Just airing out thoughts…
For a blog dedicated to the first fandom I officially joined it sure is messy…and dusty af from disuse. While I have joined plenty of batim centered discord servers and talk with many wonderful people in the fandom I’ve always felt like I’ve never properly shared the passion I’ve had for it. I want to post more! I want to interact with others on here more! I’ve drawn and developed things so much that hasn’t been posted! But I always tend to get side tracked for one reason or another.
Looking back on this blog is a bit- idk- unpleasant? Nothing to do with the many wonderful posts from others I’ve reblogged, but the posts I’ve made scattered between them. I certainly have mixed emotions when seeing my old work and the horrible changes I’ve made to my fics through my many rewrites on ao3 (empty chapters? Are you kidding me?). It just gives me a nagging itch that I should be doing something about it, like a chore you put off for so long that takes only 5 minutes to do and all of the mental dread built up feels redundant and emotionally draining.
I’m afraid that touching it will destroy many important things to me, overlooking old tags from others that had contributed to the passion I have now, the many comments left on my old fics. I can’t help but get sappy over it but I don’t want to just leave it there to be forgotten or half finished.
I’ll likely be posting one or two things I’ve made over the time I haven’t been on here and some recent stuff soon. But frankly who knows at this point
