#poly z team

[robrobrobrobrobrobrobrob]

They take shifts throughout the workday, HR regulations are a myth.

[pacificwaternymph]

Dispatch AU where Z-team are all still villains and Robert is their favorite civilian that they periodically kidnap and are all not so secretly in love with.

Except he's also still Mecha Man, who they all hate with a burning passion.

Do you see the vision

[lasciviousliii]

He's Exactly Where He Wants To Be

I guess I never really got to compile all of them...So here it is!

── .✦ Want to request a drawing? My asks are open! You can also support me on ko-fi!

[birthofcassiopeia]

sorry guys, the sheet ghost has been dying

I am gonna finally feed u guys tho lol

Waisan Robert my beloved, I have no idea where the hc began but I do know that it would be hilarious on a drunk karaoke night with the z-team.

I think it’s funny before or after the reveal, like, the team has been trying to get him drunk enough to do it, and finally he does because he’s drunk and lost a bet. he got onstage, and proceeded to sing the accidentally selected song word for word. He then immediately passes out once off-stage. They know next to nothing about Robert (even after the reveal) and this doesn’t tell them shit. Ofc Prism was filming though, so everyone demanded that it be sent to the gc. fast forward to the next morning which consists of Robert remembering nothing after his fifth shot that night and a “wtf is this??” Text from Chase with a video attached.

[shitposting-for-the-soul]

Z team who want Robert seeing Waterboy return Roberts jacket and like every question they ask makes it worse. No Waterboy didn't steal it, Robert and him were getting dinner together and Waterboy was cold (constantly moist). No, it wasn't a date it was just dinner because it was Robert's birthday. No, Robert didn't only tell Waterboy, Waterboy independently found out it was Robert's birthday and invited him out for dinner. it's not weird he forgot to return it, he walked Robert to his apartment and Robert told him he could return it later. Z team is extremely jealous watching the unrestrained Waterboy rizz.

[lesbian-with-exceptions]

I can just imagine Poly Z-team going absolutely FERAL when Robert actually starts gaining healthy weight back along with getting his muscle back too. Yeah, Rob is def a twink and he does wear some armor in his Mecha Man uniform, but he had some thickness to him before the coma.

I like to imagine that everyone on Z-team just leaves him food on his desk or makes him come to their place for dinner or they take him out for some good greasy food after a particularly shitty day and then he has a soft layer of fat to cushion the muscle and then Chase fake gags every time he notices them either making Fuck Me eyes at Robert from across the room or completely failing to keep their hands to themselves in the office. Galen absolutely hates them because he has to listen to their Break room chatter that consists of them listing the ways they wanna rail Robert lmao

[secretlypansexualmango]

Post-Shroud Robert starts disappearing on the same day every month like clockwork, at first the Z team doesn’t notice, but eventually they figure out it’s the same day every single month, he never misses it. They try and fail to stalk him for a bit, until he just sighs, gives up, and asks them if they want to come with him.

They, of course, deign to accept. Only to find out that he’s been going to the local children’s hospital as Mecha Man???? As if he couldn’t get any more heroic and kind??? How are they supposed to deal with this, how is he even more charming and alluring??? Fuck?????

[spacedace]

Flambert/Poly Z Team prompt thing:

I've been thinking about Robert having to have his own dispatcher when he's out as Mecha Man on night/weekend shifts due to SDN policy, and it turns out he causes more dispatchers to quite in the first two weeks than the Z Team did in their entire time with the Pheonix Program.

Its not that he's setting their cars on fire or anything like that. He's polite and professional with each dispatcher that get assigned to him. Easy-going and charming in that sarcastic, deadpan Robert way that tricks every new dispatcher into thinking this is going to be easy.

And then the shift actually starts, and they realize that oh.

Mecha Man is a feral lunatic who does not give a single flying fuck if they've ordered him to take a call to pick up coffee for Vanderstenk's latest vapid girlfriend or to return to base because he just got stabbed twelve times and should really get checked out by medical.

He's Mecha Man. He's got people to save, not rich assholes to appease or time to get stitches he could just as easily do himself in the mech while on his way to the next incident.

He is immune to all the begging, pleading, bribes and threats his various dispatchers attempt to use to reel him in. One offers to sleep with him if he'll just please stop overriding their controls over the dispatching system and let them actually assign him to calls. He locks them out of the computer terminal completely, hacks the DMV so that they have to get their driver's license reissued, and forwards a recording of the call to their boyfriend. He's petty and hates cheaters, what can he say.

Blazer is at the end of her rope.

She thought Robert would be easy for whoever she assigned to him. He's familiar with the system, can easily adapt to a wide range of situations and has a lot of experience under his belt. But no, instead he's somehow made the Z team look well behaved.

By week three she's completely out of options.

Royd saw the kind of insanity Robert put all the other dispatchers through and isn't touching that with a ten foot pole. Galen's heard all about Robert's shenanigans and knows better than to put himself through that. Chase just laughs in her face when she asks him if he'd be willing to do it.

Not even a short chuckle or burst of giggles either. She genuinely was worried that he might actually pass out from laughing so hard. Gasping variations of I fucking told you so at her while he did, because he had, in fact, warned her that trying to integrate that feral raccoon bastard into the SDN system on the hero side of things wouldn't end well.

She might have been tempted to just let Robert act as his own dispatcher, if he hadn't shown himself to be completely incapable of following SDN policy or having basic self preservation instincts.

("I'm fine, Mandy. I follow the company policies and do in fact know what my limit is."

"Right. And you haven't just been hacking the system to make it look like your following policy. That's why you were across town in the middle of a fight with a villain while the system showed you on your rest break back here. And i'm not going to even dignify that other blatant lie with a response.")

Which leaves her with only one option left.

When the Z Team was running every dispatcher off with their antics, the only person that could get them to get their shit together was Robert. Now that it was Robert that was the problem child, it only seemed reasonable to turn to the Z Team to get him back on track.

"Hey, Mecha Bitch, get your ass back here and take your fucking break."

"I will in a second, I want to make another pass over the park and see if I can spot that villain that got away from Sonar earlier this week. He's been spotted in the area a few times now and -"

"And you have ten minutes to get back here before I feed the food I made you to your sentient potato. I made sure there's plenty of broccoli in it so the fat little fuck's farts are extra lethal when you get home tonight."

"...You know I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually starting to miss when you used to just threaten to set the office on fire if I didn't listen to you."

"I can start setting those ugly fucking doll things on Karen's desk on fire too, if you want."

*sigh* "As tempting as it would be to finally be free of those haunted little bastards, Mal said destroying the host item can release the evil spirits inside. She might have just been fucking woth me but I do not want to find out the hard way that she wasn't."

"Oh shit, for real? Damn, good thing you're gonna be here in less than ten minutes to keep me from getting haunted by evil doll demon shits, right Bob Bob?"

Robert is back in less than ten minutes.

Flambae even manages to bully him into going to medical for the broken bone he was trying to hide under penalty of not letting Robert have any of the homemade twinkies he baked if he didn't go.

(There are bets going around the dispatching bullpen on how long before they start dating, or if they already are and if its just the two of them or the whole Z team.)