Consciously is how it is done 😊
Happy Sunday! ☺️ This is the third post in a series of blogs on self talk.
I want to begin by asking: Did you observe even a tiny change in the way you talk to yourself now that you are a little bit more aware of your self talk style? If yes, that’s wonderful! If no, then it’s okay 🙂 Change will happen, you just need to put in a little bit more effort in the form of being more aware.
Do not tell yourself or allow others to say that this is impossible or pointless or a wastage of time. We humans have somethiing that no other species have: evolved brain structures that allow us to think, plan, coordinate, speak and execute plans. If we do not stop and think about our own thoughts and actions, then what are we really doing? We are wasting the resources evolution gave us. So why not use what we have? (It’s not like we have to pay a fee 😛)
Coming back to self talk, I hope that by now you know whether you engage in positive self talk or negative self talk or lie somewhere in the middle. This was our first experiment : Observing our self talk patterns. Were you able to do it? Were you able to figure out your pattern? What are the topic(s) that make you doubt your self and your capabilities? What are the topic(s) that make you feel proud and good about yourself? Yes, we not only need to know our weaknesses, but also our strengths. And please trust me when I say that we all have strengths and weaknesses and that no one is perfect!
After this, as a part of our second experiment, we had to consciously change any negative or seemingly negative self talk by substituting it with a positive statement(s). It may seem silly or hard or next to impossible to find the inner strength to correct yourself everytime, but it will be worth it! There is so much strength inside of you, it’s like a magic box that you just have to open bit by bit, feel it and then use to your advantage. In case you find substituting to be difficult, then let’s add a step before it. Everytime you are about to say something that is negative about you, demeans you, or shows you to be weak or unworthy, shout 'STOP' in your mind. Consciously stop yourself from saying it and imagine any event in your life that makes you smile.
For Example: After I refused my friend for an outing, she replied, “Nobody loves or listens to me!” This was spoken out loud. I am sure that for the next 15 minutes that she was quiet, knowing her, she was having a negative internal dialogue!
This is an example of one situation where you need to stop yourself from saying such things out loud because a) they are negative; b) they tell a lot about you, none of which is positive and c) this is how patterns are formed so that everytime something like this happens, you’ll say such statements like a parrot, i.e. without understanding their actual meaning or long term implications! Here you also need to kick shut that internal dialogue by thinking about anything that makes or made you smile, chocolate? a text? a movie? an actor? a picture? Those positive sentences I told you about in the previous post? Basically anything! This is only possible when you are aware.
Saying ‘Thank you!’ our third experiment. What is the status on that? Are you saying and feeling it, even for anything small another person did for you? How does expressing gratitude feel? Once you get into the habit, it will feel liberating. Yes, liberating. That about sums it up 😉 I promise we’ll reach to that point where words will have value. But for now, forget about others and focus on the value of your own words. How reliable are they?
Let’s do this folks!! Let’s work together and help each other realise the tremendous potential that we all have. Let's discover!
I hope you smiled today 😊
If you want to, let me know how your journey is going. I hope it is full of amazing discoveries! Smile📸📸
