#poly asks

[polypolyanna]

Xerxes names of al and ed ?

It's been a hot second since I've thought of their Xerxesian names, but my notes say Edward's name is Edmaeil and Alphonse's name is Alinil. I do recall that I created their names by looking at Persian names and finding names that felt similar to their Amestrian names while keeping the Ed and Al part of their names. Though on the website I used, Behind the Name, there was no Persian name that started with Ed so I took the name Esmaeil and just replaced the s with an d. And I unfortunately cannot figure out which name I mangled to create Alinil's name. Curses to past me for not writing it down. I may tweak their names further as I'm not sure if just, changing around letters in a name is correct or anything? I did make their names a few years ago when I was younger and dumber and all my attention has been on my story Dwarf Still in the Flask so I haven't done any research on my Xerxes AU recently. So if anyone has any information on names and such could you be so kind to swing it my way?

[angelasscribbles]

65 Poly Asks Part 5

Time for part five of these asks for polycules. I'm doing them in ten question increments.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

I’m answering for my Bad Romance gang, obviously.

How does being in a polyamorous relationship influence how boundaries are taught to their kids? They very much teach their children autonomy and consent.

How do the kids feel about their parent(s) being polyamorous? Are they supportive, indifferent, or actively opposed? Indifferent. To them, it’s always been this way, so it’s normal. That could change as they become older, we’ll sell.

Have cultural dynamics played a part in how the polycule operates? So much!! Due to Liam and Riley’s position in Cordonian society, they are not open about their relationship dynamics. Close friends and family know, but not the public at large.

Are any of the members keeping their polyamory a secret? Why? I’ve had them keep it quiet to avoid a royal scandal. I have thought about having them basically come out about it. Haven’t decided yet.

For mono-poly relationships, how does the monogamous partner see and experience their relationship with a polyamorous person? Their relationships with their metamours? Drake and Liam were best friends before either of them met Riley. Their friendship was sorely tested when they were competing for her affection but they are back to being close now. Drake has learned to tolerate Max and even likes him (though he’d never admit it). I have a story idea for something that would really showcase this, but haven’t written it yet. Drake understands why Riley loves Liam and even Max, but her relationship with Rashad irks him. They maintain a polite civility, nothing more.

How did any monogamous partners deal with the idea of opening up a previously closed relationship? Was it a difficult change? Drake struggled so much in the beginning. He couldn’t accept the idea at first and even left her for awhile. He was miserable, though and decided to come back and try to make it work. And it did. It took a lot of work, though.

Did any monogamous partners discover they were polyamorous after the relationship opened up? How did they find out? Not exactly, not in BR anyway, though Drake has learned that he is open to threesomes if Riley initiates them. I have a chapter in mind to show how a friendship grows between him and Riley’s FWB, Siobhan who occasionally joins them in the bedroom. She will become something more than a friend because of the shared intimacy. So maybe in the long run he will. In Victim of Love, however, He does find this out as he, Riley, Liam, and Hana become a foursome. He learns this as he and Hana just gradually grow closer.

Do any monogamous partners still struggle to cope with polyamory? What gets them through the hard times? Not anymore. Drake has learned that he has a bit of cuck kink, so that helps heaps.

Were any monogamous partners completely fine with polyamory from the beginning? No.

How do the polyamorous halves of the mono-poly relationships feel about dating a monogamous person? Is it a unique struggle or smooth sailing? It was such a struggle in the beginning and really it was going on while Riley was learning that she was poly and how to navigate all that. On top of the crazy issues she and Liam were going through. It was a hot mess express.

[angelasscribbles]

65 Poly Asks Part 4

Time for part four of these asks for polycules. I'm doing them in ten question increments.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

I’m answering for my Bad Romance gang, obviously.

Are any of the polycule members aromantic? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general? No. But Riley’s best friend, Hana is aromantic. They slept together once. It didn’t disrupt their friendship but it’s why Liam didn’t like her in the beginning.

Are any of the polycule members asexual? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general? No.

Do any of the polycule members consider their relationship(s) to be queerplatonic? How does that influence their relationship boundaries and their relationship to polyamory in general? Nope.

How have their members’ respective family relationships influenced their polyamorous dynamics? I haven’t explored this in Bad Romance, but in Complicated, while they are navigating things, Drake finds out that his parents had an open marriage and it shocked him.

Were any of the members raised in a polyamorous family? No.

Are any of the polycule members parents? How many kids do they have? Oh, yes. Most of them at this point. Riley has five children. Liam is the father of two of them. Drake, Max and Rashad each fathered one. Rashad never wanted children, the youngest child (his) was not on purpose. He is around sporadically and has willingly given the role of father over to the men who are Riley’s nesting partners. I have toyed with the idea of either Liam or Drake having a woman show up with a child of theirs and see how that goes.

If there aren’t any kids yet, will there ever be? See above answer.

How would the polycule deal with one member wanting kids, but another member never wanting kids? It was never a problem because Rashad doesn’t live with Riley nor do they see each other daily or even weekly. His lack of wanting children didn’t affect her at all. Liam always wanted kids. Drake never actively wanted them, but he wasn’t opposed to having them.

If the relationship opened up after children were already in the picture, how was the change explained to them? Was it explained at all? This polycule was in place before any children came along. They have always had three fathers, it’s normal to them. Since Liam and Riley are the king and queen of Cordonia, this isn’t public knowledge and I have toyed with the idea of writing about one of the kids having issues with it as he comes of age and maybe isn’t super cool with not being able to acknowledge who his biological father is.

Do all members of the polycule raise children together, or are there designated “parent” members? The four members that are nesting partners (Riley, Drake, Max and Liam) all function as parents. They make no distinction between whose child is whose. They all parent but Max takes on the bulk of the child care, working from home, overseeing tutors and private lessons, making breakfast, etc.

[angelasscribbles]

65 Poly Asks Part 3

Time for part three of these asks for polycules. I'm doing them in ten question increments.

Part One

Part Two

I’m answering for my Bad Romance gang, obviously.

How intense does each member feel compersion toward their partners and metamours? Max feels it very strongly, he really just wants everyone to be happy, followed by Rashad. Riley and Liam feel it a moderate amount mostly within the polycule, but they still get jealous over attention toward potential romantic interests outside the polycule. I’d say Drake might not feel it much at all.

Who has the strongest communication skills in the group? Who has the weakest? Liam has excellent communication skills in the political world but struggles more with interpersonal communication. Riley, Max and Rashad are strong communicators. Drake is on the struggle bus.

Who does the most scheduling out of all the members? Riley, as she has the most partners.

How do they deal with feelings of loneliness if their partner(s) are spending time with their other partner(s)? Riley struggles least because she has the most partners and so is most likely to be able to distract herself with someone else. Liam buries himself in work. Max maintains an active social life and has more varied interests than the others so he can distract himself fairly easily. Drake hits the gym, the gun range or a fishing pier. Or, sometimes the whiskey.

Does the polycule ever have get-togethers or dates where everyone is present? What are they like? Yes. Boisterous. Lol.

Of the members who live together, what are the household dynamics like? How do they split chores, manage finances, etc.? Well, Liam is richer than God, so finances aren’t a problem. They all live at the palace with maids and chefs, so chores aren’t a big issue. Max however does prefer to do a lot of the cooking regardless and they are all hands on with the children, not really using nannies. Since Liam and Riley have an entire country to run and Drake is busy keeping all of them safe, Max takes on the bulk of the domestic stuff like making everyone’s lunches and working from home so he can be with the kids more. Max does a lot of little acts of service for the other members of the polycule, including Drake (who is his meta, not a partner) because it’s his love language.

Of the members who live together, do they all sleep in one bed too? All separate bedrooms? Something in-between? Something in between. Liam, Riley and Max share the master bedroom and the double king bed. Max has a separate bedroom but rarely uses it. Drake has his own bedroom as he is the straight and mono member although he has slept in the big bed with everyone for various reasons, like on a movie night or just to cuddle or because he fell asleep there while taking care of the baby.

What are their sexual dynamics like? Is group sex frequent, or is it purely one-on-one? Group sex is frequent for Riley, Liam and Max. There has been one foursome where Drake did participate but only interacted sexually with Riley. Riley and Drake are ninety percent one on one though she has invited Siobhan along a time or two. Riley and Rashad are one on one. Liam does carve out individual time for both Max and Riley.

Do boundaries shift depending on which partners are involved in sex or romance? Absolutely! In and out of the bedroom Max is submissive. Liam and Riley are both switches. But boundaries did have to be discussed and set for threesomes because Max can’t obey two masters at the same time. Liam and Max have their own dynamic separate from the way it goes when all three are together and the same for Liam and Riley and Max and Riley. I would say Riley and Max have a very playful dynamic while Riley and Drake have an intense physical connection. Liam and Riley have a complicated relationship full of a lot of push and pull. Riley and Rashad connect on an intellectual level and love experiencing cultural events together.

What kind of boundaries exist outside of a romantic dynamic? Are friends-with-benefits considered metamours? Hook-ups? So far the only consistent FWB is Siobhan. I would say she’s gradually become seen as a meta. Hook ups are strictly on a don’t ask, don’t tell basis. Expect for Max. Riley tells Max literally everything.

[polyamorouscultureis]

Hi! I had a question because im very new to accepting myself as being polyamorous and want to figure stuff out.

I am in a 2 year relationship with my partner but I have recently (over the past 4 months) found myself falling for another person AS WELL AS my partner.

My question was I like these people both very much but I'm not sure the person I've caught feelings for would consider themselves polyamorous. Is it possible for them to be monogamous (towards me) while I am dating more than one person? Is there another term for that? Or is it still polyamorous just in denial?

Thank you!!!

I think it depends on the person. Monogamous people can still be in poly relationships. If you start dating two people and they're both happy just dating you, they may very well be monogamous. There is of course the chance that being in a polycule will help them realize they're also polyamorous, if that's true for them. But the only thing that is undeniably poly is the relationship itself. It's a poly relationship, but that doesn't inherently mean everyone in it is poly themselves.

[eastofakkala]

For SangChengQing:

Is the relationship healthy?

Who gives the best advice?

Do A and B have a stronger bond with each other? Or do C and B or C and A have a stronger bond? Or are A, B, and C close together [equally]?

And even though it's not on the list, I'm curious: How do they get together as a throuple?

Oooh, this is a good one! I actually haven't thought much about SangChengQing despite writing one fic for them yet, so it's a good reason to do so.

Yes, definitely. All three of them balance one another out really well, learn to communicate, and make each other better human beings. Wen Qing helps the other two with their rage issues (yeah, Nie Huaisang might not scream and yell, but he can hold a grudge like nobody's business). Nie Huaisang can help the other two with their workaholic tendencies. Jiang Cheng probably stands up to others on his lovers' behalf because they're his people and he's ride-or-die for his people.

Probably Wen Qing, though Huaisang also surprises both his partners with his insights.

Initially, I'd say that Jiang Cheng has a stronger bond with either Wen Qing or Nie Huaisang than they do with each other. Huaisang may have less of a problem with the Wens than his da-ge, but she's still part of the family that killed his dad. Wen Qing is also kind of suspicious of Huaisang, probably for similar reasons. However, they get over it and become very close as well.

Hmm. I kinda have an AU pictured in my head in which they all get together at Cloud Recesses. Huaisang sees that Jiang Cheng has his eye on Wen Qing and vice versa. He's also probably initially into Jiang Cheng, but can appreciate that Wen Qing is both physically attractive and has cool vibes, so proposes that the three try getting together. And it goes...really, really well. Well enough that he rolls up to the Unclean Realm after the little excursion to fight the fairy statue being all "Heyyyyyy, da-ge, you didn't betroth me to anyone, right? Well, guess what? I want to get married now" "Huaisang are you in trouble? What did you do?" But as a result, Qinghe Nie is aligned by marriage with Yunmeng Jiang and the Dafan Wen branch of the family (yes, this is awkward for Mingjue, but his brother's happiness is the only thing in the world that can supersede his hatred of the Wens). Obviously, this will change the Sunshot Campaign. A LOT. Because it is me and canon made me sad enough, it'll change things for the better.

...damn it, I'm going to have to write this fic now.

[jaimebluesq]

How about

- "Who is the closest to the child" for Nie parents? - "Who sleeps in the middle" for 3zun?

Thank you so much for allowing me to indulge in some headcanons :D

For the Nie parents - for context, I tend to name them Nie Shizheng (aka sect leader Nie), He Yaling (aka Madame Nie), and Nie Ziniao (former opera performer/current concubine who came from a sad background and voluntarily took the Nie name when she was brought to the Unclean Realm): The answer is Nie Ziniao - Nie Shizheng and He Yaling both have sect duties on top of being parents, but Nie Ziniao has nobody but the boys to dedicate herself to, so it's only natural that they're closer.

For 3zun: It'd definitely not JGY - he always needs to sleep on the outside edge of the bed, it's a safety thing. So NMJ tends to wind up in the middle most often (there was a time he and LXC switched places, but the heaviest of them being on one side of the bed for a significant period of time messed with the mattress - plus NMJ's tits are the best pillows ever and LXC and JGY like to fall asleep on them).

[mannaheim-if]

Does frodes opinions of the ros change if they're in a polyship? If so, how?

Thorin and Eydis he likes individually and that won't change.

Thorin and ?? Is a large, resounding 'no' and Frode hates every second of it.

Eydis and Majida : He might find Majida a little less terrifying, and is glad she’s watching your back when he’s not there. They’re not quite friends, but he’s happy with being acquaintances.

A polyship with Björn and Æsc does change his opinions a little. He finds Björn a little less annoying with Æsc there and might even become friends with him. (He's an excellent uncle to Tove)

Æsc and Majida is an interesting combination for him. He gets along well with Æsc, but as you all know now, is scared of Majida. But maybe, with MC and Æsc's encouragement, might eventually become friends with Majida.