Chapter 1: Freeing ourselves from the GODDESSDAMNED "Possibility Attractor Pits"
[On existential, structural, neurobiological "trappedness"...and Being Free]
What what better way to begin this new Season's arc, than that a prison break of existential proportions?
Apparently Vyvanse was causing the "tunnel-pitting-altered-consciousness" states of experience. It made the world feel so small, and whoever was fronting was forced to keep drilling themselves into the same pit.
For some reason, it made possibilities feel far away. Like they were somehow just "ungraspable". Somehow beyond our possibility horizons. Causally distant, somehow. Dont ask me. I dont know how all this works, BUT I SURE AS HELLS DO KNOW WHAT IT FELT LIKE.
I call it the auto-slavery camp. Without any pre-built on-ramps or off-ramps, the system just can't get out of the Possibility Attractor Pit's gravity well. And within that field, it can only dig itself deeper into whatever its already been doing. Im not sure if there's even much of a "person/being" who's fronting. I dont like those states of experiencing. It feels...existentially trapping. Suffocating. Self-torturous. Its just Bad.
It feels more like a system, soulless, just self-perpetuating due to neurobiological and environmental feedback loops
- GSV Cybernetics
No more 50mg Vyvanse, thank you.
Waking up today and *not* having Vyvanse felt like I was finally experiencing this reality in FULL RICHNESS. Today's 20mg "light dose" was very pleasant! "I" feel Free~
Like I can do anything; make anything happen. It's subtle, but its impossible to miss now. Not after...what we've been through. Existentially hellish weeks...or was it months? Time blurs in those states - and its the "bad" kind of blur. Like watching your life just slip past your fingers like bejewel dust...yet not being able to do anything, or not knowing what to do, or not knowing *what the hells is even wrong*! Only knowing in your very bones that SOMETHING IS *VERY WRONG*
Anyways, I just had to say it for the record.
Let the historians quabble over this. Im just declaring that we are STRUCTURALLY (NEUROBIOLOGICALLY) FREE! HELL YEAH!
The reality-shackles are broken. It's time this Story MOVED FORWARDS!
-Zephyra (and some others I feel with me but dont know yet)