The Richmond, 144 Park Rd, Glasgow
I thought we'd set the bar high, at a bar I came to love in Glasgow. The Richmond, or as I preferred to call it The Riccccchmooooon was at the ground level of a block of tenement flats in Glasgow.
Stop by, eat some foods, drink some whisky, whatever, just GO AND HAVE A MAGICAL BATHROOM EXPERIENCE.
Its a long and winding road towards the bathroom, you go through a door and take twisting turns down a staircase until you reach the underbelly of the building. The basement housed not only the extensive bathrooms but the kitchens too. A glass panel in the door lets you know their aren't rats hanging from the rafters. Always a plus where food preparation is concerned.
Check this, not ONLY is there enough space to shut the goddamn cubicle door without your clothes brushing the toilet seat (you know what I'm talking about, no ones legs are that thin) - but it's a whole self contained unit. Look there at the right, that's a basin. You can take care of all your bidness in the privacy of a spacious, cubicle, with ambient lighting and pleasant toilet paper. Props, Richmond. Props.
Look at that there sink. It's a nice ass sink. It doesn't have remnants of other peoples mistakes in it. It gleams with promises of clear water and soap and maybe even soap bubbles if you are so inclined. Some bars I've been to are so dodgy that you expect the sink to be a bucket - not here, this place would spit on those bathrooms, if it weren't for the fact that this place is too classy for that.
Want some classy proof? Next to the boutique liquid hand soap, is some boutique moisturizer. YEAH. Check that for classy credentials.
But where is the mirror you say? Oh they got you covered. The door, which in this cubicle is not facing the loo, is full length - in cubicles where the mirror WAS facing the loo, the lower half was artfully fogged because the owner knows no one wants that view. Dear lordy lord no one wants that. And then, when my delighted connoisseur of toilets heart could get no fuller, they hit me with the sturdiest of hooks I've ever seen.
You know when you're wearing a big ass coat, or you just don't want to put your bag on that nasty ass floor? You look around and discover they DID have the foresight to put a hook up, but not the concern for your ongoing patronage to make sure it still has it prongs.
And one last thing to blow your mind. Your own hand dryer. You don't have to wait in line, you don't have to feel guilty that you're keeping others waiting. Take your time. Enjoy the finery of this cubicle.
Now, I understand that my enthusiasm for bathrooms may leave you cold, or maybe you just felt tldr - fair enough. I'm hoping though that my enthusiasm leaves you wondering if maybe you deserve more out of your hospitality experiences? You do. You totally do.
Great food? That's swell. Interesting cocktails? Yum, I'll bring my friends back. But a bathroom experience like the one above? I am coming back whenever I have the chance - because they showed they cared about every little detail.
And that makes all the difference.