“You’re a hazard to society.” “It’s just a bruise!” + Fitzdaisy 💜
one day I’ll be able to fill a prompt without world building for a thousand words. that day is not today.
1. You’re a hazard to society.
11. It’s just a bruise.
The plan for the day had just been to work, to sit in the lab and get things done while he had a little bit of peace and quiet. The base was busy, it almost always was now that they were recruiting again and trying to strengthen their ranks, but the lab was quiet. Jemma had been assigned to one of the recruitment teams, out on a mission to give motivational speeches and talk to people about how much they could do for the world, which left Fitz alone with his thoughts and his projects.
After the Framework and everything that had happened, they’d taken a step back. There was too much to navigate - their hurt, the new trauma, the old trauma, the truth - and trying to keep up with going through the motions of a relationship was only exhausting them further. For months, they'd been together but apart, falling back into friendship as easily as breathing. They would finish each other's sentences in the lab, make tea for each other the way they always had, sit next to each other at meals or on movie nights, and then they would go back to their own bunks for bed.
Truthfully, it was the only thing that had made things feel right in years, and Fitz had no idea how he was supposed to tell her that. They'd spent so long dancing around each other, and then diving in head first, only for him to realize that the best thing they'd had was before they'd made any changes at all.
[ read below or on ao3 ]
And maybe he was focusing on his anxiety around that instead of actually working, which seemed like a waste of quiet lab time. At some point, he would have to tell Jemma that he didn't want to try again for something romantic, that what they had in their first attempt was good but not great. There had been nothing wrong, not really, they had just... not quite fit, that way. He'd been happy, but not as happy as he used to be, and he'd brushed it off as another symptom of his then undiagnosed depression, but things had changed. They'd done their experiment, and he'd been talking to the therapist that SHIELD hired on, and he'd learned a lot about himself over the course of a few sessions.
He was happier just being friends, and that was okay. He just didn't know how she would feel about it.
( "it's normal to worry about how other people feel, Leo, it's a sign of compassion and empathy."
"I'm sensing a but coming..."
"but it's not wrong to consider your own feelings. decisions you make affect you before they affect anyone else, and it's okay to put your own wants and feelings first, sometimes."
talking to Robin once a month since she arrived was helping more than he liked to acknowledge. reflecting on how much she helped meant he couldn't ignore how much had happened anymore, he had to face the fact that he'd needed help, and a part of him still hated that. the part of him that still sounded suspiciously like the doctor hated that he couldn't handle this on his own, that something as silly as emotions was so hard to manage. then again, that sentiment hadn't only come to mind after the framework. it was something that Alistair had put there, years ago, when he was still so impressionable and his mind was still trying to understand right and wrong. )
Fitz shook his head and made himself try to focus again, sorting through files and blueprints and scattered pencils over his workspace. He didn't have to worry about whatever conversations would happen in days or a week, at the very least not until Jemma was actually back on base. Until then, he could settle in, work on what still needed to be reviewed and finalized, go to his session, and appreciate the routine his life had settled into. While the rest of the team had continued field work and missions, he'd been able to step back from that, too, and spend all of his time creating, again.
Something about the weight of a gun in his hand still showed up in his nightmares, and in his memories. It was better to avoid his triggers than to try to push through his discomfort. That was something he learned from Robin.
When the door slid open, he lifted his head to look toward the sound. It had become a habit, reacting quickly to environmental changes, being always aware of what was going on around him. Maybe that was why he liked working in the quiet, so much - fewer things to make him anxious, fewer changes to keep track of, just his work and his thoughts. But, in this instance, the person who had activated the sliding door was someone who didn't make him anxious, and quite possibly the only person he considered to be as close of a friend as Jemma was.
"There he is!"
Fitz smiled when Daisy walked across the tile and hopped up to sit on the lab bench in front of him. If he'd actually been doing anything, he would have scolded her or told her to get down, but it just wasn't the day for productivity. Days off were okay, sometimes, too, and he had to remind himself of that. So, he gave up on trying to work entirely, stepping around the table to stand directly in front of her while he shook his head. "When did your team get back? How did the mission go?"
She all but grinned down at him, perfectly at ease with the dwindling space between them. That hadn't been the case, before, right after the incident with the Framework, when everyone had seen what he was capable of doing, but the entire team had forgiven him, and he was on his way to being able to forgive himself, too.
"It was fine. Almost boring, actually. I get it, we're making the world safer, but I almost miss having something interesting to do. At least things didn't feel so repetitive when we were saving the world every year, you know?"
With a softer smile, Fitz shook his head and reached for her hand, his fingers gentle as soon as they found skin. Maybe, if he was especially careful, he could make up for all of the times his hands weren't gentle, when they took lives and caused hurt, and the people he trusted the most were where he started. Slowly, he lifted their hands so that they could both see the color on her knuckles, a familiar sight with their line of work, but still not something he particularly enjoyed seeing. "This doesn't look boring."
Daisy rolled her eyes but didn't pull her hand away, letting his thumb brush over the bruised knuckles without complaint. "Oh, please, Fitz, I get those daily, at this point. I've survived a lot worse than a fist fight."
He sighed and gave her fingers a squeeze where she wasn't injured, his eyes still fixed on the mark he'd found. "You're a hazard to society..."
"It's just a bruise!"
Quiet fell between them and Fitz shook his head again, slower, before gently pulling her hand closer. He pressed a featherlight kiss to her bruised skin, and when he pulled his lips back, she left her hand where it was. They'd been close plenty of times, even closer and more in each other's space than they were just then, but it had never felt like that. It never felt like electricity, like any contact had left him feeling buzzed, like some ghost of her powers had taken root inside him and left him tingling.
When he let himself pull back enough to actually look up at her, he couldn't read the look in her eyes, and he had to push his nerves down. It wasn't abnormal for him to be physically affectionate, not anymore, and it wasn't like he was the same kid who had joined the team in the first place who didn't know what he was doing, who didn't know what a big family could feel like. It wasn't even the first time the two of them had done something so physically affectionate.
This was far from the first time lips had touched skin, they regularly hugged, they settled in close during scary movies, she'd even let him fall asleep in her bunk the night they stayed up late and he told her the truth he'd been in denial about.
( she was the only one he told besides Robin, the only person who could possibly understand the intricate complications of having a mad scientist enemy of SHIELD as an estranged parent. when he thought about it, they were a lot alike, and maybe that extended to their families, too, or it had been the other way around.
if Cal Johnson and Holden Radcliffe were so similar, it was some twist of fate that their children became best friends, something that could have led to the end of the known universe. luckily, they didn't inherit their fathers' affinity for chaos, or at least they only inherited a diluted version, the kind that didn't manifest into the usage of magic books or superhuman serums. but they would never have known that if it weren't for the men's similarities, and the most important thing they had in common:
the desperate, impossible lengths they went to in the name of protecting their children )
When he felt the gentle squeeze to his fingers meant to get his attention, Fitz took a slow breath and stepped back to give her the space to get down from the table. Boots hit title with a familiar sound, something that he knew well enough that it actually helped him relax, and it took everything he had to not let his shoulders visibly sag. It was a silly worry, overthinking about a simple action, anxious that it could possibly change the bond they'd formed that night in her bunk.
"I have to go debrief, but you normally meet us in the hangar when we land, and you didn't, today." Daisy was still in his space, their fingers slowly intertwining as if she didn't have anywhere in the world to be but right there by his side. "I was worried something happened. How are you doing? We're coming up on the Framework-iversary, aren't we?"
Fitz had to stop, then, and think about the date, do the math. If it really had been a whole year since he'd been pushed out of a nightmare, that was too much to think about. At the same time, he was certain that more than a year had passed. Too many things had changed for anything less, surely. He'd changed too much, and everyone else had changed alongside him, and if all of that could happen in just a year...
"I, uh... I forgot about that, actually. Yeah, this week."
She pulled her hand away only to close more of the space between them, tugging him into a tight hug that he didn't know he needed. It felt even better than the tingling that was starting to fade from his lips, filling him with warmth from the inside out. Because he'd made the right choice, telling her first, letting her in on the secret that had now been a part of his life for a year that didn't feel entirely real. When she spoke, it was just as gentle and careful as his fingers resting on her back, keeping the space between them at a minimum so he could savor the feeling, her words even more soothing than the physical contact. "If the anniversary comes up and you need anything at all, you know where to find me. I'm going to be taking a trip next week, anyway, so unless the world really does start ending again, I won't be doing any field work."
Hesitating for a moment, he made himself pull back enough to look down at her, confusion plain in his expression. "A trip? Where are you going? You're not going alone, are you?"
Her laughter at his concern did ease it, somewhat, and she shook her head while staying settled in his arms. "Well, while your mad scientist is, unfortunately, deceased, mine is a veterinarian. I like to check in, sometimes, even if I can't talk to him. If you're really worried about it, you haven't had any real time off in the last year. I'm sure Coulson won't mind if you take a weekend to come with me."
Fitz bit the inside of his lip, giving a small shake of his head while he thought it over. Really, it wasn't a difficult decision, and some time off did sound really nice. He supposed he deserved a little bit of a vacation as much as anyone else did. "Yeah, I'll come. You make sure I'm not alone in all of my dad stuff, and I'll make sure you're not alone in yours."
Standing up on her toes, Daisy kissed his cheek, stirring up that buzz all over again even when she properly pulled back. "Perfect. I'll let Coulson know after the debrief. But, on my way to find you, I did run into Robin, and she was looking for you, too. Did you have something scheduled for today?"
"I do, but not until..." He trailed off, glancing down at his watch to check the time with a small frown. When he actually saw the numbers there, he sighed and moved to follow her toward the doors. "Half an hour ago. Fuck."
When they got out to the hallway, they had to go in opposite directions, her to the left, where the training rooms and the Director's office was located, and him to the right, toward the bunks and Robin's makeshift office. But her laughter was so bright and teasing, and when he echoed off the brick walls, it made him feel warm.
hi I love agents of shield and if you don’t you’re lying anyway so you know that scene end of season four Fitz comes out of the framework and Coulson is like “it’s okay, you’re back, everybody’s safe” and then “don’t blame yourself.”? Yeah, that’s one of my favorite scenes in the whole of agents of shield cause like there's such a father/son dynamic between them that I feel gets ignored because of the whole Daisy and Coulson father/daughter dynamic, which don't get me wrong I love and it's a very important part of the show but especially in seasons 4/5 Fitz and Coulson have had such a nice father/son dynamic and for me this is one of the scenes that really solidifies it. idk I love it
Here’s day five of my week-long blog anniversary celebration! The prompt was left pretty open to interpretation, so since I’ve only been able to think about current canon, I set it after all of the Framework nonsense. Thank you for the prompt anon, and I hope this is close to what you were looking for!
Set post Season 4 (with some spoilers for 4x21), and inwhich Fitzsimmons still can’t communicate to save their lives, but they’re willingto learn how to.
-
Jemma Simmons had never considered herself a jealous person.In fact, she’d always been comfortable and sure of who she was and what shehad, so there’d never even been room for jealousy in her life. But, as she’dbegun to learn over the past couple of years, when it came to the most preciousthing her life, all limits or reasoning seemed to all-but disappear.
And this was especially obvious as Jemma peered through thewindow into the newly repaired lab, watching as Fitz chatted with Dr. EliseEvans, shoulders shaking as they shared a joke and a private smile.
She actually really likedthe specially-trained psychologist Coulson had brought in after the Frameworkto help those with two lives living inside of their heads (and those who hadbeen horrified witnesses to it all), thought she was kind and insightful and afantastic listener. But, the problem was, she was also beautiful, with biggreen eyes and flowing auburn hair and also in possession of an apparent likingfor Jemma’s boyfriend.
Jemma’s hands tightened their grip around her half-empty cupof tea as she stewed over how unprofessionalthis all was, though the sickening twist of her stomach and the bitter taste ofanger on her tongue told her that her reaction actually had very little to dowith professionalism.
In the lab, Fitz had put down one of the damaged ICERs he’dbeen working on (at first, he’d all-but refused to touch any of his projects,too afraid of creating something else terrible like the Framework, like AIDA, but Dr. Evans had worked with andgotten him to start small and take baby steps – and god, how could Jemma dislike the woman that was helping Fitz somuch?). Now, instead, he was facing Dr. Evans, his full focus on theirconversation, and all she could hear were alarm bells ringing in her headbecause they were too close.
Now, there wasn’t a single part of Jemma that ever thoughtFitz would cheat on her – he just wasn’t that kind of person, and she wasconfident that he would never hurt her in that way. But there was a part of her, a tiny littleinsecurity that had been born inside of her when a Fitz that wasn’t truly Fitzhad said those truly awful words toher, had told her they meant nothing to each other and that the woman he lovedwasn’t her.
She still remembered with absolute clarity witnessing theconversation Fitz had with AIDA after their escape from the Framework,remembered hearing him confess to having only room for one person in his heartand that person was her, but thoughthey’d begun to work through his fears of being unworthy and mend theirrelationship, he’d still never said those words to her. It left that insecurity open and vulnerable to grow freely asshe watched the closeness between Fitz and another woman, a woman he actuallyseemed able to open up to and behonest with, unlike her.
And perhaps that was what had the sickening jealousybubbling up in the pit of her stomach the most – why couldn’t he speak to her like that? Why did he continue tohide from her, to shy away from sharing his thoughts and feelings with her? Didhe believe they weren’t safe with her? Could he give her his heart, but nottrust her with his most intimate thoughts?
“Glare any harder and you’ll burn them to a crisp.”
Startled at the sudden voice, Jemma whirled around, nearlyspilling her tea in her haste. She found Daisy eyeing her in both amusement anddisbelief. “Oh. Hello Daisy, how are you?”
Daisy chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest and leaninga shoulder against the wall beside Jemma. “Give it up, Simmons, I know exactlywhat you were doing. Even though, for the record, I think it’s completely unnecessary.”
Jemma scoffed, throwing another quick glance into the lab,where Fitz and Elise were now sitting on the edge of his desk, side-by-side andpractically shoulder-to-shoulder. “Oh? You think so? You have eyes, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do, and they’ve seen the most epic, unbelievabledisplay of true love unfold over the past four years. And I can sure as helltell you that she wasn’t involved.”She thumbed toward Dr. Evans, who had a hand resting on Fitz’s shoulder. “What’sgot you so worked up about this anyway? Like, how do you know that she isn’tjust giving him extra therapy? Because he sure as hell needs it.”
“Daisy.” Jemmashook her head, smiling humorlessly. “Come on.You’re seeing the same thing as I am, and you’ve likely seen them spendingalmost every day for the past couple of weeks together. In fact, I’ve barely seen him, and you must knowthat isn’t the greatest of signs.”
Daisy didn’t look convinced. “Yeah, well, what does Fitzhave to say about it?”
“Oh, quite a bit, actually. She’s all he ever seems to talkabout these days. ‘Elise said this’,or ‘Elise and I did that’, or ‘Elise is so much more understanding thatyou Jemma’.”
“Okay, I’m not sure anyonewould believe he’s ever actually said that last one.”
“Well, he might as well have.” Jemma sighed, tearing hergaze away from the sight in the lab to smile sadly at Daisy. “I like to believethat Fitz and I are stronger, better together than we are apart, but…what if heno longer does? He’s been through so much, and…and maybe I’m not what he needsanymore.”
“Oh come on.”Daisy leveled an incredulous look at her. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve seen how Fitz looks at you, okay? For years. And all I’ve ever seen is his unquestionable love for you.There are zero doubts in my mind that Fitz is one hundred percent devoted toyou. Some flirty little redhead with a psychology degree isn’t going to changethat, Jemma.”
“Well, alright, perhaps not, but –”
“No buts,” Daisy interrupted, shaking her head. “If you guyswould just talk to each other, you’drealize how ridiculous you’re being right now.”
Jemma wasn’t sure she believed that, not with the doubtsswimming around in her head and the unfamiliar and sour taste of jealousy atthe back of her throat. “It’s not that easy, Daisy,” she admitted softly.
“Yeah, it is,” Daisy disagreed.
-
“She’ll barely look at me half the time,” Fitz confessed,releasing a sigh and blinking back tears as he fiddled absently with the brokenICER in his hands. “I’m afraid… I mean, I thought we’d worked through all ofthe stuff that happened in the Framework, that she didn’t hold anything I didin there against me, even though she should–”
“Hey,” Elise cut in quickly, “no. What have we talked about?”
Fitz made a face, scowling down at his hands, but after amoment he dutifully answered, “None of the choices I made in there wereactually mine, I wasn’t in controland therefore can’t be held accountable.”
“Exactly,” she praised, reaching out to give his forearm abrief squeeze. “Fitz, I can’t tell you what Jemma’s thinking, but…you know, you’dbe able to solve a lot more of these problems if you actually talked to her.” She nudged him playfullyin the ribs with her elbow. “She isyour girlfriend, not to mention your best friend, after all.”
“I know,” Fitzsighed, setting down the ICER and turning so that he could perch on the edge ofhis desk, shoulders sagging in defeat. “It’s just never been our…strong suit, Iguess. It was always so effortless when science was all we ever had to worryabout, because we were always just on the same page. It’s like…I could trusther to know what I was thinking, sometimes even before I thought it myself. Butwith emotions and all that other important stuff? S’like we’re speaking twodifferent languages.”
“So, what, you just never discussed emotions with her?” sheasked disbelievingly.
“No.” He crossedhis arms over his chest, making a face. “I mean, we were actually always reallyopen with what was bothering us and I know how to read her emotions better thananything, and she can always tell when I’m about to break down, but…but it wasnever about us, about our friendshipor the way we felt about each other.” He smiled humorlessly as he remarked, “Probablywhy it took me so damn long to figure out I was bloody well in love with her,actually. I just…never really gave much thought to how I felt about Jemma. Shewas my best friend, and I just always expected her to be in my life and neveraccepted an alternative to that.”
Elise perched on the desk beside him, smiling gently. “Andit was only once you were forced to that you realized what you felt was actuallylove?” When Fitz nodded sadly, she reached out to rest a hand on his shoulder. “Fitz,why don’t you just tell her all ofthis? You were able to talk about it easily enough with me.”
Fitz rolled his eyes up toward the ceiling, sighing soheavily that his shoulders rose and fell with it. “Yeah, well, ‘cause you’renot Jemma. When I’m speaking with her, especially now, especially after what’shappened, I’m always afraid that whatever comes out of my mouth next mightfinally be the thing that pushes her away, the thing that finally has hercoming to her senses and heading for the hills.”
Elise laughed warmly, giving his shoulder a supportivesqueeze. “Oh Fitz, it’s my job to observe and understand human behavior, and letme tell you, even if I hadn’t had sessions with Jemma, I’d know she was completelyin love with you. I doubt anything you say could ever get her to stop lovingyou, because it’s just not that simple.”
Looking hopeful for the first time in awhile, Fitz loweredhis eyes to meet her gaze with a cautious smile. “You really think so?”
“I do,” Elise answered gently, “but I think you still needto hear it from her.”
-
That night, Jemma waited up for him in their bunk, sittingon the end of their bed and trying to convince herself that she wasn’t about tolose the person she loved more than anything else in the world. But, she remindedherself, she would also give up her world forhim, however that looked – even if it meant letting him go to be happierelsewhere.
When he finally entered the bunk and Jemma glanced up at thesound of the door opening, she could see his obvious surprise that she wasstill up. Then, the surprise turned to relief (and nervousness?) as he closedthe door behind him. “Hey, good, you’re still awake. I…um…I wanted to talk.”
Jemma felt a wave of nausea rush through her, and shewondered wildly if he’d come to tell her that he’d fallen out of love with her.Would she ever be able to stomach seeing him with someone else? Would she everbe able to rid herself of the aching, burning jealousy inside of her every time she laid eyes on them together,knowing that she wasn’t enough for him?
“I did too, actually,” she admitted, taking a deep breath asher hands wrung together in her lap. He opened his mouth to speak, but thesudden thought occurred to her that she wasn’t sure she’d even be able to hearhim say the words, so she hurried to get them out first to try and save herselfat least some heartache. “Fitz, I know,okay? And we can’t keep going on like this, because it’s turning me intosomeone I’m not. I’m tired of feeling like this, it’s making me sick.”
Fitz sucked in a shaky breath, nodding slowly, though hisrapid blinks told her that there were tears building in his eyes. “Uh…okay,yeah…what…um, what do you think we should do about it, then?”
The words brought her back to a time when their future hadbeen laid out before them, a beautiful unanswered question that she’d so lookedforward to answering. She never could’ve imagined it’d go this horribly, not in a million years (though a part of her couldn’thelp but remember what she’d beenputting him through at the time, and perhaps this was her payback for hurtinghim in such a way). “Isn’t it obvious? Fitz, we can’t keep this charade up ifone of us isn’t happy.”
He swallowed visibly, closing his eyes tightly and inhalingsharply. His curled his hands into trembling fists as he nodded rapidly. Jemmafelt a lick of confusion at his extreme reaction, but before she could questionhim about it, he asked a bit desperately, “I just…I need to know what…what didI do? So I don’t spend the rest of my life torturing myself over every littlemistake I’ve made, what was it that finally did me in?”
Jemma frowned deeply. Was he pretending he didn’t know whatshe was talking about, or…? “Fitz…I’m talking about you and…and Dr. Evans.”
At first, there was no visible reaction to the words. But,then his eyes popped open and he stared at her in bewilderment. “Me and Elise? What does she have to do withthis? Is it because I talk to her about us? Because…I mean, she’s my friend anda psychologist so…so I thought that was okay, but…”
She stared blankly at him a moment, then asked plainly, “Fitz,aren’t you in love with her?”
“What?” Jemma wasn’tsure she’d ever seen Fitz more caught off-guard than he was in that moment. “Inlove with…Elise? Are you… Wait, is that why you’ve been so upset with melately? Because you thought…”
“You’re telling me you aren’t?”Jemma wasn’t sure what to feel, equally confused and hopeful and scared.
“Of course not!How could you even…?”
Jemma threw her hands up as she cried, “I don’t know! I just always saw you together,smiling and laughing, and you opened up to her and spent so much time with herand…”
“You were jealous,”Fitz breathed, his eyes wide as it finally occurred to him. When Jemma made aface and shrugged, he let out a quiet chuckle. “It’s…I mean, I never want tomake you feel badly, about anything,and I’m so sorry that I have, but…” A disbelieving smile tugged at his lips. “Ijust can’t believe Jemma Simmons was jealousof some girl being friends with me.”
Jemma groaned, burying her face in her hands. “You’re notmaking me feel better, Fitz,” she told him pointedly, the words slightlymuffled.
“Sorry, sorry. I just don’t understand how you could think…”Then, he trailed off, releasing a heavy sigh and planting his hands on hiswaist. “Or maybe I do. I guess I haven’t done the best I could to remind youhow much you mean to me and that you’re…you’re the only person that could evermake me happy, y’know? I just…I couldn’t even begin to imagine loving anyonebut you. You’re…you’re everything I need, everything I don’t deserve, and just…everything. There’s no one for me butyou. Never has been.” He went quiet for a moment, then asked softly, “How couldyou doubt that? Have I not shown you how much you mean to me?”
“You have,” Jemmaassured him quickly, lifting her head from her hands and standing to approach him,“Oh Fitz, of course you have. I don’t know what’s come over me recently but… Isuppose I’m just so terrified of losing you. I never would have imagined itcould ever be to another woman before, but…”
“None of that was real,” Fitz reminded her firmly, a truththat had been drilled into each and every one of those who had been heldhostage in the Framework. “None of what I felt for her was real. What I feelfor you, however, is the most realthing in my life. When I have nothing else, I have that.” Removing his handsfrom his hips, he grasped hers and laced their fingers together. “Jemma, tellme what I need to do to convince you that you’re all I’ll ever want.”
“You already have,” she admitted, smiling a bitembarrassedly as she squeezed his fingers between hers. “I overreacted, I can seethat quite clearly now. But, it doesbring up something important; we needto be able to talk to each other, Fitz. Misunderstandings like this can beavoided completely if we just allowed ourselves to be more open with eachother.”
“Oh, trust me, I know. I’m…I’m working on it, okay?” Fitz’slips quirked up in a little smile. “I think we both are. And in the spirit ofthat, let me be open and tell you that you, Jemma Simmons, are the only womanin any universe, in any reality, that I will ever chose to be with, chose togive my heart to. S’been yours for over a decade, anyway.”
Jemma bit her bottom lip, but it did little to hold back theblindingly bright grin that appeared on her face. Using her grip on his hands,she tugged him closer until she could press her lips to his. “Good,” shemurmured, “because I hate feelingjealous.”
“I dunno, green did look pretty good on you,” he couldn’thelp but tease. When Jemma leaned back to allow him to see her narrowed eyes,Fitz was quick to go on, “Right, never mind. Forget I said anything and let’sjust go back to the kissing.”
And because she loved him dearly and was so utterly relievedto find that all of this had just been a silly overreaction, Jemma let it slideand pulled him back in with a warm smile.
Oh, she truly had been kidding herself, thinking she couldgive this wonderful man up, hadn’t she? Well, lucky for her, he was exactlywhere he wanted to be, where he’d alwayswant to be.
‘Cause no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop writing post-Framework Fitzsimmons scenes
I’m just gonna assume that following the sneak peek, 4x22 will give us a scene in which Jemma tells Fitz that their future isn’t dead. … And then later Fitzsimmons reflect on that a bit more (aka, this fic ;) )
Works sort of as a follow-up to "The Secret Marriage Never Can Be Broken" and definitely as a follow-up to Learn from my mistakes (Daisy/Fitz brotp)
Thanks to @dilkirani for the beta
[Read on AO3]
Even the stars, they burn (Some even fall to the earth)
He walks into their bunk ahead of her, his movements like in slow motion. But then she is just as hesitant, looking around at the pictures fallen off the walls, dust and ash somehow having found its way in, covering the furniture, their bed. The quarters hadn't been hit as hard as other parts of the base, but their former home certainly hadn't escaped unscathed.
He walks over to his nightstand, opening the drawer. A faint smile flashes across his face and Jemma doesn't have to guess to know what he's looking at.
He reaches inside and pulls out the photograph and Jemma sighs in relief knowing that the image had survived.
"You should call her," she suggests quietly.
He turns his head, smiling weakly, and nods. "Yeah. Yeah, I will."
"It's strange," Jemma contemplates, turning her back on him to look around their room. "I'm almost happy we can't come back here. Moving somewhere else ... it sounds.... nice. Like a fresh start. I know we'll never be able to leave it all behind and forget what happened, but I think that maybe... maybe a different environment will make it easier. Certain things. A room with windows. Our own bathroom. Own kitchen. A real… a real home. A place to ourselves. We could try the apartment Daisy—"
"Jemma," he interrupts her, quietly, and Jemma turns back around to face him.
She gasps when her eyes fall onto the small box he's holding in his trembling hand. His lips are quivering and his eyes are tear-rimmed and fearful.
"Did you mean you?” His voice is shaky and wavering, his chest rising and falling with anxious breaths. “What you told me earlier? That you... that our future isn't—isn't dead. That you still want it. With me. To grow old together. Did you mean it when you said that you want me to be—"
A smile flashes across her face. "The father of my children? Yes. Yes, Fitz, I meant all of that. All of that and more. I want to marry you and start a family and spend my life with you, through pain and joy and everything. I'll marry you tonight or tomorrow or a year from now or ten. Whenever you're ready. And until then, I'll be by your side if you let me. Please, let me."
He opens the box, his hands shaking so hard he almost drops it. He looks at her, squints to let a single tear escape his eyes just to stare straight back into her soul a moment later. He drops to both knees. Jemma can tell that it wasn't on purpose, not part of an old-fashioned romantic gesture. It's his body giving way underneath him, underneath the weight he’s carrying. He looks up at her, fighting back tears, his fingers desperately gripping the small box, the diamond reflecting the ceiling light.
Jemma falls to her knees in front of him, cupping his face. "Fitz."
She pulls his chin up, kissing him softly. She notices the anxious breath he inhales, hears his stifled sobs, feels one of his tears dripping onto her cheek as his lips brush against hers both urgently and fearfully. He breaks their kiss, his breathing ragged and shallow, his forehead once again resting against hers.
“It hurts,” he whispers. His breath mingles with hers. “It hurts so much, and I’m so scared.”
“I know.” Jemma keeps her eyes closed, her lips pulling into a sad smile. “I know, Fitz. Let me carry it. Just for a little bit, just long enough. Let me help carry your pain, like you helped me carry mine. Let’s fix this like we always do.”
She forces herself to bring enough distance between their faces so that she can look into his eyes, her thumbs brushing gently across his cheeks. “Together! That’s when we’re at our best!”
A smile flashes across his face, pained and sad and happy all rolled into one. His gaze falls to the small box in his hand and he fumbles, trying to force his trembling fingers to grab hold of the ring. He places the box on the ground, before stretching out his free hand palm-up, Jemma's eyes following each of his movements.
She rests her hand in his and slowly he slips the ring onto her finger, before gazing into her eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as his thumb gently glides over the ring and the finger it adorns.
“I can’t promise that it will be easy, Jemma. I can’t promise that it’ll be quick. I can’t promise that I won’t doubt myself along the way. But I promise, I won’t run. I won’t push you away. I won’t give up. I won’t give up on myself or you or us. I promise I will love you no matter what.”
She smiles, reaching up to frame his face with her hands, to pull him closer and rest her forehead against his, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent. “That makes two of us then.”
fitzsimmons + “It’s two sugars, right?” - LOVE YOUR WRITING
Hey there anon! Thank you for the compliment and the prompt. I’m sure this is not what you were expecting when you sent me this prompt, but anyway, have some Post-Framework comfort/fluff (I think it doesn’t contain many spoilers besides the general idea of The Framework Plot, but because I might be wrong, know that I’m up to date with canon)
we’re not broken, just bent
[AO3]
Summary: She went away leaving behind her only a note saying I love you, but I can’t do this. The last day of each month, she takes out the phone she only uses to communicate with S.H.I.E.L.D. and writes to him: Not yet. She has sent him a Not yet message nine times already, but when she is about to send him the tenth, she receives an email from him: You mean more than anything to me. She gets choked up, but for the first time in a long time, tears feel like a blessing. She doesn’t answer him with her customary Real, but instead with I think I’m ready, Fitz. Or: Fitzsimmons reunite ten months after The Framework
Notes: Okay, people, hear me out before reading. I rated this T because I don’t think it’s too triggering/goes in deep into any serious stuff. But. This takes place after The Framework and therefore deals with what happened to them there; even if this is written in a light way and is supossed to be about healing and comfort, please heed of the warnings for your own safety, in case *you* don’t feel like dealing with *any* of this: WARNINGS: Fitzsimmons being apart for some healing time; mention of panic attacks; dealing with the aftermath of brainwashing/manipulation; use of Peeta Mellark’s (from The Hunger Games) way of sorting through his memory after being brainwashed; references to general, non specific PTSD.
Sneak Peak:
She tells him family anecdotes and about her work in a research center downtown; he tells her a little about his therapy and about the work he has been supervising at S.H.I.E.L.D., but not doing. She is fascinated, because watching him is like watching a stranger doing an impression of someone she knows: she can recognize the mannerisms, the tones of his voice, the turns of phrase, but she can’t exactly predict every movement before it happens, she can’t recognize the way every muscle on his face moves to form the big picture. It’s a good thing, because despite it not being his fault, her brain associated his face with terrible experiences; having a slightly new Fitz to get herself used to helps with both forging new, positive memories about him and with reconnecting with the old memories that she wants back.
The distance was good for her, because she missed him so much that now she can only be in awe of him, of his good heart, of his soft voice, of the tenderness of his hand, of his delightful brain. She is not naïve, she knows there will come times when it won’t be so easy, when flashes will hunt them both, but they are still capable of having a quiet moment of happiness together, and she wants to treasure that.
@fitzsimmons616: Could you do 39, please? Fitz to Jemma post Framework.
+
@myownwoorld: Hi, can you please make one with 39, make it as angsty as you like…. I like to suffer :)
You guys happen to ask for the same one, so here it is! Because of how much angst the show has, I for some reason have a hard time writing a lot of it. But, but your request has been answered as best as I can.
39: “How can you even look at me?”
Leopold James Fitz had never had a bad bone in his body. Jemma knew him as the man who loved monkey’s, the man who cried during sad movies, who hated horror films, and who ogled at any precious child that crossed his path.
Jemma knew Fitz as the man who sacrificed his life countless of times for any and everyone on the team, especially her. He was the man who put his own personal feelings aside and helped her save a man he knew was a threat to their relationship, without her even having to ask. He was the man who accepted the Inhumans before anyone else. The man who refused to accept Ward was evil, despite the evidence laid out in front of him.
The man that crossed the stars for her. The man who would have jumped off a plane for her. The man who drowned for her.
The man who felt bad if ever harming anyone, and if he ever had to kill someone out of self-protection he had nightmares for weeks after.
She knew him as the man she loved with all her heart, with every fiber in her being, her soul intertangled with his for all eternity.
This very man was standing right in front of her, staring at her with his normally warm, soulful eyes – now cold and empty. It was like he didn’t have any emotion left, his gun pointed to her temple, his expression never changing from anything by fury. She could see the hate in his eyes and it was crippling Jemma, slowly. He had never once looked at her with so much hatred – it was a look kept only for Ward himself, if even him.
“Fitz, it’s me. Please.”
Then, his stern expression faltered. “Who are you?” he asks so quietly she could hardly hear him.
Jemma eyed the barrel of the gun, then back at Fitz. “You know the answer to that, Fitz.”
He blinked, his heart heavy. She could see him. Her Fitz. “You say my name like…”
She smirks, just slightly, tears building up in her eyes. “Like it’s my favorite word?”
He stared her down, the gun in his hand no longer even relevant to him. His brow scrunched together and his free hand pinched the bridge of his nose. “Like I hear you say it all the time.”
“That’s because you do, Fitz.”
He looked back up at her, his gun slowly lowering to the ground. “Why can’t I shoot you?”
Jemma smiled for the first time in weeks. She pushed his gun to angle to the ground and stepped closer to him, placing her hand on the side of his face. “AIDA can program you however she likes, but Leopold Fitz would never hurt me, not in any life.”
His eyes were cloudy, but that crystal blue was shining through. “How can you look at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a good person. Like I deserve to be…” he trailed off, his eyes darting to the ground. The Doctor wasn’t a man without a heart, he was a man who had been forced to pretend he never had one.
“Because the Fitz I know is.”
His eyes searched hers, his eyelids pooling with tears. Emotions started overwhelming him, and a sob came out of his mouth as he said, “Jemma?”
She enveloped him into her arms, his head on her shoulder, tears running down her back. She placed a hand on the back of his neck and held him, whispering soothing words in his ear. “I’m here, Fitz, it’s me. I’m here.”
Director Mace’s funeral was today.
Jemma sat beside Fitz, their hands interlaced together. Fitz hadn’t said a word since this morning, his face showing almost no emotions – he just stared at the ground, detached from everything and everyone around him.
“Whoa, whoa, hey now,” Daisy shouted, leaving the table where they were all eating their meal. Other than Fitz, that is, he hadn’t touched his plate. With Daisy leaving, the table was empty, so Jemma took the opportunity to try to talk to him.
“Can’t believe you’re not hungry.” She gave his arm a slight shove.
For the first time in hours he muttered out, “Well, m’not.”
Jemma tweaked a brow at him. “You’re always hungry.”
Fitz just shrugged, his eyes now watching the empty seat in front of him.
“Fitz,” she whispers, giving his hand folded into hers a squeeze. “You can’t keep blaming yourself, Fitz.”
Fitz didn’t move, he was like a statue for a moment. Then, suddenly, he let loose of her hand and stood up, leaving the room without another word.
Jemma held back any tears that begged their way out and leaned back in her seat, taking in a deep breath. She knew he was processing, he was grieving, he needed time. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell though.
“He’s just trying to cope,” Coulson spoke beside her, causing Jemma to jump.
She looked at the (new) Director, swallowed down the lump in her throat, and nodded. “I know.”
“When you left for Hydra, and he realized your ‘going to see the parents’ was a cover, he didn’t eat for a good four days.” Coulson lapsed his hand over hers. “He’ll recover, just give it time.”
Jemma nodded. “Thank you, sir.”
He gave her a comforting smile, standing up from his chair. “It’s what I’m here for.”
Jemma allowed Fitz time on his own, knowing he needed it. After about an hour of never seeing him anywhere on base, she decided to search for him. She of course found him in their lab, his arms crossed across his chest, his eyes staring out at nothing. He looked so distant from everything, so lost.
“I’ve been looking for you,” she approaching his side, gently gripping his forearm. “You disappeared.”
“Yeah,” he looked up at her. His eyes were red like he’d been crying. “I needed some air.”
Jemma nodded, “It’s getting late, we should probably get some rest.”
Fitz shook his head, looking back at the ground. He hardly looked her in the eyes anymore – like he was ashamed for her to see what he was feeling. “I’m gonna stay here.”
Jemma scoffed. “Well you can’t sleep in the lab, Fitz.”
“Might as well.”
“Fitz,”
“I just … I need some space, Jemma.”
Anger boiled up inside of her. Not at Fitz, but towards AIDA and Radcliffe and even his dad. However, she couldn’t lash out at them, so she shamefully lashed out at whoever was in front of her. “We all need space, Fitz, but that doesn’t mean you have to move out, running away from me and everyone else you care about.”
“That’s not…” He let out an unsteady sigh. “M’sorry, Jemma, but I think –”
“Don’t finish that sentence.” She felt her temper running hotter and hotter. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for what happened, Fitz. The more you blame yourself, the more hurt you cause around you.”
Fitz shook his head again, his breath shallow. “How can I not? I killed Mace. I’m the reason –”
“No, Fitz,” Jemma turned his head to look at her. She looked him directly in the eyes as she said, “AIDA and Radcliffe are the ones at fault, do you understand me? You were a victim just as much as Mack or May were. You did not kill Mace, and you did not kill Agnes.”
Fitz searched her eyes, gazing at their desert beauty. He sucked in a deep breath, and while releasing he said, “How can you even look at me? It was my face that gave you all the injuries you’re still healing from. I was the one who pointed a gun at your face, who tortured…” his voice broke, and he looked back down. Her anger melted away, seeing the tears stream down his face. Jemma couldn’t stand seeing him like this. She had to fix it, but she knew she couldn’t use anything but words to try and soothe his pain.
“I can look at you because you are Leopold Fitz, the man I love with everything I have. It was never something I had to overcome.” She lifted his head again, brushing his cheek with her thumb. “I know you Fitz, and this is you. Not that LMD, not the Doctor, those men were never you and I knew that. Because no matter how much they might have looked like you, the warmth and love behind your eyes was never there, like it is now. This is the man I fell in love with – and despite your programming Fitz, you still always managed to twist whatever you were doing into what you saw as the right thing. You could never live with yourself, whatever version of you there was, to do something evil out of will. That speaks volumes, Fitz. It shows that no matter what programming, no matter what brain washing, manipulation, deception, it doesn’t matter, because you will always be Leopold James Fitz: lover of science, monkeys, positive outcomes, video games, and –”
“You.” He gave her a weak but loving smile.
“I was going to say space, but,” she gave him a teasing smile in return.
“I’m so sorry, Jemma.” This time, he didn’t look away. “For everything, I – I wanted to protect you and instead I caused you more suffering than I ever could have burdened –”
“Don’t you understand, Fitz?” She caressed his cheeks in both of her hands, wiping away his tears. “I never once blamed you.”
Fitz stood up from his seat, looking down at her beaming face. He took one of Jemma’s hands in his and cherished her smile before leaning in and sweetly kissing her on the lips. The kiss was short lived, but affectionate. Their foreheads met and meeting her eyes he said, “I love you, Jemma.”
She ran a hand through his hair, smoothing his overgrown curls. She returned the gaze, giving him a tender smile to say, “And I love you. We’re in this together, remember?”
Fitz closed his eyes, taking in everything. Then once opening them again he looked at her fully, searching her eyes, captivated by her strength and beauty. Then, he finally said out in one breath, “Together.”
Send me an ask with a number from my prompt list here!
I just can’t help it. These things just keep happening and I’ve stopped fighting it.
I hope you enjoy :) [I promise it has a fluffy end.]
After the Storm
Sneak Peek below the cut.
Sneak Peek:
He’s leaning against the brick wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest, staring out of the window in the oh-so-familiar corner of the base.
Jemma feels a certain sense of déjà vu at the sight.
Only their roles are reversed.
This time he is the one who is lost. He is the one who’s broken. Or more broken. He is the one being eaten by guilt and fear. His soul has been ripped to shreds by something no one should ever have to experience.
This time it’s her finding him. This time it’s her trying to push the night away and bring him hope.
‘Cause on a scale from 1 to 10 of how desperate I am for a Daisy/Fitz brotp post-Framework scene, my answer is 35!
[Read on AO3]
Learn from my mistakes
He stands next to the pod, trying to hide in its shadow. His eyes are fixed on where Jemma is sleeping in the cargo bay, her body stretched across the seats of the Zephyr. Somehow everything had caught up with her, the sheer physical and mental exhaustion of everything that had happened to them, forcing her body to shut down.
They had won, saved the world, but his body language is anything but victorious.
“Don’t you even think about it.”
He spins around, taking a panicked step backwards. His eyes are red, sad, and afraid when he sees Daisy, and a split-second later they dart to the ground, trying to avoid her. The sight hurts Daisy’s eyes, stabs her heart.
“Don’t think about what?” he asks barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse andtrans shaken.
“You were right, Fitz. I turned my back on you. I went through something terrible and I wouldn’t accept your help. I ran. And I won’t let you make the same mistake I made. I won’t let you turn your back on us, on her. I won’t let you run.”
He looks up and shrugs, his head briefly darting in the direction where Jemma is sleeping. “But maybe it would be better?”
“Fuck it would be!” She takes a step closer, never taking her eyes off him. “Did it make things better when she left? She left because she thought it would be better for you and fuck did that backfire! So, no, Fitz, it wouldn’t be better!”
“I don’t know how you can look at me, how she can look at me.”
Daisy shakes her head. “No. That’s not it, Fitz. You don’t know how to look at us. I know that feeling, ‘cause that’s how I felt when I came back after Hive swayed me!”
He looks up, a million questions in his eyes.
“I hurt so many people I loved, betrayed them, physically hurt them, almost killed them. Coulson, Mack, you, Lincoln. I was the reason Andrew was dead. And I hated myself. I hated myself so much that when Coulson came to me and tried to tell me that I wasn’t to blame, that I was brainwashed, I wouldn’t accept his forgiveness. I thought I didn’t deserve it. And when Mack came to me and told me ‘I forgive you’ straight to my face, I wanted to push him away, because I still felt like I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve forgiveness. But he didn’t let me. Mack didn’t let me push him away, he just held on tighter.”
Her voice is wavering and she’s fighting back her own tears, but she takes a step closer to where he’s standing, his head hanging low.
“And then I lost Lincoln, because he took my spot! Lincoln sacrificed himself when I was convinced it should have been me. And the hate for myself just grew. It grew and grew and I couldn’t forgive myself and I ran and it only made things worse, Fitz! You guys were offering me help. You were offering me forgiveness and I wouldn’t accept it! I won’t let you make that mistake, Fitz. I won’t! I forgive you. I forgive you for the things that were beyond your control, and I forgive you for the things that were in your control. I forgive you for not forgiving yourself yet. I forgive you and I won’t let you push me away, I won’t let you push her away. ‘Cause I love you, Fitz, and she loves you. The good, the bad, and the ugly. She loves you so much and you love her, and running away isn’t the answer ‘cause it would cause nothing but more pain for both of you! You need each other to heal! I know you hate yourself, Fitz. I know you hate what you’ve done and you feel guilty and I know you feel like you don’t deserve love or forgiveness or friendship or happiness, but you do! And I know the hardest part is forgiving yourself and nobody is expecting you to do that overnight. But if you run, then you’ll never forgive yourself, and you don’t deserve that. You don’t! So, I repeat: don’t you even dare think about it! I won’t let you run! I’ll be here, and Jemma will be here, and we will all be here to help you! Because I won’t let you make the mistake I made!”
She places her hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles flinch at the touch, but she also notices his trembling hands reaching up, resting on her hips, and so she pulls him closer, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, her hand curling around his neck, massaging it gently.
“We change, Fitz. All of us! All the time! You’re different now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And one day, you’ll accept that and embrace that, and you’ll be an even better person because of it.”
She notices how his knees buckle, how his body is shaken by sobs, how he clings to her more tightly, and so she pulls him up, carries his weight.
“I got you. I won’t let you fall.”
Also, I saw this gif set after I had sent off my fic to my beta reader, and it’s basically my fic in a nutshell and just so perfect and makes me cry. So, thank you for that, @linseymorris
