#poor rolling

[we-are-a-dragon]

Andy (playing Una): I'd like to make a History check on curses.

M (playing Kjell): I'm not much good with any of the Wisdom or Intelligence skills, so I'll use my turn to assist Una. Oh, terrible roll. I'm no help at all, sorry.

DM: Una, your check is really good. Kjell tries to reference a book you've mentioned to sound smart, but actually has no idea what he's talking about.

Andy: "Sweetie, that book was about genealogy."

M: "Fuck. I'll just make some tea, then."

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM: The BBEG continues chanting his ritual. The paralysed townsfolk begin to groan in discomfort as if they're being drained in some way.

M (playing WA): I stab him in the ankle. I know D&D doesn't have targeted wounds, but I like to think it makes a difference.

DM: He fails his concentration check to continue the ritual.

M: Yes!

DM: He snarls. "Cease! You have no idea what you're interfering with!" He raises his hand and creates a blast of energy pushing everything around him back.

Lyra (playing Hesty): Everything? Does that include his allies?

DM: Yes... And amazingly, he only hits his allies.

Lyra: Amazing.

Adam (playing Harriet): I want to make a Diplomacy check. "You're right, we don't know what you're doing! So tell us!" Er, that's a 12.

DM: He laughs humourlessly.

Adam: I forgot I'm not playing Billie.

M: I'm surprised the BBEG doesn't want to monologue.

DM: Look, he's tempted, but he's not 12 Diplomacy tempted.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Hamish (playing Hunter): I chase this Faceless around the side of the hall and body slam him on the floor. He's prone.

DM: Hmm. There's not really much point in him spending his move action to get up if he'll be immobilised next turn anyway. He's going to try and drag you down with him. He misses.

Hamish: Hah.

DM: WA, the Faceless drag you off the stage again.

M (playing WA): Oh man! Can I try to escape the grab again?

DM: You succeed.

M: This is like running on a really handsy treadmill...

[we-are-a-dragon]

Adam (playing Harriet): I want to try a Nature check to try and calm the young fey panther.

DM: You talk soothingly to it and its eyes flicker to you uncertainly.

Marijn (playing Winnifred): I'd like to try offering it some of my food to show we're friends.

DM: It seems interested in the food.

Hamish (playing Hunter): I have no useful skills here. I'm going to try raising my arms to Intimidate it into running away.

Marijn: Really? It was just on the verge of liking us!

Hamish: Oh, I rolled terribly.

Marijn: *groans*

DM: The panther seemed to be relaxing a little, but at this its ears go flat and it hisses warningly.

Lyra (playing Hesty): I'm going to use my pixie ability to talk to animals and ask it why it's upset.

DM: It tells you that your party smells extremely strange and threatening. You have a harefolk, a wolf-type shifter, and a giant praying mantis.

Lyra: Oh, yeah. We must be horrifying to animals!

[we-are-a-dragon]

Andy (playing Diardi): Can I make an Insight check? Was Hinter Wildtree surprised at the mention of kidnapping?

DM: He was not surprised.

Andy: Bastard.

Adam (playing Harriet): I'd like to circle around behind him.

Andy: Me too.

DM: He says, "I think you should leave me alone."

Hamish (playing Hunter): I say, "I think you should come with us."

Lyra (playing Hesty): Can we actually detain him?

Andy: We're not the guards, we're not bound by those restrictions.

Lyra: Oh gods, that can't end well.

Marijn (playing Winnifred): I suggest, "Let's go somewhere more private and talk." Oh, I did not roll well.

DM: Hinter snaps, "I'd rather talk here, if at all."

Hamish: I put my hand on my hammer. "That wasn't a request. You're coming with us."

DM: Make an Intimidate check.

Hamish: 30!

DM: He takes a step back-

Adam: I'm behind him.

DM: -looks around wildly, and teleports away.

Lyra: Shit!

[we-are-a-dragon]

Marijn (playing Winnifred): What's the box like?

DM: It's small and made of polished wood, and it has a symbol of a crescent moon set into it.

Marijn: *growls* Harriet...

Adam (playing Harriet): Oh man. Can I do a Religion check on the box? Shit, that's a 10.

DM: You can tell it's not to do with Sehanine.

Adam: Phew.

Andy (playing Diardi): I say, "So are we going to bury the box?"

Marijn: "I'm not sure."

Lyra (playing Hesty): "Of course we're going to bury the box!"

Andy: "Why? I'm not sure I trust this Shame Violet."

Lyra: "I trust her. She seems trustworthy."

Hamish (playing Hunter): "Does she? Or is she just a pretty girl?"

Lyra: *unconvincing* "Nooo..."

Andy: "Burying something in the woods is a terrible way to get rid of it permanently. Maybe we should just destroy it."

Lyra: "No. We should help her like she asked."

DM: Hesty, your vision blacks out for a second and you have a flash of Marilee's face.

Lyra: Oh, bloody hell!

Adam: It's not just me! Hallelujah!

[we-are-a-dragon]

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): Oh my god, I haven't rolled over a 10 this session. I haven't hit a single attack.

DM: Here, use my lucky metal d20.

Hamish: Thanks! ...I rolled a 6.

Andy (playing Una): *snorts*

DM: Rip.

Hamish: My first roll next session better be a goddamn natural 20.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Marijn (playing Godric): I texted Sydney that I'd been rolling shit all night but as soon as Björn sat on my lap I rolled a natural 20 and she said "Roll the cat"