed and sat up, stretching before heading to the living room. As soon as she stepped out, she was met with Minho’s sharp gaze.
“Hey,” Minho said, his voice calm but pointed as he approached her. “When was the last time you ate?”
The question caught her off guard, and she hesitated for half a second too long. “Uh… I grabbed something earlier, before my jog,” she lied, her voice unsteady.
Minho’s brow arched, and the corner of his mouth twitched like he was fighting the urge to call her out. “Really?” he asked, crossing his arms. “Because you didn’t eat breakfast with us, and I didn’t see you grab anything when you got back.”
“I-I… I ate some fruit,” she stammered, avoiding his gaze.
“Fruit,” Minho repeated, his tone skeptical but not harsh. There was a long pause as he studied her, and the tension in the room became thick.
Before he could push further, Chan stepped in, placing a hand on Minho’s shoulder. “Let it go,” he said softly, his tone firm but understanding.
Minho let out a slow breath, his gaze softening slightly as he turned back to Seoyoon. “Fine,” he said, his voice gentler now. “But I’m making dinner, and you’re eating. No excuses.”
Seoyoon nodded, guilt gnawing at her chest. “Okay,” she said quietly.
Minho moved to the kitchen, pulling ingredients out of the fridge with practiced ease. The rest of the boys slowly gathered around, the atmosphere lightening as they began chatting and joking.
“Hyung, what are you making?” Felix asked, peeking over Minho’s shoulder.
“Stir-fried noodles,” Minho replied. “With chicken and veggies. Something simple.”
“I’ll cut the veggies!” Changbin volunteered, grabbing a cutting board.
“I’ll handle the sauce,” Seungmin added, rolling up his sleeves.
Seoyoon hovered near the counter, unsure of how to help. Hyunjin noticed her hesitation and nudged her playfully. “You could set the table,” he suggested with a grin. “Or supervise Minho. Make sure he doesn’t burn the noodles.”
“Hey!” Minho protested, glaring at Hyunjin. “I’m a great cook.”
“Sure, sure,” Hyunjin teased, dodging the towel Minho threw at him.
Seoyoon smiled, feeling the tension from earlier melting away. She grabbed plates and utensils, setting the table while listening to the boys banter. Jisung and Jeongin were arguing over who got to taste-test first, and Chan was trying (and failing) to keep the chaos under control.
When the food was finally ready, the group gathered around the table, laughter and chatter filling the room as they dug in. Minho kept a close eye on Seoyoon, making sure she actually ate, but he didn’t press her further. Instead, he handed her a plate with a small smile and said, “Eat up. You’ll need energy for tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Minho,” she said softly, her cheeks warming.
As the plates were cleared and the leftovers tucked away, Seoyoon found herself being ushered into the living room by Jeongin, who was sporting his signature shy smile. The other boys trailed in behind them, chatting and debating over what movie to watch.
“Something scary,” Hyunjin suggested, waggling his eyebrows playfully. “I think Seoyoon might appreciate some jump scares.”
“I’d prefer not to die of a heart attack tonight,” Seungmin deadpanned, flipping through the streaming service’s library.
“What about a rom-com?” Jisung piped up, plopping down dramatically on the couch. “Yoonie might like that better.”
“Or,” Chan interjected with a smirk, “we compromise. Let’s do a thriller—enough suspense to keep it interesting without it being too over the top.”
The group agreed, and a suspenseful psychological thriller was chosen. The lights were dimmed, and the living room filled with the cozy hum of muffled chatter as everyone found their spots. Seoyoon ended up wedged between Jeongin and Jisung, both of whom seemed content with the arrangement.
As the movie played, Seoyoon noticed Jeongin’s subtle movements. At first, it was just his knee brushing against hers, a soft touch so fleeting she thought it might have been accidental. Then his arm rested just slightly closer to hers on the couch’s armrest. His breathing seemed steadier, but there was a faint redness blooming across his cheeks whenever the screen flashed brightly, illuminating the room.
Seoyoon didn’t say anything, but a small, knowing smile tugged at her lips. She leaned back into the couch, allowing the proximity without comment. Beside her, Jisung was far less subtle, laughing at the tense moments in the movie to diffuse his nerves.
When the credits rolled, the group broke into conversation about the film, dissecting the plot twists and characters.
“That was so predictable,” Minho scoffed, running a hand through his hair. “I called the ending halfway through.”
“Sure, Mr. Genius,” Felix teased. “You also screamed when the door slammed shut.”
“That was a cheap jump scare,” Minho retorted with a smirk.
Seoyoon giggled at their banter, shaking her head. “I’m just impressed everyone stayed quiet during the big reveal. I thought Jisung was going to explode.”
“I was invested,” Jisung defended with a grin, his dimples showing.
no one was in a rush to leave. Instead, they stayed sprawled across the couches and floor, the atmosphere shifting into something softer and more personal.
“So, Seoyoon,” Chan began, leaning forward slightly, “we’ve told you bits and pieces about us, but do you have any questions? About… you know, how we make things work?”
The question caught her off guard, but the sincerity in Chan’s voice encouraged her to open up. “I guess I’ve been curious,” she admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “How does it work, exactly? Being in a poly relationship with so many people? It seems… complicated.”
“It is,” Minho answered first, his voice smooth and confident. “But it’s also really rewarding. The most important thing is communication. If we didn’t talk about how we’re feeling, what we need, or what’s bothering us, it wouldn’t work.”
Felix nodded in agreement, his soft Australian accent adding warmth to his words. “We all have different dynamics with each other, and that’s what makes it special. It’s not like everyone feels the same way about everyone else—it’s more about finding a balance that works for all of us.”
Hyunjin chimed in, his tone light but earnest. “And honestly, it’s not just about romance. We’re a family, first and foremost. We look out for each other.”
Seoyoon listened intently, her gaze flickering between them. “That makes sense,” she said softly. “But what happens when someone… I don’t know, feels left out?”
“That’s where the communication comes in,” Chan said. “We’re not perfect, and there are times when someone feels a little disconnected. But we make it a priority to address those feelings. No one gets left behind.”
Jisung grinned, nudging Seoyoon playfully. “You’d be surprised how much effort we put into making sure everyone feels loved. We’re like an army of affection.”
The comment earned a laugh from Seoyoon, and she felt a warm blush creep up her neck. “It sounds… nice. A little overwhelming, maybe, but nice.”
“It’s definitely not for everyone,” Seungmin said, his voice calm and matter-of-fact. “But it works for us. And who knows…” He trailed off, giving her a teasing glance. “Maybe you’ll get used to it.”
Seoyoon rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress her smile. “You guys are something else.”
As the conversation continued, the teasing grew more playful. Minho leaned against the armrest, his gaze fixed on Seoyoon with a mischievous glint. “So, Yoonie,” he began, his voice low and smooth, “if you did join a poly relationship, who do you think you’d click with the most?”
Seoyoon’s eyes widened, and she immediately waved her hands in protest. “Oh, no. No way. I’m not answering that.”
Chan chuckled, his dimples deepening as he leaned back in his seat. “Why not? It’s a harmless question.”
“It’s a trap,” Seoyoon said, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“Maybe,” Minho teased, a sly grin tugging at his lips. “But I think we all know you’ve already got your favorites.”
The room filled with laughter, and Seoyoon felt her face heat up. “You’re all impossible,” she muttered, hiding her face behind her hands.
“Impossible but lovable,” Felix quipped, flashing her a wink.
Eventually, the group began to wind down, everyone splitting off to get ready for bed or finish up last-minute tasks. Seoyoon retreated to her room with a smile on her face, her heart lighter than it had been in weeks.
But as she closed her door and glanced at her laptop, the reminder of her secret project brought a mix of excitement and apprehension. She took a deep breath, resolving to take things one step at a time. For now, she was content with the warmth and chaos of the boys’ company. The soft glow of Seoyoon’s laptop illuminated her face as she leaned back against her pillows, scrolling through her freshly made X account. Her heart skipped when she noticed the surge of notifications. Hundreds of likes, retweets, and comments flooded her posts.
"You’re stunning. Please post more.""You’ve got a goddess vibe. Can’t wait to see what you do next.""Are you real, or are you just here to torment me?"
The attention was exhilarating, overwhelming even. Seoyoon hadn’t expected this much interest so soon. She bit her lip, a small, guilty smile forming on her face. The anonymity of it all felt like a shield, giving her the courage to lean into the idea further.
"Muse." The word echoed in her mind again. She wanted to embody it—become a figure of inspiration, desire, and mystery. Her heart pounded as she reached for her phone and set it up on her tripod.
She picked out a simple outfit: a cozy oversized sweater that slipped off one shoulder, paired with thigh-high socks. It was alluring but still soft, still her. She posed in front of her bed, trying out different angles: one with her hand brushing her neck, another with her legs tucked under her, her eyes casting a smoldering look into the camera.
The shutter clicked repeatedly, filling the quiet room. Seoyoon adjusted the sweater slightly, letting it hang a little looser, and leaned back against the headboard. Just as she was adjusting the camera for one last shot, there was a knock at her door.
Her blood ran cold.
“Seoyoon? You awake?” It was Jeongin’s voice, soft and hesitant.
Seoyoon scrambled to grab her phone and tossed it face-down onto the bed, her heart pounding like a drum. “Uh, yeah! One sec!” she called out, her voice a little too high-pitched.
The door creaked open before she could stop it, and Jeongin stepped in, his head poking around the corner with a sheepish smile. He froze when he saw her, his eyes darting from her flushed face to the disheveled state of her sweater.
“Oh, um…” Jeongin cleared his throat, his ears turning red. “I just wanted to let you know we’re all going to school together tomorrow. Chan-hyung said he’d give you a ride if you wanted to join.”
Seoyoon pulled the sweater back up over her shoulder, trying to appear casual despite the panic bubbling inside her. “Oh, uh, thanks for letting me know,” she said, her voice wavering slightly.
Jeongin’s eyes lingered on the tripod for a moment, then flicked back to her. “Were you… taking pictures?”
Seoyoon froze, her mind racing for an excuse. “Oh, uh… yeah! Just… um, for my X account. You know, like a personal blog thing.”
Jeongin raised an eyebrow, his curiosity evident. “A blog thing? You mean like… aesthetics or outfits or something?”
“Yeah! Exactly!” she lied, her hands gripping the edge of her sweater nervously. “Just… artsy stuff. Nothing big.”
He nodded slowly, though the slight tilt of his head suggested he wasn’t entirely convinced. “Well, that’s cool. I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing. You should show us sometime.”
“Oh, no! It’s really not a big deal,” she blurted out, waving her hands. “Just something I’m doing for fun.”
Jeongin chuckled softly, the sound easing some of her tension. “Alright, alright. I won’t pry. Just wanted to let you know about the ride. Sleep well, Yoonie.”
“Thanks, Jeongin. You too,” she replied, her cheeks still burning as he closed the door behind him.
Once he was gone, Seoyoon collapsed onto her bed, covering her face with her hands. “Oh my god,” she muttered under her breath. The tripod still stood there, the photos still saved on her phone, and the memory of Jeongin’s curious expression was now burned into her brain.
She grabbed her phone, scrolling through the photos she’d taken. Despite the embarrassment, a small smile crept onto her lips. They were good—better than she’d expected. And the comments on her account proved that people were eager to see more.
Seoyoon took a deep breath, her resolve hardening. If she was going to do this, she needed to commit. But she also needed to be more careful—especially with eight boys wandering around the apartment.
For now, though, she decided to call it a night. Tomorrow was a new day, and she’d have to face them all in the morning… including Jeongin, who now had a faint idea of what she was up to.
The sun had just started peeking through the blinds of Seoyoon’s room when Changbin, fully dressed and already energized, opened her door a crack. “Seoyoon-ah,” he called softly at first, his voice gentle. When there was no response, he stepped in further and crouched down by her bed. “Yah, sleepyhead. Time to wake up.”
Seoyoon stirred slightly, her face scrunching as she buried it further into her pillow. “Mmm, go ‘way, Binnie,” she mumbled, her voice muffled and groggy.
Changbin chuckled at how cute she looked, her hair messy and her cheek slightly puffy from where it had been pressed against the pillow. “Nope. You can’t call me ‘Binnie’ and expect me to go easy on you. Come on, Yoonie, get up,” he said, poking her cheek lightly.
She whined in protest, turning over dramatically and dragging her blanket over her head. “It’s too early,” she grumbled. “Five more minutes.”
Changbin wasn’t having it. He tugged at the blanket, his grin widening when she clung to it stubbornly. “Don’t make me carry you to breakfast,” he teased.
“Ugh, fine!” she groaned, finally sitting up, her eyes barely open as she glared at him. Despite her grumpiness, there was something endearing about the way she rubbed her eyes like a child and yawned loudly. “You’re the worst, Binnie.”
“And yet you love me,” he quipped, standing and ruffling her hair. “Now hurry up and get ready before the others eat all the food. You know how Jisung gets with bacon.”
With a sigh, Seoyoon shuffled out of bed, her steps heavy and sluggish. Changbin smirked as he left her to get dressed, closing the door behind him.
Once ready, Seoyoon joined the boys in the dining area, where the table was already set with breakfast: eggs, bacon, toast, and fresh fruit. The smell alone made her stomach rumble, but she quickly pushed the thought aside.
“Morning, Yoonie!” Felix greeted her brightly from his seat, flashing her a dimpled smile.
“Morning,” she replied, her tone still a little grumpy but softening at the sight of the others.
She slid into a seat but made no move to grab a plate, hoping to slip under the radar. She reached for her iced coffee instead, sipping on it quietly. But Seungmin wasn’t fooled.
“Seoyoon,” he called out, his sharp eyes narrowing as he set down his fork. “Why aren’t you eating?”
She froze, caught off guard. “Oh, I’m not really hungry. I’ll eat later,” she lied, waving him off.
Seungmin didn’t buy it for a second. “Nope. Not happening.” He grabbed a piece of toast, spread some jam on it, and held it out to her. “Here. Just a few bites.”
“I said I’m not hungry—”
“Don’t argue with me,” Seungmin cut her off, his tone firm but not unkind. “Just one bite, or I’ll make you finish the whole plate.”
The boys watched the exchange with varying degrees of amusement, a few of them stifling chuckles. Seoyoon sighed in defeat, leaning forward to take a bite of the toast Seungmin held out. “Happy now?” she mumbled, cheeks slightly puffed as she chewed.
“Ecstatic,” Seungmin deadpanned, though the small smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.
After breakfast, they all piled into the car. Seoyoon ended up in the backseat between Jeongin and Jisung, who were both in high spirits.
As the car pulled out of the driveway, Jeongin turned to her with a curious look. “So… what were you doing last night?” he asked innocently, though there was a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.
Seoyoon blinked, her heart skipping a beat. “What do you mean?” she asked, playing dumb.
“The pictures,” Jeongin said casually. “You said it was for a blog thing, right? What kind of blog?”
At this, Chan, who was driving, glanced at her through the rearview mirror, and a few of the others turned to look at her as well.
“Uh…” Seoyoon hesitated, feeling the weight of their gazes. “Just… you know, aesthetic stuff. Outfits, vibes, that kind of thing.”
Jisung tilted his head, a sly grin spreading across his face. “Vibes, huh? What kind of vibes are we talking about?”
“Nothing special!” she said quickly, her voice a little too high-pitched. “Just artsy stuff. You know, creative expression.”
Felix snickered from the passenger seat. “Creative expression, huh? Sounds suspicious.”
“Can we drop it, please?” Seoyoon said, her cheeks burning as she crossed her arms.
The boys exchanged knowing looks but thankfully didn’t press further.
When they arrived at school, they all went their separate ways. Seoyoon grabbed her bag and turned to Jisung, who was waiting for her.
“Ready?” he asked, slinging his arm over her shoulders in a friendly gesture.
“Yeah, let’s go,” she said, grateful for the distraction.
As they walked to class together, she couldn’t help but feel a little anxious about the questions from earlier. But for now, she pushed it to the back of her mind. She had other things to focus on—like surviving the day without accidentally spilling her secrets.
Throughout the day, Seoyoon couldn't help but overhear whispers and murmurs as she walked through the halls of the school. At first, she tried to ignore it, focusing on her classes and the boys. But as the day went on, the comments seemed to follow her, like shadows creeping in at the edges of her thoughts.
“Did you see Seoyoon with them again? I swear, she’s always with them now. She thinks she’s part of their group or something.”
“Yeah, but does she even know them that well? She’s not like them. I don't know, it’s kind of weird. They’ve been acting like she’s one of them.”
Seoyoon could feel the weight of the words—small, insignificant to the people who spoke them, but enormous to her. She wasn’t like the boys. She had always felt different, and now it was like everyone could see it too. Her insecurities flared up, and it felt like she couldn’t escape them. The whispers were loud in her mind, louder than the conversations happening around her. Am I really just some outsider to them? Do they think I’m too much of a burden?
It was during lunch that Seoyoon retreated to the bathroom, hoping to find some solace in the quiet. She leaned over the sink, staring at her reflection, the bright fluorescent lights making her look pale and tired. Her stomach twisted in knots as she tried to push away the overwhelming thoughts, but they kept creeping back.
“Did you hear? Seoyoon’s practically living with them now. I mean, it's like she doesn't even have a life of her own anymore.”
“I heard she used to be so independent. Now she just hangs around them all the time. Kind of pathetic, honestly.”
Seoyoon flinched as the voices echoed through the bathroom door. She felt her chest tighten, her breath catching in her throat as the whispers seemed to close in on her. She wanted to leave, to escape, but her legs felt like they were made of stone.
When the bathroom door finally swung open and the girls walked out, Seoyoon was left standing there, her heart hammering in her chest. The walls around her seemed to close in, her throat tightening as the tears she had been holding back finally broke free. She sank to the floor, her back against the cold tile, pulling her knees to her chest as sobs wracked her body. The tears came in heavy waves, uncontrollable and painful, each one a reminder of how small and insignificant she felt.
They were right, she thought miserably. I don't belong with them. I don't belong anywhere.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but Seoyoon didn’t move to check it. She couldn’t bring herself to care. It wasn’t until the sobs began to slow that she finally took a shaky breath, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. She stood up slowly, her body aching from the weight of the breakdown, and looked at herself in the mirror. The reflection staring back at her seemed so unfamiliar, so broken.
She forced herself to take one last deep breath before she stepped out of the bathroom, trying to put on a brave face even though the hurt still simmered underneath.
But as soon as she stepped into the hallway, she heard a voice that made her heart stop—Jisung’s voice, calling her name.
“Seoyoon!” he shouted, concern in his tone as he jogged toward her. His eyes searched hers, catching the faint traces of red on her cheeks from her tears. “Hey, you okay?”
Seoyoon quickly wiped at her face again, offering a weak smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit of a headache.”
Jisung didn’t buy it for a second. He frowned, looking her over carefully. “Seoyoon… you don’t look fine. You sure you’re alright?”
Before she could respond, Felix appeared beside Jisung, eyes softening when he saw her. “Hey, Yoonie, we’ve got your back, you know that, right?” Felix’s words were warm, but there was a hint of concern in his voice.
Seoyoon swallowed hard, the lump in her throat making it harder to speak. “I know. I just… I don’t know why people keep talking about me. It’s like I don’t fit in with you guys. I’m just... an outsider. And I can’t help but feel like maybe you all are getting tired of me.”
Felix and Jisung exchanged a look, their expressions serious now. It was Jisung who spoke first, stepping closer to her. “You’re not an outsider, Yoonie. You’re part of our group. We want you here, okay? Don’t let anyone make you feel less than that.”
Felix smiled at her, his tone sincere. “We’re all family, Seoyoon. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You’ve got a place with us, always.”
For a moment, Seoyoon felt the weight of her worries start to lift, just a little. They really cared. She wasn’t a burden to them, not like she had feared. The support in their words, the understanding in their eyes, made her feel a little less alone. But the doubt still lingered, just under the surface, waiting for its chance to return.
With a shaky smile, she nodded. “Thanks, guys.” But deep down, she knew it would take more than just their words to calm the storm inside her.
The rest of the school day felt like a blur to Seoyoon. Her mind kept replaying the harsh whispers and judgmental stares, each word a dagger that twisted deeper into her chest. Despite the kind words from Jisung and Felix, the weight of the insecurity still clung to her, heavy and suffocating. She felt like she couldn’t escape the thoughts, the doubts that circled like vultures.
When the bell rang, signaling the end of the day, she shuffled toward the exit with the boys, but her steps felt slower than usual. The laughter and chatter of the others seemed distant, almost as if they belonged to a different world.
As they made their way to the car, Seoyoon noticed the way the boys glanced at her. They could tell something was off.
"Yoonie, you okay?" Jisung asked, his eyes flicking between her and the others. There was concern in his voice, but Seoyoon just gave him a tight, forced smile.
“Yeah, I’m fine, really. Just tired, I guess,” she mumbled, brushing her hair behind her ear as she climbed into the car. She didn’t want them to see what was happening inside her. She didn’t want to burden them with her mess, so she buried it deep, hiding behind the act of pretending everything was fine.
The ride home was quiet. The usual chatter that filled the car was noticeably absent, and Seoyoon could feel their eyes occasionally flicking to her in the rearview mirror, sensing the tension that hung in the air. She stared out the window, her mind racing, trying to focus on anything other than the ache in her chest. Just make it through the night. You can do this.
When they arrived home, the others made their way inside, but Seoyoon stayed behind, walking slowly to the front door. She could feel the weight of their stares lingering even after they entered the house.
She didn’t even acknowledge the others as she passed by them, heading straight to her room. She quietly closed the door behind her, locking it with a soft click. It was like an invisible barrier between her and the world outside—her only way of keeping everything at bay.
The silence in her room was deafening. Seoyoon stood there for a moment, her hand still on the door, before slowly sliding down to sit on the floor, her knees drawn to her chest. Her body felt heavy, like it was made of stone. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, but it didn’t help. The thoughts kept coming. The whispers, the insecurities, the feeling of not being enough.
Maybe they’re right… maybe I really don’t fit in. Maybe I’m just a burden to them, and I’ll eventually wear them out. They’ll get tired of me.
Her hands curled into fists on her knees, her nails digging into her skin as she tried to push the thoughts aside. But they wouldn’t go away. No matter how hard she tried to force them out, they just kept circling.
A knock on the door startled her, but she didn’t respond. She didn’t feel like talking, not to anyone, especially not when she felt like this.
“Yoonie, you in there?” Jisung’s voice came softly through the door. “Come on, we’re all just hanging out in the living room. You can join us if you want. We missed you.”
Seoyoon bit her lip, not trusting herself to speak. She didn’t want to drag them into her mess. She just wanted to be alone. The last thing she needed was to burden them more.
But there was a long silence before Jisung spoke again. "Yoonie, I know you're having a hard time right now. We’re not going to push you, but please, just remember you don’t have to go through this alone, okay? We’re here for you."
She swallowed hard, her throat tight. She wanted to respond, to tell him that she didn’t want to be a burden, that she didn’t want them to feel like they had to carry her pain, but the words got stuck in her throat.
Instead, she simply whispered, “I’m fine. Just need some space right now.”
She could hear the disappointment in Jisung's voice as he sighed softly before walking away. Seoyoon let out a shaky breath, pressing her palm to her forehead. She felt so incredibly small in that moment.
And then, she pulled her knees closer to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as if the pressure of holding herself together would somehow make the weight inside her lessen. I just need to get through today. Tomorrow will be better.
But even as she thought that, she couldn’t shake the sense of emptiness that seemed to follow her.
Seoyoon didn’t know when she fell asleep. Her head must’ve slipped down against the edge of the bedframe sometime after the quiet sobs had subsided, exhaustion overcoming her emotions. She hadn’t meant to cry; the tears had just come, sudden and raw, like a dam breaking. When she awoke, it wasn’t to the comforting embrace of sleep, but to the weight of her own sadness and the quiet hum of the house around her.
The room felt cold despite the warmth of the setting sun outside. She shivered slightly, rubbing her face with the back of her hand to erase the remnants of her tears, but there was still a heavy feeling in her chest that she couldn’t shake.
Just as she shifted to sit up, she heard a soft knock on the door. She flinched at the sound, wiping her eyes quickly as if trying to pretend she hadn’t just fallen apart. The door opened a crack before Seungmin’s familiar voice came through, gentle and warm.
“Yoonie? Dinner’s ready. I know you haven’t eaten since breakfast, and you need to eat something. You’ve gotta take care of yourself, okay?”
Seoyoon sat up slowly, her body aching from the position she’d slept in on the floor. She didn’t want to leave her room. She didn’t want to face anyone in this state, but Seungmin’s soft tone—there was no judgment in it, only care—pulled at her. She let out a deep breath, and with a reluctant nod, she pushed herself up.
“Okay… I’ll be right out,” she muttered, even though she wasn’t sure if she believed it herself.
She grabbed the hem of her shirt, smoothing out the creases as she stood in front of the mirror, making a conscious effort to look like she was holding it together. Her hair was messy from sleep, her eyes red and puffy, but she wiped away the worst of it and sighed. She couldn't keep hiding from them forever. She had to go out there eventually. I can do this.
Taking one last deep breath, she opened the door, stepping out into the hallway.
And there they were.
All eight of them, gathered together in the living room. As soon as she stepped out, they stopped what they were doing, eyes turning to her. A mixture of concern and tenderness filled the room, and before she knew what was happening, they were all standing up to welcome her, enveloping her in their warmth.
Chan was the first to approach, pulling her into his arms with a soft “Hey, Yoonie,” his voice laced with comfort. Then Felix followed, wrapping his arms around her from the side, offering her a gentle smile.
“Don't worry, Yoonie,” he whispered, “We’re here.”
Next was Minho, who gave her a small, playful nudge as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, guiding her into the living room with a quiet chuckle, as though trying to lift her spirits without saying much at all.
“You don’t have to do this alone, you know,” he murmured, his presence calming her like a soft blanket.
Seungmin, who had been the one to knock on her door, gently cupped her cheek with one hand, his touch light but full of reassurance. “You’re not a burden, Yoonie. Just eat with us. Please?”
Changbin nudged Jeongin, who had been quietly standing off to the side, and they both smiled at her. Jeongin stepped forward and placed a hand on her back, his voice quiet but full of warmth. “We’re not going anywhere, okay? Just come sit with us.”
Hyunjin was the last to approach, offering a soft kiss to her forehead, a simple gesture that melted Seoyoon's heart. “We love you, Yoonie. Don’t forget that. Always.”
Seoyoon blinked, the tears that had been threatening to come back already brimming at the edges of her eyes. The way they showered her with care, the way they all showed her love without asking for anything in return—it was almost too much to process. She felt silly for ever thinking she didn’t deserve it. She felt small in the best possible way.
“I feel… silly,” she murmured, though her heart was lighter than it had been all day. “I don’t know why you’re all so nice to me.”
“You deserve it,” Chan replied, smiling softly. “We take care of each other. That’s what family does.”
The warmth of their words wrapped around her like a protective cocoon, and she let herself relax into it, realizing that she didn’t have to hide everything anymore. She didn’t have to shoulder it all alone.
“Let’s eat, yeah?” Jisung grinned, taking her hand lightly and leading her to the table where the food was already set out.
They all settled in together around the table, and even though Seoyoon was still carrying the remnants of her sadness, the genuine love and care from the boys around her made the burden feel a little bit lighter. With each bite of food, with each laugh and soft conversation, her heart healed just a little more.
As they all dug into their dinner, Seoyoon glanced around the table, her eyes softening at the sight of the eight boys who’d slowly started to become her family.
Warnings- Talk about depression, Seoyoon opens an OF account, cutesy fluff at the end (sorta kinda)
W.C. 2.4k
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The following morning, Seoyoon rose early, even though her schedule was devoid of any classes. Instead of giving in to the temptation of returning to sleep, she decided to prepare breakfast for everyone before going on a jog to alleviate some stress. Once she was dressed, she gracefully moved to the kitchen, where she quickly whipped up a delicious spread of eggs, crispy bacon, and golden brown french toast. With the meal ready, she meticulously set the table and jotted down a brief note before making her way to the front door to slip on her running shoes.
However, just as Seoyoon was about to step outside, the sound of a yawn reached her ears, causing her to halt in her tracks. She slowly turned around to discover the source, and her gaze was met with a pale, bare chest. She momentarily froze before her eyes gradually traveled upwards to Chan's face. His face wore a sleepy and endearing expression, a stark contrast to his muscular physique.
"What're you doin', Yoon-ah?" Chan mumbled, his voice still slightly raspy from sleep. Seoyoon had to discreetly pinch her thigh to stifle a coo at his adorable state.
"Good morning, Channie. I was just heading out for a quick jog. I made breakfast if you're hungry," Seoyoon replied softly, her smile eliciting a happy response from Chan.
"Have you already eaten? Would you like to have breakfast together?" Chan was suddenly considerably more awake, his voice lighter and more animated.
"I've already had something, but I can sit with you if you'd like some company," Seoyoon offered, her intention to ease any worries the boys might have about her eating habits.
“ Yeah that would be nice ! I’ll be quick so i can go on the run with you” there was a slight infliction in his tone that showed seoyoon she had the choice to turn down his self invite. She of course agreed then they ate in silence before both leaving.
The run was silent for the most part as both of them had their earphones in. it wasn't until they both stopped to drink water did Seoyoon break the silence.
“So, i obviously can't stay here for free so talk to me about rent and how i can carry my load around the house and what the house rules are,” it had come out a little more harsh than she intended but when she looked in chans eyes she knew he understood the intention behind her words.
Chan tells her everything she needs to know, the rules are basic common courtesy and the chores are spread between the 9 of them so the cleaning gets done fast.
As they walked back to the apartment, the city buzzed softly around them, but Chan's voice broke through the ambient hum. "Do you have any boundaries you wanna add? Or anything we should know?" he asked gently, his tone careful, as if not to push too hard.
Seoyoon hesitated, her steps slowing for just half a second. She cleared her throat, buying herself a moment to steady the nerves bubbling under her skin.
“Actually,” she began, her voice quieter than usual, “there is something I need to say.” She cleared her throat again, almost reflexively, before letting the words spill out, as if unburdening herself would make the weight she carried a little lighter. “Not many people know this… I'm not the most open book. But I feel like it’s only fair that I let you guys in a little.”
Chan listened intently, his hands tucked into his pockets, his full attention on her.
“I… I struggle with panic disorder and clinical depression,” she confessed, her words steady but tinged with vulnerability. “I used to be on medication for it, but not anymore.” She paused briefly, gathering herself. “It got too expensive, so I stopped, but-” her lips curved into a small, reassuring smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, “-I’m doing a lot better now, so there’s really no need to worry.”
But worry was written all over Chan’s face. His forehead creased, his lips pressed together in a soft frown that he didn’t bother to hide. Seoyoon noticed it immediately, but she chose not to say anything. Instead, they walked the rest of the way in near silence, her words echoing in his head like a sad melody he couldn’t shake.
When they reached the apartment, the familiar warmth of the home greeted them. The door creaked open, revealing the boys lounging around the table. Some still had sleepy faces, their cheeks slightly puffy from just waking up, while others were already dressed, sipping coffee or scrolling through their phones.
As the pair stepped inside and began slipping off their shoes, Hyunjin looked up with a bright smile. “Seoyoon, we got your note! Breakfast was absolutely amazing!” he said, his words laced with genuine appreciation.
Seoyoon’s cheeks flushed faintly, and she dipped her head bashfully. “Was it? I’m so happy you liked it,” she replied, her tone soft, yet there was a flicker of pride in her voice.
Chan plopped down with the rest of the boys, and in no time, he was picking their plates, some leaning over to offer him bites from their own food. It was effortless, this closeness they shared, and Chan, despite his earlier thoughts weighing on him, couldn’t help but smile at their antics.
Seoyoon watched the scene for a moment, the warm chatter filling the room like sunlight spilling through a window. Then, with a quiet “excuse me,” she slipped away. She headed to her room, grabbing a change of clothes, before retreating to the bathroom for a long, hot shower.
As the water cascaded over her, she let out a sigh she didn’t realize she’d been holding. The apartment was alive with warmth and laughter, but somewhere deep inside, her heart still felt like it was treading water. She wanted so badly to believe her words from earlier, that she was doing better, that there was no need to worry. But standing there under the stream, she couldn’t help but wonder if saying it enough times might one day make it true.
After her shower, Seoyoon stood in front of the mirror, a towel draped over her shoulders, as droplets of water slid down her face and neck. She stared at her reflection, trying to gather herself. Her thoughts, however, drifted in a direction she hadn’t fully entertained before. It was an idea that had lingered in the back of her mind for a while now but always felt just out of reach—something she didn’t want to admit to herself, let alone anyone else.
She was struggling, not just emotionally but financially. The weight of her unpaid medical bills, the rising cost of groceries, and the sheer impossibility of affording her medications again weighed on her shoulders like an anchor. Despite how careful she was with spending, her savings were dwindling fast. The thought of starting an OnlyFans account had been a fleeting whisper before, something she'd dismissed. But lately, it was becoming louder, more persistent.
“It wouldn’t have to be explicit,” she murmured under her breath, her voice barely audible over the sound of the bathroom fan. “Just some photos here and there… maybe some fun, flirty stuff. It’s not like I’d be hurting anyone.” She looked at herself in the mirror again, her baggy clothes and guarded expression staring back. Could she even pull it off? Would anyone even care enough to subscribe?
Seoyoon sighed, wiping the foggy glass with her palm. The idea wasn’t just about money; it was about taking control in some strange way, reclaiming a part of herself that felt lost. But shame gnawed at her, too. What would people think of her? What would the boys think if they ever found out?
Seoyoon sat on the edge of her bed later that night, staring at her laptop. Her decision felt heavy, but it also felt like the only thing within her control. After a few clicks, she set up the framework for her OnlyFans account. She didn’t post anything yet, but the profile was there, waiting for her to take the plunge.
“This is just temporary,” she whispered to herself, her hands trembling slightly as she closed the laptop. “Just until I save enough to get back on my feet.” She decided she wouldn’t tell the boys—not yet. Not until she started making money. She didn’t want to deal with their judgment, or worse, their pity.
For the rest of the day, she began sending out applications to various part-time jobs around the city. Cafes, bookstores, even retail. Anything that could help her feel less like a burden. She knew living with the boys rent-free was a blessing, but the guilt still gnawed at her. She needed to contribute, somehow.
A week later, the living room was alive with movement and voices as the boys lounged around after dinner. Seoyoon hauled up in her room doing homework. The weight of Chan’s uncharacteristic silence pulled at the atmosphere. He sat perched on the armrest of the couch, his eyes distant and his hands fidgeting slightly. Across the room, Minho glanced up from his phone, narrowing his eyes.
“Hyung,” Minho said, breaking the idle chatter. “Spit it out. What’s bothering you?”
Chan let out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the group. One by one, their attention shifted to him, even Jeongin, who had been quietly munching on leftover snacks. Felix sat up straighter from where he was leaning against Jisung, his brows knitting together.
“It’s Seoyoon,” Chan began, his voice measured but heavy. “I had a conversation with her last week. She told me she struggles with panic disorder and clinical depression. She used to be on medication, but she stopped because it got too expensive. And… she didn’t tell any of us.”
The room went quiet, the weight of the revelation sinking in. Changbin, who had been sipping water at the dining table, froze mid-drink and looked over. “Wait, what? She told you that?”
Chan nodded. “Yeah. She didn’t say it lightly either. She looked terrified to even bring it up.”
“Why wouldn’t she tell us?” Jeongin asked softly, his voice tinged with worry. “We’re her friends… aren’t we?”
“Of course we are,” Felix said, his voice laced with frustration at the situation. “But mental health isn’t something easy to talk about, especially when you feel like a burden. I’ve been there, you know. Sometimes it’s easier to just… keep it to yourself.”
“But we’re her family now, aren’t we?” Jisung interjected, his tone sharper than usual. “We’ve made that clear. She shouldn’t feel like she has to hide things from us.”
“That’s not how it works, Sungie,” Minho said, crossing his arms. “Trust isn’t built just because we say we care. She’s been through a lot, clearly. It’s going to take time for her to open up.”
Jisung opened his mouth to argue, but Changbin cut in. “Minho’s right. We can’t expect her to just magically feel safe. And honestly, it’s kind of on us too. Have we really done enough to show her that we’re here for her?”
“What else can we do?” Hyunjin asked, leaning forward on the couch. “I mean, we’re already letting her live here, eating with us, hanging out. Isn’t that enough?”
“It’s not just about the surface-level stuff,” Seungmin said, his voice calm but firm. “It’s about emotional safety. She probably doesn’t want to burden us with her problems, and she might not think we’d even understand.”
Jeongin’s face fell slightly. “I don’t want her to think we don’t care. She’s always been so nice to us, even when she’s quiet.”
“She probably does care, deep down,” Felix said, placing a comforting hand on Jeongin’s shoulder. “But she’s used to being alone. That kind of thing doesn’t change overnight.”
Changbin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he thought. “Okay, but what do we actually do? Just keep waiting for her to come to us? What if she never does?”
“That’s the thing,” Chan said, finally speaking up again. “We don’t push her. We don’t demand she tell us everything. We just… keep being there. Keep showing her that we’re not going anywhere.”
“Even if it’s frustrating,” Minho added. “Even if it feels like we’re in the dark sometimes.”
Jisung sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. “I just hate the idea of her dealing with this alone. It makes me feel… useless.”
“You’re not useless, Sungie,” Felix said softly, his hand still on Jisung’s shoulder. “You care. We all do. That’s what matters.”
Jeongin nodded. “We just have to keep reminding her that she’s not alone. Even if she doesn’t believe it yet.”
Hyunjin slouched back into the couch, letting out a long breath. “Fine. But if she ever does open up more, I’m going to make sure she knows she’s stuck with us. No more of this ‘burden’ nonsense.”
The group chuckled softly, the tension in the room beginning to dissolve. Changbin clapped his hands together. “Alright, so we’re all on the same page then. We’re going to be patient, supportive, and not screw this up.”
Chan smiled faintly, looking around at his members with a mixture of pride and gratitude. “You guys are good people. She’s lucky to have you.”
Felix smirked. “She’s lucky to have us? Don’t forget you’re part of this, hyung.”
“I know,” Chan said, his smile growing. “But honestly? I think we’re the lucky ones.”
The conversation drifted into lighter topics as the boys relaxed into the late evening. Eventually, they found themselves huddled together on the couches and floor, a tangle of limbs and blankets. Jisung and Hyunjin were bickering playfully over who got the last pillow, while Jeongin had fallen asleep with his head on Changbin’s shoulder. Felix and Minho were curled up at the far end of the couch, quietly chatting, and Seungmin had somehow ended up sprawled across Chan’s lap.
As the night wore on, their laughter turned to soft murmurs and the occasional yawn. By the time they all drifted off to sleep, they were a pile of warmth and comfort, their bond stronger than ever. Even though Seoyoon wasn’t there with them, they knew they’d be ready for her whenever she decided to lean on them.
Warnings- HEAVY TRIGGER WARNING, S/H, Depression, Anxiety, Eating Disroders, these topics will not be light i will be going into detail. there will be some dark humor on seoyoons part, there will be eventual smut, seoyoon smokes weed a lot, poly!skz, very crude language and descriptions, Seoyoon starts OF
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to be continued..
here is the playlist to get a feel for the vibe of the plot :3 !
Note- there will be a face claim but obviously you can imagine yourself or whoever you like this is just someone who i though matched the aesthetic of my character (laid back, indie style clothing) her ig is peace.yami. i've had this draft for months now and i'm excited to see what it becomes i'm very open to feedback and how i can do better so let me know 😎❤️🫶
Once Seoyoon calmed her breathing she sat there for a second with her face tingling and her body numb thinking about what excuse she could give Chan as to why she can't go. But as her brain began to think she realized that this friendship might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, she may never find friends as tight and as kind as these and she's just not ready to let her self-destruction ruin this quite yet.
That being said, Seoyeon's body still heavy heart still shaking she gets up and hops in the shower so she can hangout with Chan. She gets dressed into a pair of light blue flowy pants and a white tank top with a matching white sweater to go over. Seoyoon looks at her phone and texts Chan her address. When she looks back up at the mirror in her room she lets out a deep breath and smiles. She needs this to look realistic; she doesn't need someone to pity her.
Her awkward facial modeling in the mirror was interrupted by a ping from her phone—a text from Chan, indicating that he had arrived. Her heart started to beat a little quicker before she rushed out the door, she took a big hit of her dab pen before putting it in her purse hoping it would calm her nerves enough not to make an embarrassment of herself.
As she locked up and descended the stairs, Chan was leaning on the car, waiting for her. As their eyes met, an unknown force seemed to push her emotions to the surface, making her want to break down in tears and seek comfort in his arms. His eyes exuded an overwhelming compassion that momentarily shook her smile, though she quickly regained composure. Seoyoon approached him, waving, but instead of reciprocating, Chan looked concerned, quickly sensing that something was bothering her.
“Are you okay, Yoonie-shi?” Chan gently held her arms, scrutinizing her with care. Despite feeling small under his gaze, she playfully shook him off, reassuring him that she was fine, and proceeded to the passenger side of the car.
Chan let it go for the time being and got in the car with her, before he drove off he gave her his phone to let her play music. Seoyoon chose her Twice playlist, considering it a safe choice since almost everyone loves Twice. The short drive to the restaurant remained comfortably silent.
They both had their food and were working on the second bottle of soju.
Once they settled in and had their food, they began working on their second bottle of soju. Seoyoon couldn't help but giggle, noticing Chan's seemingly high tolerance, while she was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. Chan smiled fondly at her, but his concern grew as she appeared unfocused and slightly pouty.
“Maybe we should slow down on the soju, doll,” Chan suggested, attempting to ease any tension.
“You don't understand, Channie. My life has been so tough—I deserve this,” Seoyoon mumbled, her head now resting on the table as she began to cry softly. Chan might not have noticed if it weren't for the faint sniffle that caught his ears.
“Oh, Yoonie-ah, what's wrong? Please talk to Channie,” he urged, his voice gentle and sincere, prompting Seoyoon to look up with teary eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut, then let out a sob. To Chan, she looked like a little kid throwing a tantrum, and for a moment, he couldn't help but find her absolutely adorable.
She did a few exaggerated gasps of air before she spit out,
“ I- I’m getting evicted and i have thirty days to find a new apartment in my price range, on top of it i have so, so much homework to get done and i just- i just can’t anymore you know?”
Chan was once again stunned. His heart can’t help but hurt for the girl and the pitiful look on her face. He grabs her hand before speaking,
"Seoyoon-ah, don't worry, everything will be okay, alright? The boys and I have an extra room that we were using to store a couple of instruments, but it's nothing that can't be moved. How about you consider staying with us?"
Seoyoon's eyes widen in surprise, her mind racing for a moment before she shakes her head rapidly.
"No, no, no, I can't do that. I don't want to intrude, and besides, the boys don't know anything about my situation. It wouldn't be fair to just spring it onto them without knowing if they'd be comfortable with it."
Chan's eyes narrowed slightly, assuming a parental expression as if he were about to scold his child. Seoyoon noticed the change in his demeanor and instinctively curled in on herself, peering up at him through her eyelashes.
“Seoyoon-shi, let us help you, please. You don't have to go through this alone… How about I talk to the others about it first, and then we'll take it from there? How does that sound?” Chan's voice initially carried a strict tone, but as he continued to gaze at her, his demeanor softened. Seoyoon took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding with a small voice, agreeing that she would be okay with that.
After savoring the delicious ramyeon, Chan surprised Seoyoon with a sweet gesture by buying her an ice cream before they headed back. They stood outside Seoyoon's soon-to-be old apartment, smiling, and both thanking each other for the fun night.
“I have to head back to the boys now, and you should get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day with all the packing to do,” Chan said playfully, winking at her before turning to walk away. Seoyoon playfully rolled her eyes at his teasing remark, watching him as he walked away, and then she made her way into her apartment.
As soon as Chan stepped through the door, he was bombarded with questions about how the hangout went. With a smile, he redirected everyone to the living room, eager to share every detail. As he recounted the events, his expression turned solemn when he reached the part where Seoyoon broke down in tears. The boys exchanged worried glances as Chan explained her eviction and need for a place to stay.
In an instant, Felix and Jeongin sprang into action, rushing to the empty room to get it ready for Seoyoon. Chan had expected the boys' agreement, given how they all seemed drawn to her and willingly shared a piece of their lives with her, even after just a few days. With a sense of contentment, he headed to his own room, feeling compelled to call Seoyoon and share the news.
To his surprise, Seoyoon answered the phone. Her voice was soft and shy as she greeted him. Chan cleared his throat before breaking the news, "Hey, Seoyoon, so, bad news... The boys said they are more than okay with you moving in."
Seoyoon let out a relieved breath, her tone tinged with humor, "You're such an ass, Chan. I thought for a second they said no. I really appreciate this. I'll owe you forever." As she spoke, her voice broke, and once again, tears welled up in her eyes. But this time, they were tears of relief. Amidst sniffles, she whispered tiny thank-yous before telling him goodnight and hanging up the phone.
Before Chan had called, Seoyoon was sitting in her bathtub head leaned onto her knees while she stared deep in thought. Thoughts of her past and the seemingly relentless cycle of sadness and hardship swirled in her mind. She couldn't help but wonder what she might have done in a past life to deserve such a heavy burden.
However, as she answered the call, something unexpected happened. Instead of feeling the usual weight of melancholy and emptiness, her heart was enveloped in a tender warmth. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, Seoyoon found herself genuinely believing someone when they assured her that everything would eventually be okay. The realization brought tears to her eyes,they were not tears of despair; they were tears of a fragile hope that perhaps the future could hold something different, something brighter.
After washing up, Seoyoon returned to her room, a genuine smile adorning her face as she packed some of her belongings. As the end of the week arrived, all eight boys gathered in the middle of Seoyoon's apartment, attentively listening to her directions. Once she finished giving instructions, they sprang into action, eagerly helping her with the move.
Seoyoon didn't have many belongings left to move, as she no longer needed most of her furniture. Despite this, the boys worked diligently, and the process progressed surprisingly quickly. In just 2 ½ hours, they managed to complete the job, leaving Seoyoon feeling grateful and overwhelmed by their kindness.
Now settled in her new apartment and finally alone in her room, Seoyoon decides it's the perfect time to start unpacking and carefully decorating her space to reduce the clutter. With music playing in the background, she takes a moment to relax and pulls out a new cart to smoke, creating a soothing vibe for herself.
About 20 minutes into her peaceful moment, a knock on the door startles her, prompting her to hurriedly search for clothes that would hide her scarred skin, as she was only in skimpy pajamas. "ONE SECOND!" she calls out from inside before opening the door to find Changbin standing there with a gentle smile on his face.
Seoyoon opens the door wider, stepping aside to let him in. Changbin takes a quick glance around the room before returning the soft smile. "Do you need any help, Seoyoon-shi?" he asks, to which Seoyoon nods with gratitude, a small smile gracing her face. Together, they work in a harmonious rhythm, helping each other unpack and arrange items.
As they make good progress, Changbin starts to feel a little bored but suddenly remembers what Jisung had told him earlier.
“Hey, Seoyoon, Sungie was telling us about how you're producing your own song. Is it okay if we listen?" Changbin's eyes were filled with genuine interest as he asked, leaving Seoyoon momentarily shocked before quickly responding.
"Oh, yeah, of course. Just, um, don't expect too much. I mean, I'm not that good," Seoyoon said, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves. She pulled out her phone and sent the song file to Changbin, trying to hide her shy and nervous blush by keeping her head down.
As Changbin received the file and glanced up at her with a mischievous grin, Seoyoon couldn't help but wonder what he had in mind. Before she could ask, Changbin burst out of the room in a fit of giggles, and Seoyoon took a few seconds to process what just happened and why he ran away. The realization hit her, and she ran after him.
Changbin made his way to the living room, calling all the boys to gather there. Seoyoon finally caught up with him and playfully dropped to her knees, begging him not to play the song out loud. But Changbin's grin only grew wider, and he proceeded to hook his phone up to the speakers. The other boys entered the room, curious about the commotion.
"Well, I had this amazing idea that we would all listen to the new song Seoyoon made together. Wouldn't that be fun?" Changbin explained to the guys, who readily agreed. He pressed play, and the room filled with the melody. Seoyoon couldn't bear to watch the others' reactions, so she dropped her head into her knees, feeling a mix of nervousness and vulnerability.
I always thought I was such a fool
나는 늘 내가 참 바보 같았고
At some point, I feel dizzy
언제부턴가 음 나 어지러운 듯해
I was always very anxious
나는 늘 내가 참 불안했었고
Swimming is still difficult
헤엄치는 건 음 아직도 어려워
I don't want to dance on my own
내 맘대로 춤을 추고픈 게 아니에요
I just wanted to get drunk
난 그저 취하고 싶었을 뿐이에요
Don't look at me with those sharp eyes
그런 날카로운 눈으로 바라보진 말아요
I just wanted to do well…
난 그저 잘하고 싶었을 뿐이에요…
Seoyoon's eyes remained closed as she hummed in perfect harmony to the song, completely immersed in its melody. She lost herself in the music until it came to an end, and she opened her eyes, anxiously awaiting their reaction. To her delight, the boys erupted into cheers, showering her with praise and admiration for her incredible talent. Some of them couldn't resist patting her head or pulling her into brief, excited hugs. Seoyoon blushed, her face radiant with joy and gratitude, though she tried to contain her excitement with a bright but shy smile.
At that very moment, every boy in the room realized how much they adored the glow on her face, the happiness that radiated from within. It struck them all deeply, and they silently made it their mission to bring that same sparkle of love and happiness to her life every day. From that point on, they cherished every opportunity to witness her giggle and see her shine, knowing that Seoyoon's happiness was something they all wanted to protect and nurture.
