#extrasad

[death-born-aphrodite]

goodbyes were never really your thing. so i’ll just pretend we had one and maybe i’ll sleep a little better at night. i watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and i just kept thinking how nice it would be to have you erased. i know that’s not the message of the film but god it’d be nice. so now you’ll sit and rot in my head. and i’ll try not to spend my summer thinking about you but you feel like a missing tooth. it was a summer of revelations but you weren’t around to hear them. i want to call you like the old days and tell you everything you’ve missed. but i don’t know you anymore and you don’t know me. so i’ll lay in my bathtub and try not to drown and i’ll keep telling myself “i know it’s for the better” but it wasn’t suppose to be this way was it? i wish you the best but please, if you ever wake up in the middle of night and think that you got it all wrong, please, don’t call me.

- “anyway, don’t be a stranger”

[cultheart]

but i have a lover and i have a best friend, i’m doing well and i hope u listen to this... u’ll always be on my list of all the good things that i miss.

[god-exi-ts]

You’re talking to strangers and acting like you’re more than okay. You smile from ear to ear when you feel the tears approaching. You don’t know how to let it out you so block out the entrance from the inside. You love making people laugh and laughing till your stomach hurts and your eyes water. You keep chasing rainbows. You’re sitting alone in your head letting the voices talk from your brain directly into your heart. You walk on razors and your feet have no feeling in them, it started from the top of your head and trickled down throughout your body. You can’t feel it anymore you can’t feel anything. You don’t remember what it felt like to feel something so you hold on to the things that make you feel anything. You attach yourself to whatever makes you feel something. Anything. Good or bad. You’ll take any of it because you’re desperate and trying to survive, ease the pain in whatever way you can. You say everything will be alright everything will be alright everything will be alright. If you say it enough it will be okay. If it isn’t okay you can pretend. Everything will be alright. You will be okay.

[my-angel-my-stars]

The Art of Becoming [Moore, A.R.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Art of Becoming

So, i have officially published my first book, and if you’d like to show it some love i’ve linked it here. With tumblr being the place where i express myself the most, in terms of social media, you all have seen me grow with each poem that is in this book. i am so grateful for all of the support and hope that you love ‘The art of becoming’ as much as i loved writing it. x

[regretfulfeels]

“You were my whole world, and I wasn’t fucking even in yours.”

Brii Watts via regretfulfeels on ig

[pol-ar-ity]

You can spend the night, you know that, right?

You don’t have to run the red to get to me, to be in my bed for just a few minutes. You’re allowed to drive slow, not race through the yellows, and you can come to a full stop. Park your car behind mine in the driveway and lock the door. Because you can spend the night.

Babe, no, I don’t need anything but for you to take off your clothes. Let your necklace dangle over my chest, dip your head low to my collarbones, pin my arms above me. Make me weak. You don’t have to sneak out so my neighbors don’t hear you, or roll your car in neutral until you reach the light. Because you can spend the night.

I’m on fucking fire right now, as we lie on opposite sides of the bed. My thighs are still shaking and your skin tastes bitter to my tongue. You’re turned away from me, and I can hear you thinking, see the gears in your brain turning. Honey, stop. Because you can spend the night.

I’ll make as many excuses as I want, and as many as you need. It’s late. The weather is atrocious. Traffic will be stopped. Drunk drivers are out. You’re tired. The whole world is falling to pieces and I just need you here with me for nine more hours, and yes. You can spend the night.

Because, yes, I want you to spend the night.

“okay so... will you?”

[raine]

i started wearing my seatbelt again

i know that doesn’t mean much but when all you think about is dying, taking an action to stay safe is improvement.

then the thing masking my pain ended up becoming another painful thing

i don’t wear my seatbelt anymore

[avanillaopus]

How do you live with a mother whose idea of love is burning down bridges and then burning the ashes? How do you live in her house, constantly awaiting her next episode, staring at your bedroom door and waiting for her to burst through it? You go days without eating because you're terrified to go downstairs and you hope that this will help you shrink small enough to fit into your childhood hiding spots - all the places she'd never think to look. You cut your wrists, hips, thighs, any parts of your unloved skin that you can reach in hopes it will slow your breathing down before she hears you panicking - she's already reminded you once today that there is no room for weakness in her house. You smell burning again and get ready to bid farewell to another bridge, another memory, another part of your relationship that you'll never see again. You're not as bothered as you should be because in all honesty, there wasn't really a relationship or a bridge to begin with.

h.w