season 4 | post unruhe | words: 653 | click the title for the ao3 link |
I don’t really know what this is but I hope you enjoy it regardless.
@today-in-fic @mypanicface
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Howlers
He shows up with no invitation. He shows up without a call in advance. He shows up because he was unable to get her screams out of his head.
Mulder had barely seen her since the RV. He helped her up, watched her take her statement, then off she drove away. Multiple hours had passed since then and Mulder had been unable to rid her from his mind.
Her screams had been the scariest part. Never in their three years of working together had he ever heard her scream his name like that. On one hand, he’s grateful she trusts him so. On the other, he hopes he never has to hear them again.
The memory of Schnauz leaning over her, the ice-pick poised ready in his hand, is one that Mulder doesn’t think will leave him for a while.
He knocks three times against the door and it takes a while for her to answer. She’s asleep, he tells himself. He should’ve called first, checked she even wanted company.
But the door opens and a small red-head in a giant robe appears. Devoid of makeup, her freckles out to play, soft in her appearance. Her hair is curly and Mulder is stunned.
“Hi,” she says quietly.
“Hey,” Mulder says when his speech returns to him. He shuffles about in the hallway, becoming increasing aware of the hour. “I- I just wanted to see you. To know you were okay and…” He trails off, unsure what else to say.
Scully smiles. “Do you want to come in?” She opens the door a little wider as invitation.
“Thanks,” Mulder says. He makes a beeline for the couch, feeling like a bumbling idiot, awkward and unsure what to do with himself.
He hadn’t had much plan when he decided to come over, it was just a must, a need to check on her.
She joins him at the other end of the couch, perched on the edge, her arms wrapped around herself.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
She shakes her head. “Quite the opposite.” With a shrug she says, “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Me neither,” he says quietly. It seems the memory of Schnauz will not leave them both.
“I keep thinking…” she says slowly and Mulder turns his head to listen. She isn’t looking at him, her eyes are fixed on something on the floor. “Why is it always me?”
Mulder looks away, his own eyes fixating on something on the floor. “I think in this case it could’ve been either of us.”
She shakes her head. “No,” she says gently and it causes him to look at her again. “He killed the men, Mulder. It was the women he was after. They had the Howlers. I had the Howlers. It was always meant to be me.”
Mulder thinks about what Howlers really are. Issues in one’s life. Issues that could ruin one’s life.
He glances a look at Scully out of the corners of his eyes. Asking slowly and quietly, “Do you have Howlers, Scully?”
She hugs herself a little tighter. “I told Schnauz no but…” With a deep exhale she shrugs. “I guess maybe I do. I guess we all do.”
Mulder looks down at his fingers and frowns. Her screams echo in his head, scared and terrified. It was the closest he’d ever been to reaching her, he realises. A door was in the way. He wants to be even closer next time, he wants to prevent this completely.
“I’m a shitty partner, Scully.”
Scully frowns, confused, ready to protest.
“I need to watch out for you more.”
“I can look after myself out there, Mulder.”
He smiles. “I know you can. I just…” His words fall to the ground around them.
She gets up from her position on the couch and moves closer to him, sitting completely next to him, her knee bumps his. “I know,” she agrees. “I know.”
