#poolverine hcs

[cainroses]

Clingy Wade HCs part 3? Only if u have more ideas ;)

Hmmm I think I can maybe squeeze out a few more. . .

- Wade texts Logan A LOT. He forced Logan to get a phone pretty early on into them living together (Wade claimed it was for emergencies but it hasn't been used for that purpose a single time. Not an actual emergency anyway. Logan got into an argument with Wade about how running out of coffee creamer was /not/ a situation which required 14 texts and 8 missed calls.) He mostly sends strings of emojis he knows Logan won't understand, pictures of the pigeons that visit their porch, and selfies. Logan very rarely actually texts back, but Wade knows he looks at every single one which makes Wade feel better whenever they are apart.

- Wade likes to go grocery shopping together. Not because he likes grocery shopping (he hates all chores as a general rule) but because it allows him the chance to live out all his domestic dreams with Logan. Bickering over whether to go name brand or store brand, examining the apples to find the best ones, checking items off their grocery list that Logan insisted on actually writing out every time because they both always forgot what they actually needed, and Wade loves to sneak extra snacks into the cart when Logan isn't looking. But the best part for Wade, maybe, was watching the disbelieving stares of everyone around them who couldn't believe they were actually together. Wade loved leaning up against Logan, popping a quick kiss on his cheek before Logan could shove him away, and giving the staring middle aged moms the double bird.

- One of Wade's favorite activities is going to the movies. And not just because he loved exposing Logan to new media (it was always a blast watching Logan's face contort in confusion at the weirder ones Wade dragged him to. He was such an old man sometimes.) Logan wasn't a huge fan of PDA for the most part, something that took a while for Wade not to take to heart. It wasn't just about Wade, it was for anyone Logan interacted with. In public, he kept his affections close to his chest, let Wade get away with little things here or there, but never instigated anything. In the dark of the movie theater, however, Logan would often drape his arm along the back of Wade's chair, pull him a little closer, sometimes nod off on Wade's shoulder. It didn't take Wade very long to become a platinum level member at their local theater once he discovered this fact.

[worstpool-truther]

I think we should speculate more about how different the slang in Worst Wolverine's universe might be & Wade & Logan being really confused and arguing about it x3

Logan: This is so Jeeves

Wade: so what now?????

Logan: Jeeves, it's really Jeeves

Wade: Jeeves???????

Logan: Yeah, Jeeves, you know, it's fancy

Wade: .... jeeves ......

Pls feel free to add more in the replies x3

[worstpool-truther]

So my bf told me about a post where someone was explaining that wolverines have scent glands in their back feet that they use to scent mark things & my only thought was

Wade: Why Are You Touching Me With Your Feet???!!!

Logan: Shut up-

Wade: Your feet absolutely Reek- please stop-

Sadly this is a form of affection and Logan does not stop.

[cainroses]

So let’s say Wade and Logan are in an established relationship now. What if Wade sees someone flirt with Logan like one of the X-men. Would he be more vocal about it since Logan knows wades feelings about him now. Would Wade go up to the pair and make fun of the flirting person until they leave? What are ur thoughts? :) curious to what u think Wade would do lol

Wade is at once the most jealous person on the planet and also the most insecure person on the planet. He struggles to juggle his desire to shove in everyone's face that he and Logan are together with the intense fear that Logan is just simply looking for an excuse to get rid of him. Wade is very much convinced it is nothing short of a miracle that Logan gives him the time of day, and he's pretty sure given the option Logan would rather be with anyone else (definitely not true but Wade's inner demons are louder than Logan's affections most of the time.)

When someone flirts with Logan, especially if they are attractive and even more especially if they are an X-Men, Wade mostly tests the waters. He wants to brag and make it clear Logan is taken, but always waits for Logan to make the first move. He never assumes Logan would want people to know he is dating Wade.

He'll slide up next to Logan during a conversation where someone is clearly flirting with Logan and make his presence known, sling an arm around Logan's shoulder and sort of hang off him, something that can be dismissed by Wade's usual touchy nature by people not in the know. He'll join their conversation and take it over, making himself impossible to ignore, and tease the other person until they get embarrassed or agitated enough to walk away.

Logan just rolls his eyes at Wade's dramatics and only really gets mad at him if it's one of Logan's friends or Wade's jealousy makes him particularly catty (Wade finds it very hard to even try to pretend to be nice when people like Jean are around, since she sets his jealously off like no one else.)

[cainroses]

asshole logan headcannons?

Logan is my favorite asshole guy so I'm sure I can come up with some let's see. These are a mixture of Deadpool & Wolverine Logan and just general Logan.

- Logan doesn't do well with planning too far ahead. He's the kind of guy who likes to go in claws first and ask questions later. Wade, on the other hand, likes to do stakeouts and gather information sometimes before he goes in guns blazing. Very rarely, Logan will tolerate the rooftop stakeouts if he's got a place to sit and enough beers to last him through, but MOST of the time he'll ruin all Wade's carefully laid plans by saying 'fuck it' and running in anyway, leaving Wade behind with his binoculars and take out food to watch as Logan gets the job done as fast as possible, damn the consequences.

- Logan isn't too used to sharing spaces with other people, especially small spaces. Back with the X-Men, he had his own room so he didn't have to give a shit if it was messy or if his crap was all over the place. His room was notoriously hard to navigate and the X-Men steered clear. So living in a one bedroom apartment with both Althea and Wade, Logan often gets in arguments with them about his cigars being put out on the table or his workout clothes tossed onto the dining room table. Logan doesn't react very well to scolding and usually does the complete opposite of whatever they are getting on his case about, especially if it is Wade. He'll do almost anything to avoid having to do the dishes, including eating off paper towels and pieces of cardboard until Wade finally caves and gets elbows deep in the sink.

- If Wade tries to change the channel while Logan is watching something, Logan will stab his claws through Wade's hand to stop him from doing it. His aim isn't always great and they've been through about a dozen or so remotes since Logan first moved in.

- Logan runs really warm and if the apartment gets too hot, he can't stand Wade being all wrapped around him while their sleeping and he'll shove Wade off the bed and onto the floor to cool down since Wade can't resist being all wrapped around Logan when they are in the same bed. He can also fall asleep very quickly so he doesn't have to hear Wade's whining afterwards.

- Logan hates doing autographs and pictures. He's with the X-Men to do the right thing, not to be part of a horse and pony show. If someone comes up to him out in public asking for a picture, he'll glare them down until they scamper off. If they end up taking a picture anyway, he'll snap their phone in half and threaten to shove the broken pieces down their throats until they run away. Charles makes sure to keep him far away from the press and the cameras whenever possible and gave up on trying to give him prewritten answers a long time ago.

I could definitely do some more of these, these are sort of softball asshole moments but I know he can definitely be worse lol

[worstpool-truther]

Wade 100% has brain malfunctions sometimes where he dumps his drink into the trashcan & then stares at it sadly for 5 minutes

Logan just sighs and grabs a towel

[cainroses]

Stalker Wade head canons? Does he ever follow Logan around without him knowing? Lmfaoooo I feel like he would 🤣

Oh 110% Wade puts those mercenary skills to use by following Logan around, I mention this in my fic actually.

- There's more to mercenary work than just killing and Wade uses those skills to his full advantage to spy on Logan when he leaves the house without Wade. Not every single time, but often enough it has become something of a routine. Logan doesn't talk about himself much, even if Wade asks /really/ nicely, so Wade learns all he can perched on rooftops across the city. He's got Logan's favorite spots memorized:

A shitty pub a few blocks down from the apartment.

A 24 hour fitness center next to a convenience store that sold the brand of cigars Logan really liked.

The park where Logan liked to find a bench in an isolated area to be alone for a few hours.

The boxing gym Logan went too whenever he needed to blow off some steam.

- Wade is very careful to make sure he never gets caught, but can't resist pocketing the information he comes across and using it for later. "Wow, Wolvie, what a coincidence, I ALSO got a membership at this gym, isn't that crazy? Anyway, let me spot you." "Oh, those are your favorite? I had no idea, I just picked the ones that had the coolest looking packaging and what do you know!"

- Wade thinks he gets away with it longer than he does and only begins to suspect Logan knows when he brings home a bottle of wine he saw Logan staring at really intently the other day (he knows Logan doesn't usually drink wine but he'd been staring at it really hard, okay?) and Logan gives him the knowing raised eyebrow.

[cainroses]

Do you have any poolverine origins head canons? Wade for suuuureee wanted Logan XOXO

This is interesting, I don't think about Wolverine origins too often but I did actually like Wade in that movie before they took his mouth away lol let's see...

- Wade's little comment about being 'stuck in an elevator with five guys' was about 25% his usually quipiness that always amped up right before a job and 75% pure unadulterated flirting to Logan standing behind him. Could you really blame him? He'd decided pretty quickly to make it his own little top secret tiny mission to get Mr Grumpy Claws to crack at least one smile, maybe even just a twitch of the lips. Although he'd take the annoyance and rolling of the eyes, too, any attention from Logan was good attention as far as Wade was concerned.

- Wade took a little longer taking out the guys outside the elevator than strictly necessary but in his defense, he absolutely needed to do a couple of flips to really let Logan know how flexible he was, in case that information became necessary later. For the most part everyone else knew about his whole thing, super fighting skills and all, so the show was purely for Logan's sake.

- Wade made sure to let it slip on the plane about going to his EX girlfriend's wedding, strong emphasis on the EX part, to make sure Logan knew he was on the market. His teasing of Viktor had gotten him the exact response he'd been hoping for, more attention from Logan. Just in case sharpening his literal, and metaphorical, sword wasn't enough to do the trick.

- During prep time before the boarding the plane, Wade "accidentally" found himself in the same rooms at Logan, whistling and spinning his backup knife between his fingers (every time he stopped moving for too long he felt like he was going to explode) until Logan let out an angry grunt and wandered somewhere else. Wade was keeping track of how quickly this would happen and his current record was 2 and a half minutes.

I might have more if I watched the move again but I hope you like these!