#poor jason

[lingi-15]

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

See I'm a sucker for dick adopts Tim.

For the simple fact of I need Titans Tower to happen.

I need this exchange to occur.

Jason: You steal my colors, you steal my dad.

Tim: What the fuck are you talking about Bruce is my grandfather, and Robin belonged to my dad first!

Jason:

God himself:

Every hero in the world:

Jason: When you say Dad who exactly do you mean?

Tim: Nightwing is my Dad!!!!

Jason: I see on a unrelated note I will be moving to another earth

Dick appearing: I see you have chosen death!!!

Jason, who is now regretting every life choice that ended him here. It's one thing to fight the son of Batman. It is another to bitch about the son of Nightwing, wearing a robin costume and trying to kick his ass.

Jason is getting his shit rocked for kicking his nephews ass, and now understands why Bruce cried like a little bitch everytime Dick and Bruce fought.

[imtired-likerllytired]

Bruce: well hello tiny orphan who wants to fight crime let’s see what you got

Dick ‘literally working professional for longer than the league has been active at this point and also grew up on an assassin breading ground’ Grayson: sure random old guy!

Bruce: hmm well you’re okay we just need to give you combat training… I can trust you out on the field with around 3 weeks of training

One decade later

Bruce: well hello tiny orphan who wants to fight crime let’s see what you got

Jason ‘not from assassin training ground, also cannot backflip his way across city, not working professional HOWEVER 10/10 punch’ Todd: … sure this work?

Bruce: hmm… what about backflips

Jason: what about em? You gonna teach me em?

Bruce: … are those? Do you not come with those built in???

Jason: no????? What?? What children come built in with backflips??

Bruce:…. Hmmm

Jason: … so what’s the plan?

Bruce: I think a good 6 months of training should be enough I assume you can achieve what took my other son 5 years of literal work experience and also an assassin breeding ground to achieve will either not be necessary OR will be learned from these 6 months despite them not being my speciality

One explosion later

Tim: hello adult orphan

Bruce:… fine let’s see what you have child with parents?

Tim ‘I am literally just some guy’ Drake: uhhh okay tiny problem here

Bruce: NO BACKFLIPS AND YOU CANT THROW A PUNCH

Tim: no?

Bruce: YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST BLACK HAIRED BLUE EYED BOY WHO COULDNT DO BACKFLIPS?

Tim: I … yes he got-

Bruce: HE GOT BLOWN UP

Bruce: YOU WILL BE TESTED FROM THE BEGINNING TO WND OF YOUR TENTURE EVERY MISSION IS AN EXAM AND ORIGINAL ORPHAN

Dick: … you can just say my name you know that right?

Bruce: YOU HAVE TO TEACH THE BOY BACKFLIPPING

Dick: … wanna go trainsurfing Tim?

Tim: yeah I’m down

Bruce currently trying to calm himself down by blowing into a paper bag: this one is different he has parents it will be okay he doesn’t need the backflip preset, he stalked me and was fine I’m sure the backflip preset is not necessary yesyeysyeysyesyes

[angelwasnothere]

I need a Jason Todd who wants to breed Dick Grayson so bad it drives him mad how oblivious to this he is.

Like, sure, Dick has noticed how Jason looks at him like he wants something, to say something, to do something

And, of course, he is aware of how Jason grabs him everytime he has an opportunity in the field. He looms behind him, he makes sure to be close at all times, to yank him by the waist or hips everytime he is in danger and how Jason keeps his hands in place a little longer, not too long to let the others notice but long enough to make him squirm and feel his stomach flip everytime.

Maybe Dick does notice how Jason talks to him now, how he flirts with him in his own way, but Dick does not think so much about it because maybe Jason just wants to be friendlier, to hang out with him more, to be playful in just the way two adults can be.

So yeah, Dick is very ignorant on how Jason bangs his head on the wall with shame everytime they part ways for the night becuase no fucking way Dick is that damn naive.

"And I'm the younger here." He says feeling the pain on his forehead but with clearer thoughts. He starts to walk away, determined to pursue his objective named: Dick Grayson.

[thequeercreature]

Leo: Hi Neeks

Nico: my name is-

Percy: Hey Zombie boy

Nico: Guys stop-

Will: how's my grumpy ball of darkness

Nico:...

Jason: heya death boy

*Nico pulls out his stygian iron sword*

Nico: I didn't know you wanted to die today

[halfseaweed]

Jason: you died.

Leo: yeah but i got better??

Jason: you died, leo.

Leo: okay but hear me out—surprise?

[hannigramislife]

Dick about to give Bruce the "Joker: Last Laugh" special 👊👊👊

[idontcaboose]

Haunted car Au part 14

So, it has been a week, and it feels like when you wake up from an unplanned 30 minute nap and have to ask 'What year is it?' While feeling like you have been run over by a whole procession of clowns, clown cars, and maybe a camel for good measure. Granted, that may be from the ragweed that is pollinating like crazy, but oh well... new part!

THIS IS YOUR WARNING! SWEAR WORDS! Plenty of cursing ahead! You have been warned!

Previous. Masterpost

It had been over 24 hours since Jason saw Danny. The most troubling thing was, there were no whispers of a trafficking group in that area. He couldn't fathom what had happened to the kid. Barbara couldn't find the kid on her cameras either, so he might need to go to the cave and look at the Batmobile himself. The footage Babs pulled were just as corrupted as the ally cameras were. Maybe the kid built himself a little jamming device, wouldn't be his first strangely useful creation. Whether or not he had a jamming device, he was still missing and none of the other street kids had seen him. He knew they were probably not harboring him with the bounty for finding Danny being as lucrative as it was. Jason knew offering to cook 3 meals a day for a week would get all of his street kids looking, some adults too.

Jason was a little surprised to see Duke looking at the Batmobile's underside when he drove in. Normally only Bruce and Jason worked on the cars since they had the most hands-on experience with them. Case in point, Duke had the car up on the lift with the front doors open. Did he have to sit Duke down and go through safety in maintenance 101? Maybe he could borrow little Timmy's version “The importance of Maintenance Safety: Or why you don't let Megan write safety plans.” It would hit all the important bits and sear the information in with neon yellow and blue comic sans font.

“So, Glowstick, mind telling me why the fuck you are trying to get yourself crushed?” Jason growled at the kid, the helmet making it even more menacing.

Duke gave Jason an unimpressed look. “B got a stick up his ass and thinks I somehow was involved with the Batmobile running weirdly." Duke sneered as he continued. "Last night when Red Robin activated his emergency beacon, the lead goon got in it and ran over some of his goons. The fail safes for theft didn't activate. Somehow, it was my fault. Perks to being the closest non-injured, I guess.”

Jason was surprised at the bitterness the usually sunshine-y kid had.

“Well, good news, we can swap for a bit, and I can teach you properly how to maintain this beast.” Jason offered.

“Why are you so interested?”

“I can't be nice?”

“You are here willingly, and no, you usually are not ‘nice’. So what is it?”

Jason was not expecting such hostility from Duke, but if Bruce had his panties in a twist and took it out on Duke, he could forgive some of the bite. Couldn't hurt to get Duke in on his hunt for Danny anyway.

“I… need help. One of my guys mentioned they bet a kid, named Danny, some money to put a sticker on the Batmobile. No one has seen the kid after entering the alley where the car was parked. Oracle said the cameras were corrupted at the time the kid was there with it. Figured I would check the car for clues.”

“Oh…. Sure.”

They both looked at the undercarriage of the car in silence before Jason gave a snort.

“The kid really did put a sticker on the oil pan. That is hilarious.”

Sure enough there was a Green Arrow sticker, one where he had his arms crossed and looking smug as all hell, positioned in such a way that eluded that when the oil was drained it would look like Green Arrow was pissing.

“That is amazing, if you find the kid let me give them a high-five for that. What does he look like anyway?”

“Adoption bait, pretty much a mini me with a more ‘polite’ mouth.” Jason was sure Duke could hear his smile when talking about the kid.

“No shit? You with manners? I don't think I can imagine that from a Alley Rat.” Duke teased.

“Watch it Narrows, us Alley Rats are all a little rabid.” Jason found himself teasing back before sniffing. “Besides, Alfie would have my head if I didn't have some manners.”

They went back into a more comfortable silence while working, Jason took to looking through the center, hoping to find some sort of clue of a struggle if Danny got nabbed. Duke was focusing on the engine compartment and any wirings that he could follow. It was rather relaxing until Duke went to move some rubber piping to get a closer look at a relay.

Neither person expected the car to shudder and produce a kind of creepy giggle. Duke froze and Jason reacted by tackling him away from the car and pulling one of his guns at the Batmobile.

“What in the ever loving fuck?” Jason screamed, the Batmobile responded with its own car alarm going off.

“Don't shoot! I'm sorry, I didn't expect that to happen, we are still trying to figure things out!” Duke had jumped back up and put himself in front of Jason, waving his hands and trying to keep attention on him.

“We? What the fuck Narrows?!”

“Just, both of you, stop! Hood, gun down, Car dude, stop the alarm. Please.” Duke all but whined the last word in desperation.

Jason took a Very deep breath, and growled out in the now silent cave.

“Car. Dude?”

Next

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